Midnight Sun the missing chapters
by jackiechanel
Summary: My version starts where Stephenie's ended. From Edward's POV, follow him as he resists the urge to kill the girl he loves while simultaneously protecting her from the danger that follows her.
1. Chapter 1 The Truth

13. The Truth

I pulled my Volvo, hesitantly, into the spacious garage, afraid of what I might find. After all, Emmett had forewarned me that Rosalie was "on the warpath" and my instincts were telling me that she'd taken her anger out on my favorite car. As usual, my instincts were correct. However, it seemed that the wrath of Rosalie had been interrupted because there was minimal damage to the expensive car. If a few choice dents and a busted headlight were all that she'd managed to do, I could only imagine what was waiting for me inside.

Just as they were on the day of the van incident, my family was seated at the long mahogany table. Carlisle and Esme, Jasper and Alice, Emmett and Rosalie. For the first time in a long time I noticed the empty eighth chair. Would that chair ever hold someone for me? Bella's face, eyes blood red, flashed in my mind but I quickly swept away that thought. Alice would not be right about this.

I took my seat at the table, stealing another quick glance at the empty chair to my right. Maybe one day.

I took a minute to gather my family's thoughts but it seemed that only Rosalie was truly angry. The others were amazingly calm, with no help from Jasper. Esme was overjoyed, thinking how much happier I _looked._ If only she knew how happy I _felt._ Alice's thoughts were reflecting the same sentiment as our mother's and of course she couldn't wait until I allowed her to meet Bella. She was already planning a shopping trip.

Carlisle and Jasper wanted to know the hows and whys. Alice had stayed true to her word, as best as she could and not told them the details about Port Angeles. Emmett could care less. In his opinion, Bella knowing the truth was a relief as long I as I remained the brother I was months ago before the small fragile girl came to Forks.

Rosalie couldn't contain her anger. Seeing me, in my place at the table, the scent of the most fragrant girl I'd ever met still lingering on my jacket, enraged her to the point that she spoke before I could utter a word.

"Moron!" she yelled. "How could you do this to us…_again_?"

"Rose…" Carlisle warned. "This is not how we want to begin this conversation. Let's hear what happened from Edward."

I almost smirked at Rosalie. _Almost. _Gloating would not help the situation.

"Edward, dear," Esme spoke, her soft voice full of excitement. "How did this happen? How does Bella know the truth?"

"First of all," I started, glaring at Rosalie while I spoke," this wasn't exactly my fault. I did not reveal our secret. Bella had another source."

"Who?" Jasper asked, panic in his voice. If someone, other than the love of my _existence_ knew our secret, there would be problems.

"Jacob Black. He's a Quileute."

Though Jasper was not with us when Carlisle and Ephraim Black made the treaty, he understood how crucial this new information was. We all did.

Esme looked at Carlisle. "The treaty has been broken. What does this mean?"

I immediately thought back to Bella's description of how she'd convinced Jacob to tell her the story. Poor Jacob Black. He had no idea of what he was doing.

"It doesn't have to mean anything," I answered. "Jacob most likely doesn't believe he's done anything wrong. He doesn't believe in the Quileute legends. He told Bella it was just a scary story. Bella drew her own conclusions."

"And her response…?" Carlisle wondered.

I shuddered as the memory of Bella's unforgettable words flooded my head.

_It doesn't matter._

"She doesn't care!" Alice practically cheered. "She doesn't care that we're different. She loves him."

"You mean, she doesn't care that you're going to kill her?" Rosalie interjected sarcastically. "What a stupid girl."

"She's not stupid!" Alice jumped to Bella's defense before I could. "She's smart, and beautiful, and nice and we all are going to love her one day. I can see that," Alice rambled. "Even you, Rose."

Rosalie shook her head, her golden locks swinging back and forth viciously.

"Is this what we've become? Have we become so complacent that we do not remember the rules?"

Emmett placed his hand on her shoulder. She shook it off.

"I will not stand for this!" Rose continued. "We," she yelled, pointing her herself and Emmett, "have done nothing wrong, have broken no rules. No one here has with the exception of Edward. If we do not do something, we will all be considered accessories. I love you, dear brother, but I will not burn for this!"

Rosalie rose and pushed her chair back so hard it hit the dining room wall and splintered into a thousand pieces. Esme gazed sadly at her beloved chair. I vowed to buy her a new one the next day. Everyone else watched Rosalie storm out of the room. I listened carefully, ready to stop her if she went anywhere near my car. But she didn't. She headed to the thicket of trees behind the house. Running, nonetheless. Rosalie hardly ever ran. Running tended to mess up her hair.

"I should go…" Emmett said but Carlisle shook his head.

"No, son, let her have some space. We all knew that Rosalie would be affected by this more than anyone else. She'll come back when she's ready."

It pained Emmett to know that his love was upset and hurting and he was powerless to stop it. I was amazed that he held no resentment towards me.

"Edward," Esme spoke, "tell us about this girl you love."

I shook my head. "Later Esme, I promise."

"What are you going to do, Edward?" Jasper questioned.

"I don't know," my voice was barely a whisper. "I can't leave her, yet I know that's the right thing to do."

"What about us?"  
"She won't tell," Alice's voice rang out. "We won't have to leave and no one will pay any more attention to us. We are safe." Alice's eyes were focused straight ahead and I could see what she saw. Our future, as a family, was secure. Only mine shifted, which was to be expected.

"That settles things," Carlisle said, confident in Alice's visions. "I have to get back to the hospital now."

I rose from my seat. "I'll be back."

"She's by the river," Alice said, looking ahead to see where I was going.

It didn't take me long to find my golden haired temperamental sister, sulking on a boulder sized rock, near the shimmering river. The sky was beginning to darken. I could hear Emmett lurking yards behind me, ready to spring into action if my discussion with Rosalie turned violent.

"Rose," I spoke softly, making sure that my voice stayed even. I thought Rosalie's overreaction was hilarious but I would not, _could not_ show her that.

"What do you want Edward?"

I sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry that I've upset you," I said. "I'm sorry you're hurt."

_I'm not hurt,_ she thought. She was not speaking out loud because; she too, could hear Emmett in the distance.

"Bella is a wonderful person, Rose. She'll never say a word to anyone about us. We're safe. Alice sees that."

"She does?"

"Yes. So please don't be angry with me. I will not put you or anyone in this family in danger."

She wanted to believe me. Her golden eyes said so. But she was still confused.

_Why a human, Edward? Why would you choose a human over one of our kind? Why not Tanya?_

"I don't know how it happened. But you chose Emmett when he was human."

_That's different. That bear was going to kill him. I didn't know him as a human._

"But what if you did? What if you knew him before and he was the same Emmett that you love today, just human? Would you be able to stay away?"

Rosalie closed her eyes, imagining the scenario. No, she would not have been able to stay away. She would have loved him then as well. Only she remembered she knew in a instance that she wanted him forever. She was willing to do what I couldn't.

"I guess I see your point. I just don't know how you do it. I can still smell her on you." Rosalie grimaced, her throat slightly burning.

"I have to. Until I have the strength to leave, I have to endure it." I felt silly showing weakness around Rosalie.

"You won't leave her," Rose stated. "She makes you happy. I can see that. And you won't change her, either. You're the only vampire in the world who would fall for a human and keep her alive." She grinned, her brilliant teeth gleaming. "You're so weird, Edward."

Rosalie hopped off the rock and peered into the trees.

"Emmett, you can come out now. I'm not going to rip him to pieces…this time."

Emmett stepped through the trees, grinning, hoping that all was really well.

"You guys cool now?"

"For now," Rose answered.

All was not completely forgiven. But it was enough for me. I rose too, ready to go back to the house. Only a few more hours before I could see Bella again, and I had to talk to Esme.

_And Edward,_ Rose silently called, while she and Emmett walked in the opposite direction. _I'm not sorry about your car. You're just lucky Carlisle came in when he did._

I sat on the boulder for a while longer, listening to the sounds of twilight. I could hear Rosalie and Emmett strolling through the woods...happy...in love. Hearing their joy made me think about Bella. Oh, how I loved her so much. It felt like loving her would kill me if I couldn't express it.

But how? How could I make it work? She was human. So fragile, so...breakable. She would do things that I never would. She would grow up, get older while I lived forever, trapped inside the body of a seventeen year old boy. Bella would want things that I could not give her. She would want to be married, have children. How could I subject her to my love when I could not even touch her without risking her life?

_Edward?_

Esme's soft mental voice called out to me. She was standing at the edge of the thicket, searching the forest for a glimpse of my pale skin standing out against the shadowy green.

"Over here, Esme," I answered back, "by the river."

Esme seemed to glide through the woods even though she was not walking fast at all. There was a time, shortly after her change, that she was thought of as a ghost. Humans would catch a glimpse of her and be spooked. Her pail skin, long brown hair, ethereal eyes would send them in the opposite direction, shaking in their boots. Later the ghost stories would begin to spread around the town. Esme has left spooky ghost "sightings" in at least three cities.

"Edward, what are you doing out here, all alone?" Esme asked, sitting down next to me.

"I wasn't alone. I was talking to Rosalie."

"That was hours ago," Esme said. "She and Emmett just got back from shopping. She seems okay now."

I shrugged. Rosalie was okay...for now. I didn't know if that would hold true if the situation with Bella continued to progress.

I also didn't realize how long I'd been sitting on the boulder until Esme reminded me. I looked up and it was pitch black in the forest, the only light was from the moon. I was a creature who never felt the physical effects of fatigue; however, sometimes I could feel my mind tire.

_Edward, _Esme thought, her eyes focused on the river, shimmering in the moonlight. _I don't want to pry but you promised you'd tell me about her._

I nodded. I had promised but I still did not know if I was ready to reveal my feelings to anyone, including my mother.

"Tell me about Bella. You love her... really love her, don't you?"

I groaned. Love was not a strong enough word to describe what I felt for Isabella Swan.

"Esme, I can't explain it. I'm drawn to her in a way that cannot be good. But I can't help it anymore. Part of me needs to be near her, has to be. The sane part is telling me to go...far away from her. Keep Bella safe. But I can't go. And she deserves more."

Esme laughed softly. "She must be a very special girl to deserve more than your unconditional love."

"You don't understand," I sighed. No one would ever understand.

"I know this is hard, Edward," Esme spoke softly. "Being in love is hard for any man to understand. But she's the one for you, human or not. You will figure out a way to make it work." Esme placed her arm around me and squeezed me close to her bosom.

I had very faded memories of my mother. All my human memories were vague but I remembered how my mother used to hold me like that whenever I was feeling down. In Esme's arms I felt like a child again.

"Tell me about her. What is she like?"

I sighed again. "She's the most beautiful person I've ever met. She's like a delicate flower, or a fragile work of art. Something that you should only look at but never touch. She's completely selfless and brave...and insightful. You're going to love her, Esme."

"I already do." And I knew she did.

"She makes you smile. She's made you live again. I love her for that alone."

"I can't be alone with her," I muttered, finally revealing my worst fear. "The very thought frightens me to the core."

"Why not?" Esme asked, a confused scowl on her angelic face. "You won't hurt her."

"Not purposely," I uttered. "But she draws me in, I want to touch her and hold her in my arms." I paused and chuckled grimly. "But I might crush her."

"Oh Edward," Esme laughed. "Stop being silly. You have the most control around humans than any of us other than Carlisle. Besides, they're not as fragile as you think."

Unconvinced, I stared straight ahead. Bella only knew a few general things about me. She knows that I'm a disgusting self loathing vampire. She does not understand what that means. She refuses to believe how much danger she's in just by being in my presence. She doesn't know the entire story.

"But you know you love her," Esme stated as if _she _could read my mind. "Sometimes, that's enough."

_Really? That couldn't be right._

"How did this happen, Edward?" Esme asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement. This is the part that she longed to hear. The details of her oldest son falling in love for the first time.

I looked at Esme. The words to describe how it happened were lost to me. How could I explain? What did she want to know? I closed my eyes and listened for Esme's unspoken words. But she was quiet, waiting for me to speak.

I took a deep breath.

"I don't know exactly how it happened. After our first meeting, I hated her."

"Yes, I know," Esme whispered. "But you couldn't stay away."

"It was the accident. When that van almost crushed her....then at the hospital. If she had been hurt, I don't think I would have been able to handle it."

Esme nodded. "Then you met up with her in Port Angeles."

"No, that came later. First I went to her house." I felt so guilty about revealing that to Esme.

"You went to her house?"

I smiled guiltily. "Yes. I go almost every night. I like to watch her sleep."

Esme started to say something, to scold me, I'm sure but I kept talking.

"Bella talks in her sleep."

"What does she say?"

"A lot," I smiled. "The first night, when I was planning to leave, she said my name."

A strange emotional wave washed over me when I remembered her exact words.

_Edward. Stay. Don't go. Please...don't go._

I didn't realize I'd whispered the words out loud until I looked at Esme. She was staring at me, dreamily, like she was hearing her favorite romance novel come true.

"That's beautiful," Esme breathed. "That's when you knew that you loved her?"

I nodded. "But now I don't know what to do?"

"Maybe it's not up to you to decide," Esme said quietly. "If she loves you, maybe she'll be the one to make that decision."

I wanted to do just that, to allow Bella to choose. But Bella never made the right choice...the _safe_ choice. She seemed to be indifferent to the danger of being with me.

_It doesn't matter._

But it did matter. There has to be some way to make her see that.

"Edward," Esme spoke again, wanting my undivided attention.

"Yes?"

"You are making this too difficult. Our kind is attracted to and love humans often. This is not taboo. I was a human when Carlisle saved me. So were you, Emmett, and Rosalie. Love doesn't care about differences. You have two options and the choice has to be Bella's."

I grimaced, knowing what option Bella would foolishly choose if left to her own devices.

"I won't allow her to make any foolish decisions."

Esme laughed and patted my shoulder.

"You are such a man. So naïve."

She rose from the boulder and tousled my hair.

"I'm going inside and work on some designs. You go see Bella."

Esme smiled back at me for before taking off in a dash to the house. I slid off the boulder and ran in the opposite direction.

When I reached the edge of the forest that led to the Swan's backyard, I slowed to a crawl, taking in the sounds of the neighborhood.

It was past midnight and the entire neighborhood was dark and quiet. I crossed the yard and scaled the face of the house once again. Some days I used the key that Charlie kept hidden but tonight, as if she was expecting me, Bella had left her window open. I climbed, soundlessly, through the open window. Her room was dark but not for my eyes. I sat in her rocking chair in the corner and watched her.

Bella slept fitfully, tossing and turning. She mumbled incoherently, broken sentences that I couldn't figure out. I waited patiently to hear the one word I longed to hear. Way into the early hours of the morning, right before falling in a restful slumber Bella murmured....

"Edward."

It was what I'd waited to hear. I loved the breathless way my named rolled off her lips. I waited longer, to see if she would say it again but she didn't. Before dawn I heard Chief Swan stirring in his sleep. That was my cue to exit and make it back to my house to change and get prepared to spend the day at school, mostly with Bella.

It didn't take long for me to change my clothes. Alice frowned as she watched me toss my clothes into a heap on my bedroom floor.

"You know, Edward, I don't buy cheap clothes. That's an expensive Italian shirt you just tossed on the floor."

I smiled at my little sister's frustration. Alice believed that we all should share in her love for fashion. Rosalie and Esme did. Carlisle tolerated it. Jasper pretended and Emmett and I ignored it. Clothes were clothes.

"I take it we're riding with Rosalie...again?"

"Please?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter to me," Alice squeaked. "I like that you're spending more time with Bella. I'll be able to meet her soon."

"Yes, probably so," I smiled which seemed to make Alice happier. "Now get out of here so I can change."

Alice flitted down the hallway. Not paying attention, I grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt. My wardrobe, compliments of Alice, was made up of clothes that no normal teenage boy in Forks, Washington would wear. Alice loved to dress me like a male model from the pages of Vogue. I wore whatever she bought because I had to. I had other interests than clothes.

I reached Bella's street a little earlier than I'd intended. Chief Swan's cruiser was still in the driveway. I sat in my car at the top of the street, listening to see what Bella and the stoical police chief talked about in the morning.

I caught the tail end of what I assumed to be a slightly intrusive conversation on the Chief's part.

"I'm not going to the dance, Dad." Bella sounded frustrated.

"Didn't anyone ask you?" Charlie's voice was more concerned. Obviously he saw his daughter in a different way than she saw herself. He expected boys to fawn over her. So did I and they did. Only Bella didn't notice them.

"It's a girl's choice," Bella replied, easily sidestepping that conversation.

A few minutes later Charlie came out of the house, a slight frown present. I could hear his thoughts. He was concerned, worried actually, about Bella dating or lack of. The poor man was torn between wanting his seemingly withdrawn daughter to like a boy and not wanting her to ever date. It seemed to be torture, having a daughter. Charlie worried that Bella might meet a boy she liked, because it was harder for a father to accept that another member of the male species may be interested in his daughter. But yet, Charlie didn't want his daughter to be a social outcast either. This was a side of Chief Swan I bet Carlisle would appreciate.

As soon as Charlie's cruiser was out of the driveway, I pulled into the driveway behind Bella's ancient truck. I tried to be as casual as possible, not wanting Bella to catch me staring as she shut the door behind her. She paused shyly before opening the car door. I smiled at her, but I could feel my throat starting to burn as her scent hit me. I took a deeper breath. If I'm going to be around her then I would have to get used to it.

"Good morning," I said, keeping my voice steady as the tingling/burning sensation in my throat got worse. "How are you today?"

I looked over her face. She hadn't slept well and it showed. Dark circles under her eyes were obvious against her nearly translucent skin.

"Good, thank you," Bella answered and fastened her seat belt.

I looked her over once again. My eyes lingered on her the bags under her eyes again.

"You look tired." And I didn't like it.

"I couldn't sleep," Bella confessed. Her heartbeat quickened and a slight blush colored her cheeks.

"Neither could I," I teased, trying desperately to ignore the blood that was pooling under her skin and keep the conversation light.

Bella laughed comfortably at my teasing.

"I guess that's right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did."

"I wager you did."

"So what did you do last night?" Bella asked.

I shook my head and chuckled. She must have forgotten what I said before I left her yesterday.

"Not a chance. It's my day to ask questions."

Bella creased her forehead. "Oh, that's right. What do you want to know?"

Everything. I wanted to know every thing about her but it was too soon. I'd have to settle for the basics.

"What's your favorite color?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "It changes from day to day."

"What's your favorite color today?"

She glanced down at her brown turtleneck. "Probably brown."

"Brown?" I laughed. I was expecting pink or purple, or even blue.

"Sure. Brown is warm. I _miss_ brown. Everything that's supposed to be brown – tree trunks, rocks, dirt – is all covered with squashy green stuff here," Bella complained.

I considered what she said. There was a time when I missed colors, any color. When we only ventured out at night, lurking in the shadows, through darks woods and forests to hunt where everything was black.

"You're right. Brown is warm."

Bella had swung her hair over her shoulder, as if she was creating a wall between us. I wanted to see her face so I reached towards her...hesitated...then swept her hair behind her shoulder, making sure to only touch her hair.

We rode the rest of the way to school in silence. I concentrated on _not_ being affected by Bella's scent. I pulled into a parking space, knowing our time together was almost over, at least _for the moment._

"What music is in your CD player right now?" I asked.

Her answered surprised me. I pulled out the same rock CD from my CD holder.

"Debussy to this?" I grinned when she took the CD. I wanted her to look at me but Bella stared at the CD case.

For the rest of the day, I asked all the questions I felt like. Movies she liked, places she'd traveled to and books. Bella had an eclectic taste in books.

At lunch we sat at our table and more questions flowed. I was fascinated with Bella's voice, the brief flashes of pink on her cheeks. Whenever she blushed, I wanted to know why.

"What's your favorite gem?" I asked, simply because I noticed that Bella never wore jewelry.

"Topaz, she answered quickly, and then her cheeks burned bright red.

"Why topaz?" Bella didn't answer.

Instead she stared down at the table, refusing to meet my eyes. But her heart rate increased and her blush deepened.

Bella was embarrassed.

"Why are you blushing?" I smiled and gazed at her lovely face. She wouldn't look up. As if she knew that a single glance in my direction, which I was hoping for, would reveal all her secrets. I hadn't forgotten. Bella didn't like to be _dazzled._

"Tell me," I finally demanded.

"It's the color of your eyes today," Bella reluctantly answered, sighing in defeat. She fiddled with a strand of hair.

"I supposed if you asked me in two weeks, I'd say onyx."

Her answer floored me. There was a chance that Bella was just as obsessed with me as I with her. Revealing this would only make the situation worse.

"What kinds of flowers do you prefer?" I asked quickly.

Bella sighed. I didn't have to read her thoughts to know that she was relieved that I hadn't asked her to elaborate.

Lunch ended too quickly and we were back in Biology class, watching day two of Lorenzo's Oil. I asked Bella more questions until Mr. Banner dragged the A/V unit into the room.

To my ears, it sounded like nervous chatter until Mr. Banner turned out the lights and the room went dark again. I slid my chair slightly farther from her but it didn't help.

The same electric spark from the first day was back and just as strong. In the darkness I felt the urge again to touch her hand, to hold it in mine. I resisted, knowing that I'd want more.

Bella leaned forward on the table, resting her chin upon her folded arms. She tried to act as if she was engrossed in the movie but I didn't have to be a mind reader to know that she wasn't.

Oh, how I wished I could hear what she thinking. Her thoughts, feelings, emotions were welcome. Did she think she was in danger? Obviously...frustratingly... not because she never hesitated to be alone with me.

Unlike Bella, I could not resist looking at her. Her wrinkled brow, her dark hair...was fascinating to me.

Mr. Banner turned the lights on. I hadn't noticed that hour had passed. It felt like only minutes. Bella glanced at me then, a shy smile on her face. I stood up and waited for her to gather her things. She stumbled a little and I resisted placing my hand on her arm to steady her.

We walked towards the gym. Bella shifted nervously. The sight of us together drew stares as we walked silently. We stopped at the gym doors. For the first time since lunch Bella looked right at me.

"Well..." her voice trailed off.

"See you after class," I spoke softly. I lifted my hand and gently stroked her warm skin- from temple to jaw- with the back of my hand.

Her cheek warmed at my gentle touch and my hand tingled. My entire body burned from the touch.

I wanted to see what Bella was up to in Gym class but I could hardly pay attention. Mike was concentrating on winning all of the badminton games single handedly. He wasn't speaking to Bella either. That I was glad for, but he was concentrating so because he was determined _not _to think about Bella. It was working.

Emmett apparently needed my attention. I'd obviously missed out on something while I was by the river and then at Bella's.

"Esme, Rosalie, and Alice are going to Seattle to shop later," Emmett informed me. "What do you want to do since it's gonna be just us guys?"

Mrs. Goff stared at us and shook her head.

_Anyway, _Emmett spoke to me another way. _What do you want to do? Jasper and I were thinking of going hunting. You in?_

I shook my head no. I'd already planned on hunting with Alice the next day. Hunting two days in a row was unnecessary. I wasn't even thirsty. Going with Alice was a necessary precaution for my Saturday trip with Bella.

_Come on man, _Emmett groaned. _You haven't done anything with us since you met that girl._

He was right. I hadn't thought about all the time I'd been spending away from my family. Jasper, Emmett, and I were really close. Being with Bella wouldn't jeopardize our relationship –I hoped – but I shouldn't neglect the other ones I loved too.

So far, Alice was the only one who knew about my plans on Saturday. I didn't tell the others because I didn't know how they would react. Well, I knew how one of them would and I had no patience for Rosalie, especially since I needed to focus all of my attention on _not _harming the human I planning to spend the day with.

"I'm hunting with Alice tomorrow," I said, my voice so low only Emmett could hear.

_And Saturday? _Emmett asked. _Alice said it's going to be sunny all weekend. We could do something then._

"I have plans already," I guiltily admitted. Emmett looked at me in surprise.

_Plans? Who do you have plans with?_

Before the question was fully thought, Emmett's thoughts shifted when he answered his own question.

_Bella? You're spending the day with a human? How?_

"I don't know but I am."

Emmett laughed out loud. Mrs. Goff and the rest of class turned to look at him. He was not embarrassed.

_Chief Swan's daughter! You're spending the day with the chief of police's daughter! Wait until I tell Jasper!_

I cringed. I didn't see the humor in the situation. But I knew my brothers. They'd be placing bets on the outcome by the time the sun set.

_You'd better be careful...real careful,_ Emmett warned as if I didn't already know that. _The more she knows, the more danger that puts us in...and the more Rose is going to hate you._

Thankfully the bell rang and Emmett and I parted ways. He went to meet Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice while I waited by the gymnasium doors for Bella.

Her eyes lit up and her bashful smile widened when she saw me waiting. I was going to speak but my words caught in my throat momentarily.

Was it possible that Bella was just as excited to see me as I was at seeing her?

I smiled back, reached for her books and we began walking towards my car. Carrying her books kept my hands occupied just as driving did. Even though I wanted to feel her warm skin underneath my cold fingertips, I resisted. I had to resist...a lot...when I was with Bella. It was somewhat uncomfortable but worth every minute if it meant I could spend those minutes with her.

Bella sat in the passenger seat, looked up at the sky and sighed.

"Are you sure it's going to be nice this weekend?"

"I'm positive. You miss Phoenix, don't you?"

The desert was a place that I'd only ready about. It was useless for a vampire coven to _ever _be in the desert.

"Yes," Bella answered longingly while I drove. "I love Phoenix. It's so...pretty. Always bright, always sunny...." her voice trailed off as she reminisced about home.

"Tell me more," I urged, enjoying the beautiful ring of her voice, the enthusiasm as she spoke of flowers and sunsets as I drove to her house. I parked behind her rustic truck again and listened while she described her favorite things.

The sky, darkened because of the storm, finally erupted and the rain plummeted around us. Bella was unusually talkative – more comfortable. I listened intently as she did her best to answer my endless questions. She described how much she liked the scent of creosote, how she missed the high pitched sound of the cicadas in July. She spoke a lot with her hands. I watched her fingers and hands gently caress the air as she tried to do the impossible and explain why she thought the desert was so beautiful or how much she loved the little cluttered house that she and Renee shared.

I listened to her voice and watched her as she giggled about how cluttered and disorganized her room was. Bella's sweet giggle reverberarated through my car and for an instance I completely forgot my next question. A brief silence ensued.

"Are you finished?" Bella asked. She sounded relieved.

"Not even close," I replied. I looked at the sky, "but your father will be home soon."

"Charlie!" From the sound of Bella's voice she'd completely forgotten about her father. "How late is it?"

"It's twilight," I murmured, gazing out the windshield. _Twilight,_ the most depressing time of the day for my kind...or at least for me and my family. I felt Bella's curious eyes on me. I turned towards her.

"It's the safest time of the day for us – the easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way...predictable, don't you think?"

Bella shook her head, her chestnut hair falling over her shoulders, causing the burning sensation again.

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." Bella frowned. "Not that you see them here much."

I laughed. I couldn't help it. Bella seemed so innocent, yet so... perceptive.

"Charlie will be here in few minutes. So, unless you want to tell him that you'll be with me Saturday..." I said lightheartedly. Although I desperately wanted her to alert the Chief as to whom she'd be spending her time with...just in case.

"Thanks but no thanks," Bella replied, gathering her books. "So, is it my turn tomorrow then?"

"Certainly not!" I teased. "I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?"

"What more is there?"

"You'll find out tomorrow." I reached across her small frame to open the door. I could hear her heart start to race. I grinned. It amazed me how excited Bella seemed to get whenever I was near her.

An uneasy feeling came over me as I caught the scent of trouble in the air. My hand froze on the car handle.

"Not good," I muttered, more to myself than anything.

"What is it?" Bella asked, alarmed. I caught a glimpse of my face – jaw clenched, eyes disturbed – in her eyes and forced myself to relax.

"Another complication."

I flung the door open and moved swiftly away from her. It would not be good to be caught in any type of compromising position with Bella.

The flash of headlights caught Bella's attention as a dark car pulled up to the curb just a few feet away from my car.

"Charlie's around the corner," I warned, staring at the car's occupants.

Billy and Jacob Black sat in the car, staring back at me. Billy wore an expression of pure disgust and distrust.

_What the hell is he doing here? _Billy thought.

_Whose car is that? Why is Bella with him? Why isn't she driving her truck? Is that her boyfriend?_

I was confused. How could Jacob not know who I was?

I stared back at Billy and Jacob. Carlisle would have detested the look on my face. He would have recognized it immediately. I wore the same expression eighty years ago when I left him and Esme for a short time. It was a look of pure defiance.

The Quileutes had to no reason to be upset. I had not broken their treaty. I had not hunted on their lands. I had not bitten a human, although I had the urge to bite one of them. The look in Billy Black's eyes told another story. Maybe he knew that Jacob – his own flesh and blood – had already broken the treaty when he told Bella about us. Maybe Billy knew there was nothing stopping me if I chose to kill them all. But I wasn't the monster they perceived me to be. That monster had died in Bella's bedroom the night she pleaded with me – in her sleep – not to go.

I revved my engine as soon as Bella was safely out of the car and sped off towards my home.

Carlisle's Mercedes was gone when I pulled into the garage but I could hear him, Jasper, and Emmett in the living room watching a football game.

"Hey, it's the daredevil!" Jasper called out and I knew that Emmett had spilled the beans.

"That's not funny," I said, taking a seat on the floor next to the sofa.

"Yes it is," Emmett laughed. "After Saturday, you won't be able to tease Jasper about his self control anymore."

"That's right, big bro," Jasper co-signed. "Your almost perfect record is going to be tarnished. You're going to have to start all over."

"Boys, leave Edward alone," Carlisle scolded. He wasn't keen on the idea either but I could see that he trusted me _not _to hurt Bella.

"I'm sure he knows what he's doing."

Carlisle had never been so wrong. I had no idea what I was about to do. All I knew was that I'd started down this course and there was no turning back. Bella would not forgive me and there was no way I'd hurt her feelings like that.

The next morning was the same as the previous. I met Bella at her house. She climbed into the car with me, this time without hesitation. She looked well rested and excited.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked. I'd chosen to stay home with my family. I wasn't going to grant them another night of teasing – even the girls had joined in.

"Fine. How was your night?"

"Pleasant." Not exactly but it wasn't bad. It would have been better if I'd been with her.

"Can I ask what you did?"

I grinned and shook my head. "No. Today is still mine."

Today I wanted to know about her mother and their relationship. I wanted to know if Bella was more like Chief Swan or her mother Renee. I was interested in her life before she came to Forks. I even had to ask about her previous boyfriends.

We were at lunch when that particular question came up. I was surprised when Bella, so shyly informed me that she'd never had a boyfriend. Her cheeks flushed bright red and she looked down at the table as she spoke.

"So you never met anyone you wanted?"

How could that be? Surely, I could not be the only one she found interesting. Was it possible that I – a creature damned to walk the earth for eternity – could be her first boyfriend? The idea was insane.

"Not in Phoenix."

Her answer stopped my next question. I knew what she meant even though it was too soon to tell her that although I'd traveled the world, I'd never met one girl, human or otherwise, that appealed to me.

"I should have let you drive yourself today," I said instead.

"Why?" Bella demanded, as if the notion offended her.

"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch," I answered.

"Oh." Bella looked disappointed and I felt horrible.

"That's okay," she said. "It's not that far of a walk."

I frowned. Obviously she didn't understand how much I cared for her. Even so, she should have known I would not allow her to walk home alone.

"I'm not going to make you walk home. We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you."

"I don't have my key with me." She sighed again. "I really don't mind walking."

"Your truck will be here and the key will be in the ignition – unless you're afraid someone might steal it." I laughed at the notion of someone – anyone – stealing such an old and slow vehicle.

"All right," Bella agreed. "So where are you going?"

"Hunting," I answered grimly. "If I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow, I'm going to take whatever precautions I can." It wouldn't help…I already knew that.

"You can always cancel, you know."

Bella looked down again, refusing to meet my eyes…refusing to be dazzled into doing what I wanted her to do.

"No," she whispered. "I can't."

"Perhaps you're right," I agreed. She could not cancel just as I could not.

"What time will I see you tomorrow?" Bella asked me, her eyes bleak as if she hated that fact that I had to go.

"That depends….it's a Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?"

"No," she answered quickly. I tried not to grin at her perceived excitement.

"The same time as usual, then," I decided. "Will Charlie be there?"

"No, he's fishing tomorrow."

_How convenient._

"And if you don't come home, what will he think?" I asked sharply…angrily. How could she be so reckless?

"I have no idea," was Bella's cool reply. She was angry too, which I immediately recognized. I was used to Bella being angry with me.

"He knows I've been meaning to do the laundry. Maybe he'll think I fell in the washer."

I scowled at her. Bella tried to match the intense angry expression in my eyes. But I was winning. She had no right to be angry with me. I just wanted her to be cautious.

"What are you hunting tonight?" Bella asked me. She did not seem the least bit concerned that she was basically asking me what I was having for dinner.

"Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far."

"Why are you going with Alice?" Bella asked.

How could I explain my choice? I frowned, trying to figure out the words.

"Alice is the most…supportive."

Bella hesitated. "And the others? What are they?"

"Incredulous, for the most part."

Bella stole a glance at the table where my brothers and sisters sat, staring off in different directions. I could tell they were talking and could hear what they were saying. To Bella, it looked like they were sitting in silence.

"They don't like me," Bella guessed.

_Wrong. They didn't even know her._

"That's not it. They don't understand why I can't leave you alone."

The grimace on Bella's face surprised me.

"Neither do I, for that matter."

I shook my head slowly, looking at the ceiling before I met her chocolate eyes again. How could she still not know or understand my feelings for her.

"I told you – you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me."

She didn't believe me. She thought I was teasing. I was getting better at reading her facial expressions.

"Having the advantages I do, I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you…you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise."

Bella looked away uncomfortable, her eyes straying back to my family as I continued to explain.

"That part is easy enough to explain. But there's more…and it's not so easy to put into words."

Bella wasn't listening. Instead she'd caught the glare from Rosalie, my dear sister who I was going to physically hurt if she didn't stop glaring at Bella like she wanted to kill her…not feed…kill. I angrily hissed at Rose and she turned her head. Bella looked at me, confusion and fear widened her eyes.

"I'm sorry about that. She's just worried. You see…it's dangerous for more than just me, if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…" I couldn't finish my sentence. I couldn't say the words that I was thinking.

"If?" Bella prompted.

"If this ends…badly." I groaned silently and dropped my head in my hands. I felt miserable. Bella's hand reached out to comfort me. She stopped herself which was good. I don't think my family, especially Rosalie, would have reacted well if she had touched me.

"And you have to leave now?"

I raised my head. I didn't want to leave but I had to.

"Yes." Then I grinned. "It's probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology. I don't think I could take anymore."

Bella jumped, startled. I looked up. Alice, with her spiky hair and designer clothes that she claimed was fashionable – too fashionable for Forks – was standing behind me. I'd heard her approach. Bella had not.

_Finally!_ Alice's mental voice rang out like a bell.

_Wow, she's much prettier up close._

"Alice," I greeted her.

"Edward." She couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice.

"Alice, Bella – Bella, Alice," I introduced them.

"Hello Bella," Alice gushed. "It's nice to finally meet you."

I heard the emphasis on 'finally' and flashed a look at my sister.

"Hi Alice," Bella murmured shyly.

"Are you ready?" Alice asked me.

No! But the time had come. "Nearly," I answered instead. "I'll meet you at the car."

Alice walked away, thinking how badly she wanted to stay and talk to Bella.

"Should I say 'have fun' or is that the wrong sentiment?" Bella asked, taking her eyes off Alice.

"No, 'have fun' works as well as anything."

"Have fun then." She tried to sound as if she meant it. She did not fool me.

"I'll try." I smiled again. "And you try to be safe please."

Even though I was only going to be gone a matter of hours, Bella Swan attracted danger like a moth to a flame.

"Safe in Forks – what a challenge." Bella tried to be sarcastic.

"For you, it _is_ a challenge. Promise."

"I promise to try to be safe," Bella recited as she was talking to an adult…in a way she was.

"I'll do the laundry tonight – that ought to be fraught with peril."

"Don't fall in," I joked.

"I'll do my best."

Even though it was at her expense, it was fun joking with Bella. More fun than I'd ever imagined.

I stood up, not wanting to leave her side. Bella rose too.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?" I asked.

Bella nodded. She looked a little sad.

"I'll be there in the morning," I promised. I reached across the table to touch her face. I didn't care who saw or what Rosalie was thinking. I turned away quickly, the back of my hand stinging painlessly. I felt Bella's – and everyone else's – eyes on my back as I walked out of the cafeteria.

Alice was waiting inside the car. She knew how to pick a lock better than anyone I've ever seen.

"Your car is making me thirsty," she said when I got in. "Let's go…quickly."

I drove to our house and parked the Volvo in the garage. We had no use for a car on a hunting trip. Before we hit the park, our first stop was the Swan residence to retrieve Bella's truck. I knew where Charlie kept the spare key and opened the door. Alice looked at me suspiciously and followed me into the house.

"You probably shouldn't act so familiar here," she warned.

I ignored her and fished the truck key out of Bella's jeans in the hamper as Alice explored the small house.

"I'll meet you at the park," Alice told me. "I'm not riding in that thing again."

She took off into the forest. I drove the slow moving truck back to the high school and parked in the same spot I'd parked my car that morning, away from Rosalie's BMW. I wanted Bella to avoid any confrontation with my pig headed and outspoken sister until absolutely necessary.

The lot was empty, which was to be expected. I found a piece of scrap paper and left Bella a quick note and the key in the ignition as promised. When I was sure no one was looking I took off running into the forest. Alice was waiting.

Hunting with Alice was just the distraction I needed. I'd forgotten how much fun we have together. Like Esme, Alice wanted to hear every detail of my relationship with Bella. I felt extremely comfortable with my little sister, who in many ways was more experienced in the ways of love. She and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme, and even Rosalie and Emmett had the type of love that I one day wished to have with Bella, even though it was wrong.

By the time Alice and I returned to our house, I felt much better. Alice and Rosalie immediately went to Alice's computer to work on the design project for Rosalie's wardrobe...a never ending task that they'd started months ago.

Emmett and Jasper had discovered something new that peaked their competitive natures...Nintendo Wii. I liked playing with them most times. And it was one game they'd actually play with me. I didn't have much of an advantage on the Wii as I did in real life. We enjoyed playing tennis, baseball, and golf. Sometimes Rosalie and Alice joined in. Today, Jasper and Emmett were playing baseball. Esme was very grateful for the Wii. It provided a necessary distraction for her boys on the days we were stuck inside or couldn't play sports the way we liked to.

I greeted everyone and stole to my room. I sat on my couch and began something I had not done in months; write in one of my many journals. Writing about Bella – my feelings for her – was therapeutic.

Hours passed and still I wrote. The sun had already set by the time Alice and I had returned home. Emmett and Jasper had long finished their game. Carlisle had returned home from the hospital and still I wrote.

When the sun finally began to rise, trying to break its way through a thin cottony layer of clouds, I heard a soft knock on my door. Without waiting for an answer, Rosalie peeked her head in.

"Can I come in?" Rosalie usually spoke to me out loud. She hated the fact that I could hear her every thought.

"Yes, come in."

Rosalie glided into the bedroom and sat on the sofa next to me.

"Writing again?"

"Yes. I needed to get some things out of my head."

Rosalie nodded and stared out the glass window that made up one of my walls.

"So, today's the big day, huh?"

I stared confused, at my golden-haired sister. I usually didn't get to see the softer side of Rosalie. She reserved that for Emmett, Alice and Esme.

"Rose..." I started. "What's wrong?"

"Alice says you're not going to hurt...the girl. She's the only one who thinks so."

"Is that so?"

Rosalie turned her head sharply towards me.

"I know we talked but Edward...what are you doing? What are you thinking?"

"I don't know for sure. But I'll be sure that whatever I do has no affect on our family, namely you."

_This isn't about me!_ Rosalie wanted to yell out loud but she did not want _everyone_ to hear.

_Despite everything, you are my brother. I don't want to see you miserable for eternity if you...make a mistake with the girl today._

"Rose, I'm almost positive I can do this," I smiled. "And I appreciate your concern."

"Please Edward, be extremely careful," her voice broke off as she grinned mischievously.

"How much did you bet?" I asked. "And what did you bet?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Tell me or I'll mess up your hair," I teased and reached to tousle Rosalie's curls.

She giggled and moved out of my way quickly. It was nice to see her smile.

Alice soon joined us, carrying a shopping bag.

"What's up?"

"I was just wishing our dear brother good luck today," Rosalie grinned playfully at Alice.

"What is going on here?" I questioned. "What are the two of you up to? What's in the bag, Alice?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "What do you think? Clothes of course."

"That's right," Rosalie stated. "It's your first date. You have to look good."

I had been so engrossed in my writing that I had not paid attention to Rosalie and Alice's conversation about a makeover. Now I wished I had been listening harder.

"I don't need new clothes," I protested. "I have plenty of clothes!"

"Edward," Alice groaned. "This is your first date with Bella. You have to look amazing."

"Port Angeles does not count. You looked atrocious," Alice added.

"She's right, Edward," Rosalie spoke while taking the clothes out of the bag and lying them on the sofa. "So please be cooperative."

I groaned at the long tan sweater, white sleeveless shirt and jeans that Rosalie laid out. I sniffed the air and wrinkled my nose. I hate the smell of brand new clothes.

"We thought you should be casual since you'll be hiking. If she has any fashion sense, Bella will love you in this," Alice said, pointing at the clothes.

"Hurry and change so we can work on that hair," Rosalie ordered. She ushered Alice out of the bedroom, muttering something about me never having heard of a comb before.

I changed quickly then endured a frustrating half hour of Alice and Rosalie and a strange smelling hair substance that burned my nose. When they were done my hair looked exactly the same, like I'd rolled out of bed...if I had a bed.

Only the girls thought differently.

"Wow Edward," Rosalie whistled. "You clean up well."

"Are you two done playing dress up? Can I go now?"

"Hold on," Alice sighed. She gave me a once over and then smiled brightly. Obviously – hopefully – she was satisfied with my appearance.

"You may go."

Free at last, I took off down the stairs, barely hearing my family's snickers. Within minutes I was at Bella's doorstep. I knocked quietly, barely able to conceal my anxiety.

I heard Bella's footsteps on the stairs, then they hastened as she walked towards the door. She fumbled with the dead bolt and I chuckled to myself. Bella was nervous too.

The front door swung open. Bella's face was flushed, her breath short with excitement. Relief _or calm_ washed over her face when she gazed at me. She looked amazing. I felt better at once when I was near her.

"Good morning," I chuckled.

Bella stopped smiling. "What's wrong?" she asked, apprehensively.

"We match." Bella was wearing a tan sweater, white shirt, and blue jeans. I laughed because I was 100% sure that Alice had seen this and shopped accordingly.

Shaking her head, Bella locked the door while I waited by her truck. I still found it a hard to believe that I'd agreed to let her drive.

"We made a deal," Bella said smugly, reading the tortured expression on my face correctly.

"Where to?" she asked once we were in the truck.

"Put your seatbelt on," I advised. "I'm nervous already."

Bella shot me her best dirty look but obliged.

"Where to?"

"Take the one-oh-one north," I directed her. Being alone in the truck with Bella wasn't as difficult as I'd expected, even after not being near her for over twelve hours. I inhaled deeply, breathing in sharp bursts of her tantalizing scent, and tried...unsuccessfully...to ignore the burning in my throat as well as the rest of my body. On more than a few occasions Bella caught me staring at her.

But there was nothing else interesting to look at as we crawled up the road in her sluggish truck.

"Were you planning to make it out of Forks before nightfall?" I had to tease her. She had no idea how much riding at this slow pace pained me.

"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather – have some respect."

Soon, well as soon as could be expected, we were outside the city limits. Bella looked at me, her expression showed that she was wondering which way to go.

"Turn right on the one-ten." She did. I was getting good at this.

"Now we drive until the pavement ends," I instructed.

"And what's there, at the pavement's end?" Bella asked anxiously.

I hesitated to say. Knowing how clumsy Bella tended to be, she might not like my idea.

"A trail."

"We're hiking?" Bella glanced down at her feet. I knew I'd made her anxious.

"Is that a problem?"

"No," she answered slowly...worriedly.

"Don't worry," I tried to sound assuring. "It's only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry."

She didn't respond. In fact it was quite a few minutes before Bella said anything. I tried to read her facial expressions but it was useless. Her face was blank as she concentrated on driving.

"What are you thinking?"

"Just wondering where we're going." She didn't sound confident...deliberately not telling me everything.

I smiled. Bella is a horrible liar.

"It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice." We both glanced out the window at the thinning clouds.

"Charlie said it would be warm today."

"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?"

"Nope," Bella stated nonchalantly.

A sudden fury rose in me and I calmed myself. Of course she _wouldn't have_ told her father. Most teenage girls would not _dream_ of telling their father they were spending time alone with a boy. They would tell their _friends_ though.

"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?" I guessed.

"No. I told her you cancelled on me. Which is true," Bella added slowly.

"No one knows you're with me?" I couldn't keep the anger out of my voice.

"That depends," she answered. "I assume you told Alice."

"That's very helpful," I snapped but she pretended not to hear, keeping her eyes on the road.

"Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" I demanded to know. What was wrong with this girl? Had she no sense of self-preservation?

Bella pouted and glared at me for an instance.

"You said it might cause trouble for you...us being together publicly."

"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me – _if _you don't come _home_?"

Bella nodded.

_Edward, you are so awful,_ I admonished myself. _Have her turn around right now! _I uttered the words under my breath. But I could not say the words that would make Bella turn the truck around and go back to Forks. Even though I knew going back was the best plan..._the safe plan_...I wanted this time with her. I wanted Bella to see me for exactly I am, not the remarkable hero she made me out to be.

My mind raced back and forth on making the right decision. I knew that if Alice was watching –most likely she was – my indecision was driving her crazy. Then the decision was no longer mine to make.

We'd come to the end of the road...literally. It constricted to a thin foot trail with a small wooden marker. Bella parked on the narrow shoulder and stepped out of the truck. It was warm now and I watched as she pulled of her sweater and tied it around her waist. I did the same with mine even though I could have just left it in the truck. I didn't need it anyway. However, I did unbutton the shirt I was wearing, completely baring my arms and chest so that Bella would get the full affect of what I am.

I stared into the unbroken forest as I heard Bella approach. I glanced at her over my shoulder. The closer she came, the more I wanted her to get back in her decrepit old truck, and go back to Forks.

The closer she came the more I wanted her to follow me.

I was torn. In the end my selfishness won the argument.

"This way." I started walking towards the dark forest.

"The trail?" Panic was clear in Bella's soft voice as she hurried to catch up to me.

"I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it." I couldn't conceal the annoyance in my voice. Annoyed with myself for not being stronger and keeping myself away from this innocent girl.

"No trail?"

"I won't let you get lost."

I turned around to assure her that I would let no harm come to her but the expression on her face stopped the words from forming.

Bella looked terrified, like she had finally realized what she was doing. I had been expecting a similar reaction but not this soon. We weren't even in the woods yet and already she was afraid.

I should have been thankful...felt relieved that she had finally come to her senses...but I didn't. That feeling evaded me.

"Do you want to go home?" I asked, masking the hurt I felt.

"No." Bella stepped forward until she was by my side.

"What's wrong?"

The tortured expression reappeared. Damn! Why couldn't I just hear her?

"I'm not a good hiker," Bella answered. She seemed slightly...embarrassed. "You'll have to be very patient."

Patience was not one of my virtues so I could not contain my smile. She was not afraid of me. She was not repulsed by my bare stone chest and arms. She was afraid of _hiking_.

"I can be patient – if I make a great effort."

I looked at Bella, softening my eyes, purposely trying to make her comfortable again. She smiled weakly, still afraid. This was not a good idea. I had to do something. I could not allow her to follow me into the woods, feeling as scared as she was. Some other time. Bella was not ready.

"I'll take you home," I promised.

"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way," Bella stated acidly.

I was confused, a feeling that I did not feel often. And it was unsettling.

What was this? Was she _not_ afraid?

Bella stood staring impatiently at me. I did not understand what it was that she wanted. Finally I gave up and led the way into the forest.

Walking through the woods was just as hard for me as it was for Bella. My instinct was to run but I could not. Hiking thought the damp ferns and webs of moss with Bella was an exercise in patience.

Mostly the path was straight. Occasionally it took us over fallen trees or boulders and I'd have to help Bella maneuver over them. I did not want her falling down. Each time I touched her, I could hear her heart thud erratically. I limited these moments. It would not be good for Bella to have a heart attack in the middle of the forest.

We hiked in silence. Whenever we reached a smooth area I'd break the silence and ask a question. After all, it was still my turn. Bella did not hesitate to tell me about the birthdays she'd spent with her friends and her mother. She told me about her grade school teachers, even her childhood pets.

I laughed out loud when Bella, her face grave and serious, explained that after killing three fish in a row, she had pretty much given up on the idea of having a pet.

The hike seemed endless; walking so slow was a true testament of how much I wanted to be with this girl. The forest spread out around us like a green maze. After several hours, the forest began to waken, and lighten, as the sun finally broke through clouds.

"Are we there yet?" Bella asked, a playful scowl on her face.

"Nearly. Do you see the brightness ahead?"

Bella looked around and then glared at me. "Um...should I?"

For a brief moment I'd forgotten who I was with. "Maybe it's a bit soon for _your _eyes."

"Time to visit the optometrist," Bella uttered. I smirked.

We walked another hundred yards. It was then that Bella's eyes lit up with relief. She could see the lightening in the trees now. I fell back as she picked up her pace.

I watched Bella, from the edge of the meadow, still shadowed from the sunlight. The meadow, my quiet place, paled in comparison to Bella's beauty, however it was still an unbelievable place, like something from a fairy tale.

The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers of all colors. A small stream nearby filled the meadow with the sound of it babbling music. The sun was directly overhead, filling the small circle with buttery sunshine. Bella was entranced by the beauty of it all. I watched as she explored the meadow, the soft grass, the swaying flowers, and the warm air. Suddenly, she stopped and turned as she had just realized that I was no longer near her. She took a step towards me but I held up my hand.

I was about to do something that I had never done before. I was breaking a rule by showing Bella my true self. The moment I stepped out of the shadow of the trees both of our lives would be changed...forever. There was no turning back after this.

I took a deep breath. It was now or never. I could not let the terror of Bella's possible disgust stop me from doing this. She had to know. I owed it to her. With slow deliberate steps, I stepped from the shadows into the bright sun.


	2. Chapter 2 Confessions

14. Confessions

At first Bella couldn't react...couldn't even make her mouth form words...as she stared – eyes bright and wide –at me.

Hollywood had gotten it wrong again…she knew that now. The sun did not cause my kind to instantly burst into a smoldering pile of ashes. Instead, the sun glistened, radiated off of us, causing our skin to sparkle, like millions of tiny diamonds were embedded in our skin.

I stood in the sunlight, waiting for Bella to run away screaming in terror but she only stared. I'd never shown myself in the sunlight to any human before therefore I could not compare her reaction to anything I've known. It was an uncomfortable feeling. When I was sure that Bella was not going to flee into the forest and get lost, I moved away from her, to the center of the meadow and lay back on the grass.

The sun was warm...relaxing. I closed my eyes and lay perfectly still on the cool grass. Moments later Bella – still staring – sat down next to me, her chin resting on her knees. She never took her eyes off of me, even when I closed my eyes and begin to sing softly to myself.

We sat that way for hours...without sharing any words. The time I spent in the meadow was the closest thing to sleep that I ever got. Here it was quiet, no beings, human or otherwise, that I had to force myself to tune out. As if she understood, Bella remained quiet too.

I knew she was in shock. Who wouldn't be? She was sitting in the forest with a vampire that _literally_ sparkled in the sunlight. Every once in a while I would sneak a peak at her, the way the sun made the red in her hair stand out fascinated me. The sun, once again, sweetened Bella's scent.

I thought my kind were the only ones who could sit still for hours, not moving, lost in our thoughts but Bella was matching me, minute for minute. Her lovely brown eyes were wide in awe, as she marveled at the spectacle before her...instead of running away. I'd imagined Bella running, stumbling, eventually falling, in the woods...waiting for me to find her...to kill her.

Only she didn't run. Instead, she eased closer. Hesitantly, she reached – ever so slowly – and stroked the back of my hand. Her soft touch sent a warm tingling sensation to the core of my soul. She stared at my hand as she stroked my cool skin. I watched her and grinned.

"I don't scare you?" Curiosity got the best of me so I had to ask.

"No more than usual."

Bella smiled and inched closer. Her fingers trembled as she stretched out her had to trace the contours of my forearm with her fingertips. Her trembling fingers vibrated against my cold – hard as granite – skin. I closed my eyes.

"Do you mind?" Bella asked.

_Did I mind? _ There was nothing I wanted more at this very moment than Bella's hand caressing my arm.

"No. You can't imagine how that feels."

Her fingers were leaving a trail of warmth and desire over my arm. She worked her way down my cool skin to my elbows where her fingers gently caressed the veins, bluish and close to the skin. With her other hand she reached to turn my hand over. I flipped my palm up. I must have startled her, the movement was so fast and fluid – because her fingers froze, stuck to my arm for a brief second.

"Sorry," I murmured and closed my eyes again. "It's too easy to be myself with you."

Bella did not seem as disturbed as I was by this notion. Being too comfortable with her could lead to mistakes...mistakes that I could not afford to make.

All my restraint was almost lost as Bella lifted my hand and put it closer to her face. Even with my eyes closed I knew that she was feeling the same as I, completely and utterly confused.

I opened my eyes and watched her intently. I could not read her eyes. I'd never seen them look as they did now.

"Tell me what you're thinking," I whispered. "It's still so strange for me, not knowing."

"You know, the rest of us feel that way all the time."

"It's a hard life." Harder than Bella could ever imagine. "But you didn't tell me."

"I _was_ wishing I could know what you were thinking..." Bella's voice trailed off.

"And?"

"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid."

"I don't want you to be afraid." I didn't but there was no way I could expect Bella to _not_ be afraid. I wanted to be able to tell her that there was no reason to be afraid, there was nothing to fear, but we both knew that was not the truth.

"Well, that's not exactly the fear I meant," Bella explained, "though that's certainly something to think about."

Intrigued I sat up and propped myself up on my arm. My face was just a few inches from Bella's wholesome face. I gazed at her, wishing her to continue.

"What are you afraid of, then?" I whispered.

Bella didn't...or couldn't answer. A strange look came over her face. She leaned closer, so close that I could hear the blood rushing through her veins, her heart thumping hard. She inhaled deeply then exhaled. The scent, almost intoxicating, swirled around me, scattering my thoughts and I felt my muscles coil. I felt my instincts begin to take over. This was what I'd feared.

It took everything – every ounce of will power and self control – I had to flee from her. In an instant I was a good twenty feet away, breathing in fresh, untainted air and trying to compose myself from what almost happened.

"I'm...sorry...Edward," Bella whispered but I could hear her clearly.

"Give me a moment," I called, not wanting Bella to come near until I was sure I had regained my composure.

Finally I was able to take a few slow steps towards her but not as close I was before. That had been a mistake. I was so sorry. I knew Bella must have been terrified. And there was no excuse for my behavior. I'd asked her to come here with me, to risk her life to be with me for a few hours. I had no right to put her life in danger. But I had not expected her to get that close...to want to be that close to me. And the instincts I felt were not what I expected. It was different. It wasn't the need to feed. It was something else. It was desire. This revelation hit me like a ton of bricks.

I slumped to the ground and crossed my legs. My eyes never left Bella. She didn't look scared, which was a slight relief.

"I am so very sorry." I smiled in apology. "Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?"

Bella nodded, trying but not quite able to smile at my attempt to joke. Adrenaline pulsed through her veins. Like any other predator, I could smell the change in the air.

"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in – my voice, my face, even my _smell_. As if I need any of that!"

I was anxious now, anxious to prove to Bella that I was a monster. It was my choice to show her that nature my being. I leapt to my feet and ran, full speed, circling the meadow completely. I stopped when I reached the tree I'd fled to moments before.

"As if you could outrun me," I stated bitterly. Not even if she had the grace and speed of a track star, Bella would_ never_ be able to move as fast as I did.

In a final effort to make Bella fully aware of my power, I reached up – with one hand – and ripped a branch from the trunk of the spruce I was leaning against. I tossed the branch, shattering it against another huge tree. Then I walked back to Bella, hoping to have accomplished...something.

"As if you could fight me off," I said softly.

Bella sat, still as a statue, her breath coming in short ragged bursts. Her face was ashen eyes wide with the realization of what I was and the danger I possessed. Finally...Bella was afraid.

And it saddened me. Now that I'd succeeded in my mission I no longer wanted her to be afraid...of anything...ever again. Especially me.

"Don't be afraid. I promise..." not the right word. "I _swear _not to hurt you."

Bella still did not move. I now was afraid. Maybe my demonstration had been too much.

"Don't be afraid," I whispered, trying my hardest to wipe away the fear that I had caused.

I stepped forward, moving with exaggerated slowness until my face was about a foot away from hers.

"Please forgive me. I can control myself. You caught me off guard. But I'm on my best behavior now."

Still no sound, except the sound of Bella's heart thumping ferociously.

"I'm not thirsty today, honestly." Bella stared at me so I winked, hoping – praying – that she could see that everything was alright.

Then..._finally_...a laugh, though shaky and breathless escaped from Bella's mouth.

I reached out slowly, taking her hand in mine...or rather placing my hand _back_ in hers. I wanted her to see that everything was okay. I was calm.

"Are you alright?"

For an instance Bella stared at my hand, probably wondering what was wrong with me. When she looked me in my eyes I made sure they showed all of the remorse I felt for scaring her. She smiled timidly and my heart would have fluttered _if _it could. All was forgiven.

"So where were we, before I behaved so rudely?"

"I honestly can't remember."

Oops, I had done it again. My bright smile, my teeth flashing brilliantly in the sunlight, had dazzled her again.

"I think we were talking about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason."

"Oh right."

"Well?"

Again, Bella looked down at the hand she was holding, aimlessly drawing invisible circles and lines across my palm. The feeling was unexplainable but as the silent seconds ticked by, I felt more than a little frustrated with the fact that I could not hear what she was thinking...

Nor would she answer my question.

I sighed. "How easily frustrated I am."

Bella looked up, as if she figured out an unsolved riddle.

"I was afraid...because, for, well, the obvious reasons, I can't stay with you. And I'm afraid that I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should."

We shared the same fear. Only it was much more dangerous for Bella to _want_ to stay with _me_.

"Yes," I replied slowly. It was difficult for me to say this aloud, even though I had thought it hundreds of times. "That is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me. That's really not in your best interest."

Slowly, a sad frown stretched across Bella's milky white face. It seemed as nothing I said or did was the right thing with her.

"I should have left long ago," I spoke regrettably. "I should leave now. But I don't know if I can."

"I don't want you to leave."

"Which is exactly why I should. But don't worry. I'm essentially a selfish creature," I admitted. "I crave your company too much to do what I should."

"I'm glad!"

I withdrew my hand from hers, more gently this time.

"Don't be," I said, my voice sounding more harsh that I'd intended.

"It's not only your company I crave! Never forget _that_. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else." My voice broke as I stared into the forest, not seeing anything except red at my admission. I could feel Bella staring at me.

"I don't think I understand exactly what you mean – by that last part anyway."

I looked back at her, innocent and bemused expression and smiled. I know that the shifts in my mood were driving her crazy but it could not be helped. When I looked at her, felt her warmth, it caused a euphoric feeling to overcome me.

"How do I explain? And without frightening you again...hmmm." I pondered how I could explain. Without thinking, I found myself holding her hand again. She clutched it tightly, with both of her hands, as if belonged to her.

In many ways, it did.

"That's amazingly pleasant, the warmth."

A brief moment passed as I scrambled to put together the right explanation...a non threatening explanation.

"You know how everyone enjoys different flavors?" I began. "Some people love chocolate ice cream, others prefer strawberry?"

Bella nodded but the look on her face was drab.

"Sorry about the food analogy – I couldn't think of another way to explain."

This brought a smile to Bella's face and a quiet giggle. I smiled.

"You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he'd gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished, if he was a recovering alcoholic. Now let's say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac, and filled the room with its warm aroma – how do you think he would fare then?"

We sat noiselessly, looking into each other's eyes – trying to read each other's thoughts.

Bella didn't exactly understand my analogy so I tried a different approach.

"Maybe that's not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead."

A wave of understanding washed over Bella. She understood now.

"So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin?"

"Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin."

"Does that happen often?" Bella asked.

I looked across the treetops, remembering Emmett and Jasper.

"I spoke to my brothers about it. To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. He's the most recent to join our family. It's a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn't had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavor." Again with the food analogies. I glanced at Bella, apologetic.

"Sorry."

Bella shook her head, displeased at my reaction.

"I don't mind. Please don't worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. That's the way you think. I can understand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can."

I gazed at the sky, the sun was still beaming and I, of course, was still..._sparkling_.

"So Jasper wasn't sure if he'd ever come across someone as..._appealing_ as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the wagon longer, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once stronger than the other.

"And for you?" Bella questioned.

"Never," I ruefully answered.

The word hung in the warm breeze for a moment.

"What did Emmett do?" Bella asked softly.

Emmett's detailed memory of the woman in the orchard came rushing back to me. Her scent...his thirst...the memory overcame me and I clenched my fist. I would resist. Her fate would not be Bella's.

"I guess I know," Bella stated in response to my reaction.

"Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?"

Bella glared at me icily. "What are you asking me? My permission?"

No! No! No! I would never ask such a thing. She was mistaken.

"I mean, is there no hope then?" she asked, her voice much kinder, gentler. She was trying not to upset me.

"No! No! Of course there's hope!" There had to be. "I mean, of course I won't..." _Kill her? Hurt her?_ I left the sentence unfinished.

"It's different for us. Emmett...these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as...practiced, as careful, as he is now."

I watched as Bella listened to my words. Her eyes closed as she processed the words in her head.

"So if we'd met...oh, in dark alley or something..." Bella trailed off, the unspoken words we both already knew were loud and clear.

_If we'd met in a dark alley_...I shuddered at the idea. Bella was looking at me expectantly, waiting for an answer. And I could not..._would not_...lie to her.

"It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and..." I couldn't finish. It was horrifying to admit how much of a monster I felt that day.

That was one thing Bella did not have to know.

"When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last, well too many years, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself."

I glanced at her then. It was clear that she remembered that day just as well as I.

"You must have thought I was possessed."

"I couldn't understand why. How you could hate me so quickly..."

"To me," I explained, "it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin...I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow..."

I looked at Bella's staggered expression as she tried to absorb my bitter memories.

"You would have come," I stated matter of factly.

I had no doubts, especially now that I had a better understanding of her penance for dangerous things, she would have come.

"Without a doubt," she agreed. Bella knew herself well.

"And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there – in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there –so easily dealt with."

Although she tried to hide it, Bella shivered slightly. She remembered the small office space...the wild look in my eyes. But her eagerness to hear more, to know me for what I was, kept her engrossed in my confession.

"But I resisted. I don't know how," I admitted. "I forced myself not to wait for you, smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home – I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong – and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving."

Bella's eyes widened in surprise. Of course she would have noticed my absence but she had no idea that she was the cause behind it. She hadn't expected this part.

"I traded cars with him – he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare go home, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary.

"By the next morning I was in Alaska." I paused. It was truly difficult for me to admit how much of a coward I'd been.

"I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances...but I was homesick. I hated knowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them. My adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains, it was hard to believe you were so irresistible."

_Yes, irresistible was exactly the right word._ Bella stared on, intrigued by my tale...perhaps.

"I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong."

I grinned suddenly at Bella while I remembered my thoughts in the snowy mountains.

"Who were you, an insignificant little girl, to chase me from the place I wanted to be. So I came back..."

I paused again for a moment, still not believing I'd made the right decision.

"I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it.

"It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn't used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessica's mind." I frowned. "Her mind isn't very original. And, it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating."

I stopped for a moment, pausing to let our one sided conversation sink in. I was getting to the part that I knew would be the most difficult. Difficult for me to say and definitely difficult for Bella to hear. Would she accept my irrational feelings for her? Would she reciprocate?

"I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions....and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me again..."

Bella lowered her eyes, a positively alluring look of guilt on her face. She mumbled a sweet apology. I shook my head. It was not her fault.

"Of course," I continued, "then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at the moment – because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not her.'"

I closed my eyes, not wanting Bella to see the agony in them as that memory burned at me. Beyond that, this explaining..._confessing_ was much harder than I had imagined. Not only was this most likely the most terrifying horror story Bella had ever heard, it was a true story.

Bella took a deep breath. When I stole a glance at her the expression on her face kept changing. Terrified – which I had expected – then understanding, and finally a familiar expression that I often saw with Esme..._compassion._

"In the hospital?" Bella asked faintly.

My golden eyes reflected in Bella's chocolate brown ones. Her eyes were filled with unanswered questions which only made me want to speak more. No matter what the cost, she deserved to know...everything.

"I was appalled," I continued, "I couldn't believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power – you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you."

We both flinched as the word slipped out.

"But it had the opposite effect," I said quickly. "I fought with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time..." I stopped. I refused to let that word slip out again. "The worst fight we've ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice."

I felt my mouth slowly turn down into a grimace as I remembered Alice's vision....Bella with skin as pale as ours, blood red eyes...a newborn vampire...unchanging, wild and blood thirsty.

"Esme," I said, pushing the thought away quickly. Bella did not seem to notice.

"Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay."

The sounds of the meadow – the babbling brook, the warm breeze rustling the tree leaves – were like a song in my ears. They were the background music to my chilling tale, especially now that the really horrific part was coming to an end.

"All that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn't understand you at all. But I knew that couldn't become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair...it hit me as hard as the very first day."

My eyes met Bella's again. This time her eyes were surprisingly tender.

"And for all that, I'd have fared batter if I _had_ exposed us all that first moment, than if now...with no witnesses and nothing to stop me – I were to hurt you."

"Why?" Bella asked, curiosity taking over."

How could she not know, after all I had explained, after all I had revealed? Bella, sweet, innocent Bella, still had to ask why.

"Isabella," I breathed. I reached over with my free hand and playfully ruffled her long wind-tangled hair. "Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me." I looked down again...ashamed again.

"The thought of you, still, white, cold...to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses...it would be unendurable."

I lifted my eyes to her once again to see if she finally understood. If she could the read the intensity, the sincerity, the love in my eyes, in my expression.

"You are the most important thing to me now," I admitted softly. "The most important thing to me ever."

With my admission, our lopsided conversation had taken a different tone. I waited, somewhat impatiently, for Bella's response to my declaration.

Her face flushed a brilliant scarlet, her heart beat faster, her breathing slightly shallow as she looked down at our hands, still entwined.

"You already know how I feel, of course," she finally said. "I'm here...which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you."

She frowned. "I'm an idiot."

Her frown did not match her words. Though I shouldn't have, I rejoiced in her declaration.

"You _are_ an idiot," I agreed with a laugh. Our eyes met then and Bella laughed too. Together we chuckled at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of such a moment.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..." I looked away, staring into the shadowy forest.

"What a stupid lamb," Bella sighed.

"What a sick, masochistic lion." There were no truer words spoken. It was crazy to be in love with a _human_...such a farfetched notion. I was insane to subject either of us to this, however, it could not be helped.

"Why..." Bella's voice interrupted my thoughts.

I looked at her, small, pale, beautiful...mine, and smiled.

"Yes?"

"Tell me why you ran from me before."

"You know why."

"No," she insisted. "I mean, _exactly_ what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do. This, for example," – she casually caressed the back of my hand – "seems to be alright."

I smiled again. In my ninety years of vampire existence I don't believe I've ever smiled so much.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault."

"But I want to help," she insisted. "If I can, to not make his harder for you."

I contemplated what she said and how to explain.

"Well...it was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alieness...I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your _throat_," I stopped short, looking to see if I'd upset her again. I hadn't. Bella smiled and tucked her chin.

"Okay then. No throat exposure."

I chuckled at her coyness.

"No really, it was more the surprise than anything else."

Gently, ever so slightly, I raised my hand and placed it on the side of Bella's neck. She sat perfectly still. I felt her blood racing...the thudding pulse in her veins. My throat burned, venom filled my mouth but still I resisted. I would not give into temptation. As my resolved strengthened, the burning sensation became easier to ignore.

"You see...perfectly fine."

A deep blush flushed quickly over Bella's cheeks.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely," I murmured as I freed my other hand from her now loose grip. Softly I brushed her cheek. Her velvety skin was blazing under my touch.

I wanted to be closer to her, as close to her as she'd come to me. There was no danger...I was no danger to her at that very moment. I was strong enough to resist. I held her fragile face between my lethal hands.

"Be very still," I whispered. I had to concentrate. No distractions. Slowly, never taking my eyes off hers in case her expression became terrified, I leaned towards her. Then gently, I rested my cheek against the hollow at the base of her throat.

I kept my breathing even, despite the yearning sensation burning through my body. This closeness was more than I'd ever imagined I would ever feel, ever imagined I deserved.

With deliberate slowness, I slid my hands down the sides of her neck, feeling the throbbing of her pulse beneath my fingertips.

Bella shivered and I caught my breath. My skin was hard and cold against hers, which was warm and soft. She would be repulsed. She would be terrified.

A soft moan escaped from Bella's mouth that silenced my thoughts. She was not repulsed by my closeness. She was not afraid.

I moved my head to the side, brushing my nose across her collarbone. I stopped when the side of my face was pressed against her chest, listening to her thudding heart.

"Ah," I sighed, knowing I could not describe what I was feeling this very moment.

And so we sat...without moving. I wrapped Bella in my arms, holding her, listening to her quiet breath. Eventually the throb of her pulse evened out. Minutes passed in silence. Too soon, I released her, and sat up.

"It won't be so hard again," I said with satisfaction.

"Was that very hard for you?"

"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be," I spoke truthfully. "And you?"

"No, it wasn't bad...for me." Bella answered.

I heard the inflection, the underlying tone and grinned. "You know what I mean."

Bella smiled as I took her hand and placed it against my own cheek, where being so close, so tempted, had warmed my skin.

"Here, do you feel how warm it is?"

Bella nodded. I was perplexed. I was used to feeling slightly warmer just after feeding, but never this much. I'd have to discuss this new feeling with Carlisle.

"Don't move," Bella whispered.

No one can be as still as a vampire. I sat like a statue as Bella moved her hands, even more slowly than I had, caressing my cheek with her warm fingertips. I closed my eyes at her slight touch. She ran her fingers across my eyelids, then my nose, and finally my lips. So brave, she was, coming so dangerously close to a vampire's teeth.

Too soon, Bella leaned away. My eyes opened. New, different, sensations were coursing through every inch of my body.

"I wish," I whispered. "I wish you could feel the complexity...the confusion...I feel. That you could understand."

I raised my hand to her hair, feeling the silky softness of it, then carefully brushed it across her face.

"Tell me."

"I don't think I can. I've told you, on the one hand, the hunger – the thirst – that deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though," – I had to grin – "as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't empathize completely.

"But," I touched her lips, making her shiver again. "There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me."

"I may understand _that_ better than you."

"I'm not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?"

"For me?" Bella paused as if the very idea was absurd. "No, never. Never before this."

I held Bella's hands between mine. They felt so fragile...so breakable. Her admission of never having these feelings before set me at ease. I wasn't the only one. But being so close, so intimate was hard for me.

"I don't know how to be close to you," I admitted to her. "I don't know if I can."

Bella leaned forward, cautioning me with her eyes. She placed her warm cheek against my chest. I took slow even breaths but the loathsome feeling I felt knowing that while I was in the same position, I'd been able to hear every beat of her heart, the rush of blood being pushed through her veins. But with her head against my hollow stone chest, the only thing Bella would hear was the air in my lung as I breathed.

"This is enough," Bella sighed, closing her eyes.

I held her in my arms as close as possible, burying my face in her hair, inhaling her fiery scent. Would this be enough?

"You're better at this than you give yourself credit for," Bella stated.

"I have human instincts – they may be buried deep, but they are there."

We sat motionless, her in my arms. The light was fading, the shadows of the forest beginning to edge closer...still neither of us moved. Bella sighed deeply. I wondered if Bella was as unwilling to let me go as I was her. But she'd been with me – alone, in my world – long enough.

"You have to go," I said, knowing her father would be home soon.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind."

"It's getting clearer," I spoke, unable to stop the euphoric feeling that possessed me, knowing I'd guessed correctly.

It was time to go, much later than I'd expected. We wouldn't have time to hike back to the truck, espeicaly with the way Bella hiked. I placed my hands lightly on her shoulders and she returned my gaze.

"Can I show you something?"

"Show me what?" Bella asked carefully.

"I'll show you how I travel in the forest." Her expression turned fearful.

"Don't worry, you'll be very safe and we'll get to your truck much faster." I smiled at her then I frowned at the sound of her heart beating at a rapid pace.

"Will you turn into a bat?" Bella questioned me warily.

I burst out laughing. Usually the Hollywood stereotypes irked me to the core but coming from Bella, it was adorable.

"Like I haven't heard_ that_ one before."  
"Right, I'm sure you get that all the time."

"Come on, little coward," I teased, "Climb on my back."

Bella made no move to do as I instructed. I grinned at her unnecessary fear and slung her onto my back. She clamped her legs and arms tightly around me, using all of her meager strength.

"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack," Bella warned me.

"Ha!" I practically snorted and rolled my eyes. She was as light as a feather.

I grabbed her hand quickly, pressing her palm to my face. I needed to be aware of her. I couldn't see her and I could barely feel her on my back. I needed her scent. I held her scent in my nose for a few seconds. It burned but I was becoming used to it.

"Easier all the time," I muttered.

Then I took off running.

I streaked through the dark thick underbrush, like a bullet...effortless. I felt exhilarated. Running always made me feel better.

Too soon it was over and we were back at Bella's truck.

"Exhilarating, isn't it?" I asked when we were beside the truck.

I waited for Bella to climb down off my back, excited. She must have felt like she was on a roller coaster. But she didn't move. Her arms and legs stayed locked around my waist...frozen in shock.

"Bella?" I asked anxiously.

"I think I need to lie down," Bella gasped.

This surely was not the reaction I was expecting.

"Oh...sorry." Still she didn't move.

"I think I need help," Bella said.

A quiet laugh escaped my lips as I unloosened Bella's death grip on my neck. Then I pulled her around to face me, cradling her small fragile body in my arms like I've seen people cradle babies. I gazed at Bella who was trying to catch her breath and calm herself.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Dizzy, I think."

"Put your head between your knees," I instructed. I'd seen Carlisle advise many of his patients to do the same in order not to hyperventilate. I was surprised to see that she followed my advice. I sat beside her, anxiously waiting to see if she was going to be alright. Eventually she raised her head.

"I guess that wasn't the best idea," I uttered.

"No, it was very...interesting," Bella lied weakly.

"Ha! You're as white as a ghost – no you're as white as me!"

"I think I should have closed my eyes."

"Remember that next time."

"Next time!" She groaned and I had to laugh again. Her anxiety over such a little issue as running in the forest was endearing.

"Show off."

I leaned forward, my face dangerously close to hers again. I could feel her sweet breath warming my skin.

"Open your eyes, Bella." She did. "I was thinking, while I was running..."

"About not hitting the trees, I hope."

"Silly Bella, running is second nature to me. It's not something I have to think about."

"Show off," Bella mumbled again.

Truthfully I wasn't thinking of anything else as I was running except the girl on my back.

All afternoon the experience of being with Isabella Swan had awaken my human instincts, brought them closer to the surface than they had been in almost a century.

The affect of Bella's closeness caused me to feel something that I thought had long died in me. For the first time in a _very_ long time, I felt like a seventeen year old boy..._with typical teenage boy's thoughts and desires_. For the few minutes that I was running, all I could think of was how much I wanted to kiss Bella. To feel her lips pressed against mine. It was almost too impossible of a thought to grasp.

_I was a vampire who wanted to make out with his human girlfriend._

All the same, no matter how ridiculous it was, it was what I wanted. I only hoped that I could do it.

So, I swallowed hard and grinned at my..._girlfriend_.

"No, I was thinking there was something I wanted to try."

I raised my hands and held her face close to mine.

Bella stopped breathing.

It was actually a good thing. The fact that she hadn't taken a breath, enveloping me in her scent while I was so close actually helped.

I leaned closer until my lips were pressed softly against hers.

Instantly, my muscles tightened, ready to pull her closer to me in a deadly vampire embrace, as my nostrils inhaled her scent. If it could have, my heart would have been racing. Bella's lips against mine was the most amazing feeling that I'd ever felt.

I was _kissing_ her!

The only time I'd gotten this close to a human, my teeth were at their throat, effectively ending their life. Of course that was still a possibility...one that I remarkably held in check. I was doing a good job of controlling my instincts but I couldn't help the other feelings I felt as my lips moved slightly against hers.

I was not prepared for Bella's reaction.

Every feeling I felt had manifested itself in Bella. Her blood seemed to boil, increasing the warmth emanating from her skin. Her breaths came in short wild gasps. Her hands tangled themselves in my hair, pulling me closer.

It was too much. My willpower wasn't that strong.

I made every muscle in my body tense and held my breath, becoming a stone statue in her arms. It was easier to be very still if I couldn't smell Bella's hormones raging out of control. I pushed her face away from mine. She opened her eyes, wide with teenage lust. She calmed instantly when she saw my guarded expression.

"Oops."

"That's an understatement," I replied.

I needed to release her, to take a moment away from her to calm down but I didn't. I needed to learn how to calm myself without running away.

"Should I...?" Bella started to ask, trying to move away.

"No, it's tolerable. Wait for a moment, please." The last thing I needed was Bella moving, swirling the air around her.

We sat silent and very still, eyes locked on each other. Finally my control dominated my instincts.

"There," I said, pleased that I was completely in control again.

"Tolerable?" Bella asked.

I laughed. "I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know."

"I wish I could say the same," Bella stated regretfully. "I'm sorry."

"You _are_ only human, after all."

"Thanks so much," was her sarcastic reply.

I stood up and reached for Bella's hand. I hadn't been expecting to be able to touch her again, so soon, but my hand acted involuntarily. She accepted the gesture. Her balance had not yet returned.

"Are you still faint from the run...or was it my kissing expertise?" I joked. I _didn't_ have kissing expertise.

"I can't be sure, I'm still woozy." Bella weakly responded. "I think it's some of both though."

"Maybe you should let me drive?" But the idea of sitting behind the wheel of that truck made me cringe.

"Are you insane?" Bella protested.

"I can drive better than you on your best day," I teased. "You have much slower reflexes."

This was new, joking and teasing with Bella. I felt more human, more like a teenager, than I'd ever felt. I _could_ do this. I _could_ be with Bella, be myself with her, and control myself. This new feeling was the second best thing I'd experienced today.

"I'm sure that's true," Bella stated, "but I don't think my nerves or my truck could take it."

"Some trust, please, Bella."

In an adorable way, Bella pursed her lips and shook her head.

"Nope. Not a chance."

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. Bella was being so rebellious...so unreasonable. Especially since she could not even walk straight. I tightened my arm around her waist so she wouldn't fall as she tried to walk to the driver's side of the truck.

"Bella, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk."

"Drunk?"

"You're intoxicated by my very presence," I grinned playfully.

Bella sighed defeatedly. "I can't argue with that."

She held her truck key high in the air then let it fall. I caught it in mid-air.

"Take it easy," Bella ordered. "My truck is a senior citizen."

"Very sensible." I was no Rosalie when it came to cars but I had a perfectly good idea what would happen if I tried to drive my way.

"And are you not affected at all...by _my_ presence?"

Bella seemed irritated by my quick recovery. Of course I hadn't recovered at all. The need to touch her, to be close to her overwhelmed me.

I bent my face to her and slowly brushed my lips along her jaw, from her ear to chin. I felt her tremble slightly.

"Regardless," I murmured. "I have better reflexes."

I climbed quickly into the cab of the truck. I didn't want Bella aware of _my _slight intoxication.


	3. Chapter 3 Mind over Matter

15. Mind Over Matter

I drove Bella's truck with ease – surprisingly – one handed, my other hand placed firmly in Bella's. I barely saw the road. I knew it like the back of my hand. Sometimes I gazed into the setting sun – this twilight was much better than any other I'd ever experienced – but mostly I gazed at Bella, her face, her hair billowing in the air from the open window.

I was at peace, driving along slowly, listening to an oldies station on the truck's outdated radio. I laughed when I thought of what my brothers' reaction would be to such an inferior sound system.

"You like fifties music?" Bella asked when she noticed me singing along to the song that was playing.

"Music in the fifties was good," I answered. "Much better than the sixties or the seventies, ugh!"

I detested hippie music and rock and roll, though it was Alice and Rosalie's favorite. We are an eclectic bunch, us Cullens. While Alice and Rosalie favored rock & roll, Emmett was going through a hip-hop phase. Jasper favors more contemporary rock. Thankfully Carlisle and Esme share my love of the classics.

"The eighties were bearable," I added.

"Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?" Bella asked.

I had purposely not divulged my actual age, unwilling to share that much.

"Does it matter much?" I asked, hoping that it did not.

"No, but I still wonder." Bella grimaced. "There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to keep you up at night."

There was a reason why Bella was intrigued about my age. I couldn't help but to wonder why it kept her up at night.

I gazed into the sun, thinking that I'd never shared so much of myself with anyone before and if all of Bella's amazement was just an act. Sure we practically declared our love and devotion to each other not even an hour ago but surely there was something I would say to make her change her mind, if she kept probing for answers.

"I wonder if it will upset you," I stated, still gazing out the window while Bella contemplated if she really wanted to know. I wondered if I could tell her no if she asked to hear about my life before my change. Probably not. But I would try not to tell the story that I barely even remembered.

Human memories are quite vague to my kind. Some of us, like Alice, have no human memories at all. As we get older only our vampire memories remain crystal clear.

The minutes passed before either of us spoke.

"Try me," Bella finally said, completely confident in her decision.

I sighed while looking into Bella's profound eyes. They reflected her confidence in her decision. I had no choice but to tell her.

"I was born in Chicago in 1901." I paused and glanced at her from the corner of my eyes. Her face was carefully unsurprised; though I knew she wasn't expecting that answer and was trying, with all her might, to suppress her surprise.

"Carlisle found me in a hospital in the summer of 1918. I was seventeen, and dying of the Spanish influenza."

Bella took a sharp breath. I looked down at her again. She quickly composed herself, her eyes begging me to continue.

"I don't remember it well – it was a very long time ago, and human memories fade." Not all of them fade though. I still remembered my parents and I tried every day to hold onto those memories.

"I do remember how it felt, when Carlisle saved me. It's not an easy thing, not something you could forget."

"Your parents?" Bella probed.

"They had already died from the disease. I was alone. That was why he chose me. In all the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone."

"How did he...save you?" Bella asked softly.

A few seconds passed before I was able to answer. I had to choose my words carefully. I did not want her to think, for even a second, that Carlisle was a monster. He'd never been.

"It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint necessary to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us...I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history.

"For me, it was merely very, very painful." I stopped when I glanced at the contemplative look on Bella's face. I could see what she was thinking and I did not want her to _even_ consider that one day she might have to go through what I did. I would say no more about my transformation procedure.

"He acted from loneliness," I said, bringing the story back to Carlisle. "That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating."

That wasn't exactly Esme's story. I'd heard many times that she _jumped_ from that cliff and I was there the night they brought her in to the hospital, broken and barely alive. But it wasn't my story to tell and after such a beautiful day, Bella didn't deserve to be sad.

"So you must be dying, then, to become..." Bella had never called me a vampire, never uttered the word and hesitated to do so now.

"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice. It is easier he says, though, if the blood is weak."

I looked at the road. It was dark now and we were nearing Forks.

"And Emmett and Rosalie?"

"Carlisle brought Rosalie to our family next. I didn't realize until much later that he was hoping she would be to me what Esme was to him – he was careful with his thoughts around me." I rolled my eyes at the notion of being _like that _with Rosalie.

"But she was never more than a sister. It was only two years later that she found Emmett. She was hunting – we were in Appalachia at the time – and found a bear about to finish him off. She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid she wouldn't be able to do it herself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for her." I threw a pointed glance in Bella's direction, hoping she noticed. I raised our hands, still folded together and brushed her cheek. She looked away bashfully.

"But she made it..."

"Yes. She saw something in his face that made her strong enough. And they've been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school." I laughed again, remembering the look on Rosalie's face when it was decided that we'd go to high school here. She'd prefer college over high school any day.

"I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years, _again_." Bella would probably enjoy seeing Rose and Emmett tie the knot again. Nobody puts together a more beautiful wedding than Alice and Esme Cullen.

"Alice and Jasper?" Bella asked, causing me to refocus.

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, without outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another...family, a _very _different kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered off on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind."

"Really?" Bella interrupted, obviously fascinated by this. Most people are fascinated by Alice.

"But you said you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts."

"That's true," I answered. "She knows other things. She _sees_ things – things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change."

"What kinds of things does she see?"

_She saw you becoming one of us..._ was what I was thinking but there's no way I'd ever tell Bella that. She was so intrigued and curious, she probably want it to happen.

"She saw Jasper and knew he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example, when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose."

"Are there a lot of...your kind?"

"No, not many." I didn't want to scare her. "But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting you people, can live together with humans for any length of time. We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live...differently tend to band together."

"And the others?"

"Nomads, for the most part. We've all lived that way at times. It gets tedious, like anything else. But we run across the others now and then, because most of us prefer the North."

"Why is that?"

I pulled the truck to a stop in front of Bella's house and turned off the truck. It was quiet and dark; there was no moon. The porch light was off indicating that Charlie had not returned home from his fishing trip yet.

"Did you have your eyes open this afternoon?" I asked. "Do you think I could walk down the street in the sunlight without causing traffic accidents? There's a reason why we chose the Olympic Peninsula, one of the most sunless places in the world. It's nice to be able to go outside in the day. You wouldn't believe how tired you can get of nighttime in eighty-odd years."

"So that's where the legends come from?" Bella asked, finally putting it all together.

"Probably."

"And Alice came from another family, like Jasper?"

"No and that _is_ a mystery. Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away, and none of us understand why, or how, he could. If she hadn't had that other sense, if she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle and known that she would someday become one of us, she probably would have turned into a total savage."

Out of nowhere, before she could ask another question, a strange grumbling sound came from Bella's stomach. I realized what it was before she did.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm keeping you from dinner."

"I'm fine, really," she argued. But I could see the hunger in her eyes.

"I've never spent so much time around anyone who eats food," I admitted. "I forget."

"I want to stay with you," Bella said softly.

I didn't want our day to end so soon either. Maybe it didn't have to. I had an idea.

"Can't I come in?"

"Would you like to?" Bella's eyes sparkled with excitement.

"Yes, if it's alright." I got out of the car and was at the passenger door opening it for her before she could blink.

"Very human," Bella joked.

"It's definitely resurfacing." Vampire or not, I had not forgotten how to be a gentleman.

I reached the door ahead of Bella and used the hidden key to open it. She paused halfway through the frame.

"The door was unlocked?"

"No, I used the key from under the eave."

Bella stepped inside, flicked on the porch light, and turned to look at me with her eyebrows raised. I read the question in her eyes.

"I was curious about you," I confessed.

"You spied on me?"

"What else is there to do at night," I answered, unapologetic.

I led the way into the kitchen, remembering Alice's warning of not acting too familiar in Bella's home.

_Oh well, too late._

I sat at the kitchen table watching Bella fix her food. She warmed up a plate of what I knew to be lasagna and I wondered if she made it or was it store bought. I knew that Bella had to do most of the cooking when she lived with her mother, but that didn't mean that she was a good cook and lasagna looked to be a complicated dish.

Soon the kitchen was filled with the aroma of tomatoes and oregano, and I knew from the smell that it was not a frozen lasagna, like they served in the high school. Bella was a good cook.

Bella stared at the rotating platter in the microwave.

"How often?" she asked casually.

"Hmmm?"

"How often do you come here?"

"I come here almost every night."

Bella whirled around, stunned. "Why?"

"You're interesting when you sleep. You talk."

"NO!" Bella sounded outrageously embarrassed. She blushed deeply and gripped the kitchen counter. She was upset.

"Are you very angry with me?" If she was, I knew that I would stop – even though it pained me to think about – coming here at night.

"That depends," she said forcefully.

"On?"

"What you heard!"

I walked to her side, taking her hands carefully in mine.

"Don't be upset," I pleaded. I dropped my face to be eye level with her. She tried to look away but was unsuccessful. I wasn't trying to dazzle her. I just wanted her to see how sincere I was.

"You miss your mother," I whispered. "You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said, 'It's too green.""

"Anything else?" Bella demanded.

I knew she what she meant. She must dream about me often because the look in her eyes told me that I'd better tell her _everything_ I'd heard.

"You did say my name," I admitted.

Bella sighed. "A lot?"

"How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"

"Oh no," Bella muttered and hung her head.

I puller her against my chest, softly, as if it was the most natural thing.

"Don't be self-conscious," I whispered in her ear. "If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it."

Then we both heard the sound of tires on the brick driveway, saw the headlights flash through the front windows, down the hall to us. Bella stiffened in my arms and I knew that she'd never had a boy over, at least never in front of her father, maybe even her mother.

"Should your father know I'm here?" I asked.

"I'm not sure..."

"Another time then..."

I released her from my arms and in a flash I was out of the kitchen, down the hall, and up the stairs.

"Edward!" Bella hissed.

I chuckled softly from the top of the stairs and went to wait in her room. I'd done enough eavesdropping on Bella and Charlie's morning conversations that I didn't feel the need to listen very hard to this one. Instead I laid across Bella's bed and pulled out my cell phone. Quietly, I dialed Alice's phone number.

"Edward," she squealed. "Where are you?"

"I'm at Bella's. But you already knew that," I answered. "What's going on over there?"

Alice sighed. "Everybody's trying to get me to tell them what happened today with you and Bella but I won't. I told them that you'll tell us on your own. All they need to know is that Rosalie and I won the bet."

"Rosalie betted that I wouldn't hurt her?" I was flabbergasted. Surely, I thought she would have taken Emmett and Jasper's side.

"You know how much Rose likes to win," Alice stated. "She would never bet against me."

"Yeah, I should have thought of that."

"Are you coming home tonight?"

I hadn't planned on it. But I could tell from Alice's pleading voice that I needed to. My family would want to hear the details of my day. Plus I wanted to talk to Carlisle.

"Yes, after she is asleep."

"I'll see you then. I have to go now. Rose wants to go to the movies. I told her I would go with her."

"Goodbye Alice. See you later."

I hung up the phone just in time to hear Bella treading slowly up the steps, faking for Charlie's sake. She shut the bedroom door and sprinted on her tiptoes to the window. She had not even noticed that I was in the room. She threw open the window and leaned out.

"Edward," she whispered.

I laughed quietly at her unawareness. "Yes?"

She whirled around, one hand flying to her throat in surprise.

"Oh!" she sank unsteadily, as usual, to the floor.

"I'm sorry," I said, pressing my lips together to keep from laughing.

"Just give me a minute to restart my heart."

I sat up on the bed slowly, as not to startle her again. Then I leaned forward and reached out to pick her up from the floor. I sat her on the bed beside me.

"Why don't you sit with me," I suggested. I placed my hand on top of hers lightly. I could feel her pulse racing.

"How's the heart?"

"You tell me – I'm sure you hear it better than I do."

My quiet laughter shook the bed then we both sat silent for a minute, listening to her heartbeat until it slowed.

"Can I have a minute to be human?" Bella asked. I didn't know exactly what she meant but it did not matter. As long as I was with her, Bella could have all the moments she needed.

"Certainly." I gestured with one hand for her to proceed with whatever she needed to do.

"Stay," Bella ordered, trying to look severe, a look that was tarnished by the smile in her eyes.

"Yes ma'am," I teased and sat still on the bed like a statue.

I did watch as Bella hopped up, grabbed a pile of clothes from off the floor, and what I assumed was a bag of toiletries off the desk. My sisters and Esme had similar bags. Bella slipped out of the room and closed the door. I heard water running, then the shower.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and I guess that it would be one of my brothers. I didn't answer. I knew what the topic of conversation would be and it could wait. I heard the shower stop at that moment and listened to hear what was going on in the Chief's head downstairs when I heard Bella descend down the steps.

"Night, Dad," she said.

_I guess I was wrong. She looks like she's in for the night. But then again, she is a teenager and they're known for their tricks. I'll still be on guard._

"Night, Bella."

Bella bounded up the steps and I hoped that she would not fall and hurt herself. How could I explain myself to Charlie if I showed up at the hospital? Bella entered the bedroom and closed the door behind her. I assessed her appearance, taking in her damp hair, the holey t-shirt, and sweatpants.

"Nice."

Bella grimaced. She probably thought I was being funny. But she was gorgeous...so natural.

"No, it looks good on you," I tried to reassure her.

"Thanks," she whispered. She came back to my side, sitting cross-legged on the bed beside me, staring at the floor.

"What was all that for?" I asked, curious about her conversation with her father.

"Charlie thinks I'm sneaking out."

"Oh. Why?"

"Apparently, I look a little overexcited."

I lifted her chin, examining her face.

"You look very warm, actually." I bent my face slowly to hers, laying my cheek against her skin. She was very warm.

"Mmmmm..."

"It seems to be...much easier for you, now to be close to me," Bella stated, more of a question rather than a question.

"Does it seem that way to you?" I murmured, my nose gliding to the corner of her jaw. I brushed back her damp hair so that I could kiss her ear.

"Much, much easier," she answered, struggling to exhale.

"Hmm."

"So I was wondering..." she began again. My fingers were slowly tracing her collarbone. It was an amazing feeling, being able to touch her, to be so close to her. I could hear her heart beat a little faster and I knew that she was feeling something similar to what I was feeling at the moment. It appeared that Bella had lost her train of thought.

"Yes?" I urged her to continue.

"Why is that," her voice shook a little, "do you think?"

I laughed. "Mind over matter."

Instantly Bella pulled back; as she moved, I froze and caught my breath. The temptation was stronger when she stirred the air around her.

We stared cautiously at each other for a moment.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, puzzled by her reaction. Usually it was me who pulled back.

"No – the opposite. You're driving me crazy," she explained.

I considered that for a moment.

"Really?" A triumphant smiled eased across my face.

"Would you like a round of applause?" Bella asked sarcastically.

I grinned.

"I'm pleasantly surprised," I clarified. "In the last hundred years or so, I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe I would ever find someone I wanted to be with...in another way than my brothers and sisters. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it...at being with you..."

"You're good at everything," Bella stated.

I shrugged. It probably did appear that way to her. We both laughed in whispers.

"But how can it be so easy now?" she pressed. "This afternoon..." her voice trailed off.

"It's not _easy_," I sighed. "But this afternoon, I was still...undecided. I am sorry about that, it was unforgivable for me to behave so."

"Not unforgivable," she disagreed.

"Thank you." I smiled. Bella was so forgiving, despite the fact that I probably didn't deserve it.

"You see," I continued, looking down, "I wasn't sure if I was strong enough..."

I picked up one of her hands and pressed it lightly to my face, feeling her warmth. "And while there was still that possibility that I might be...overcome" – I breathed in the scent of her wrist – "I was...susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I was strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would...that I ever could..."

I'd never struggled so hard for words. It was so...human.

"So there's no possibility now?"

"Mind over matter," I repeated, smiling.

"Wow, that was easy," Bella said.

I threw back my head and laughed, quietly. _Easy for who?_

"Easy for _you_!" I amended, touching her nose with my fingertip.

"I'm trying," I whispered, my voice pained. "If it gets to be...too much, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave."

Bella scowled. She didn't like when I spoke of leaving.

"And it will be harder tomorrow," I continued. "I've had the scent of you in my head all day, and I've grown amazingly desensitized. If I'm away from you for any length of time, I'll have to start over again. Not quite from scratch, though, I think."

"Don't go away, then," she responded, unable to hide the longing in her voice.

I _would _stay as long as it suited her, as long as she wanted me. I'd do whatever I could to please Bella.

"Bring on the shackles," I joked. "I'm your prisoner." I laughed again, thinking that I'd never laughed so much in my life. Esme would be so pleased.

"You seem more...optimistic than usual," Bella observed too. "I haven't seen you like this before."

"Isn't it supposed to be like this?" I asked. "The glory of first love, and all that. It's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?"

"Very different," Bella agreed. "More forceful than I'd imagined."

"For example," – my words flowed swiftly now. I was much more comfortable talking about my feelings and newfound emotions than before – "the emotion of jealousy. I've read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and movies. I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me..." I grimaced at a suppressed memory. "Do you remember the day that Mike asked you to the dance?"

Bella nodded. "The day you started talking to me again?"

I was surprised she remembered it that way. I suppose it was a monumental occasion.

"I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury, that I felt – I didn't recognize what it was at first. I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn't know what you were thinking, why you refused him. Was it simply for your friend's sake? Was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way, I _tried_ not to care.

"And then the line started forming," I chuckled remembering Tyler and Eric. Bella scowled in the darkness.

"I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn't deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn't be sure.

"That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was _right_, moral, ethical, and what I _wanted_. I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, until you were gone, that someday you would say yes to Mike, or someone like him. It made me angry.

"And then," I whispered, recalling the moment as it were yesterday, "as you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly, at first I though you'd woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn't ignore you any longer." I was silent for a moment, listening to the sudden uneven pounding of Bella's heart, remember how I felt like my heart had started beating again, that night.

"But jealousy...it's a strange thing," I spoke again. "So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational! Just now, when Charlie asked you about that vile Mike Newton..." I shook my head angrily. I hadn't meant to give away that I'd been listening. Even though I hadn't paid much attention to the conversation – I was on the phone – I heard Charlie mention Mike.

"I should have known you'd be listening," Bella groaned.

"Of course."

"_That_ made you jealous, though, really?"

"I'm new at this; you're resurrecting the human in me, and everything feels stronger because it's fresh."

"But honestly," Bella teased, "for that to bother you, after I have to hear that Rosalie – Rosalie, the incarnation of pure beauty, _Rosalie_ – was meant for you. Emmett or no Emmett, how can I compete with that?"

"There's no competition," I assured her. I placed her hands around me, holding her to my chest.

"I know there's no competition," she mumbled. "That's the problem." Still so insecure for no fathomable reason.

"Of course Rosalie _is _beautiful in her way, but even if she wasn't like a sister to me, even if Emmett didn't belong with her, she could never have one tenth, no, one hundredth of the attraction you hold for me.

"For almost ninety years I've walked among my kind and yours...all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet."

"It hardly seems fair," Bella whispered, her face still resting on my chest. "I haven't had to wait at all. Why should I get off so easily?"

"You're right," I agreed with amusement. "I should make this harder for you, definitely." I freed one of my hands, releasing her wrist, only to gather it carefully into my other hand.

"You only have to risk your life every second you spend with me, that's surely not much. You only have to turn your back on nature, on humanity...what's that worth?"

"Very little – I don't feel deprived of anything."

"Not yet. My voice was full of ancient grief though I tried not to be so pessimistic.

Bella tried to pull back, to look in my face but I didn't want her to see my grief so I held her wrists in place.

Then I heard footsteps approaching the room. Charlie was coming to check on his daughter, still suspicious from earlier.

"What –" Bella started to ask but it was too late. I released her hand and disappeared behind the rocking chair in the corner. Even Bella couldn't see me in the darkness.

"Lie down," I hissed.

Bella quickly caught on and rolled under her quilt, balling up on her side, the way she usually slept. The door cracked open, as Charlie peeked in to make she was where she was supposed to be. She breathed evenly, exaggerating the movement, like a bad actress.

_She wasn't lying. I should trust her more, _Charlie thought as he closed the door. From my hiding place I noticed that I hadn't heard what he was thinking _before _I heard his footsteps.

A long minute passed while I waited until the coast was clear. Then I emerged from my hiding place and placed my arms around Bella in the bed.

"You are a terrible actress – I'd say that career path is out for you."

"Darn it," Bella muttered. Her heart was crashing in her chest. I couldn't tell if it was excitement, nervousness or fear.

"Should I sing you to sleep?" I suggested. It was well past her bedtime.

"Right," Bella laughed. "Like I could sleep with you here!"

"You do it all the time," I reminded her.

"But I didn't_ know_ you were here," she replied icily.

"So if you don't want to sleep..." I suggested, ignoring her tone.

"If I don't want to sleep...?"

"What do you want to do then?"

She didn't answer at first.

"I'm not sure," she finally said.

"Tell me when you decide.

She was still in my arms and I took advantage of the situation, sliding my nose along her jaw, inhaling.

"I thought you were desensitized."

"Just because I'm resisting the wine doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet," I whispered. It was the perfect analogy...finally. "You have a very floral smell, like lavender...or freesia," I noted. "It's mouthwatering."

"Yeah, it's an off day when I don't get _somebody_ telling me how edible I smell."

I chuckled and then sighed.

"I've decided what I wanted to do," she told me. "I want to hear more about you."

"Ask me anything."

Bella was quiet as she decided what she actually wanted to know.

"Why do you do it," she finally asked. "I still don't understand how you can work so hard to resist what you..._are_. Please don't misunderstand, of course I'm glad that you do. I just don't see why you would bother in the first place."

I hesitated before answering. This was a common question amongst our kind. Sometimes, in the beginning, I wondered the same.

"That's a good question, and you are not the first one to ask it. The others – the majority of our kind who are quite content with our lot – they, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we've been... dealt a certain hand...it doesn't mean that we can't choose to rise above – to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can."

Bella lay unmoving, locked in awed silence.

"Did you fall asleep?" I whispered after a few minutes.

"No."

"Is that all you were curious about?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Not quite."

"What else do you want to know?"

"Why can you read minds – why only you? And Alice, seeing the future...why does that happen?"

I shrugged in the darkness. We all wondered about that.

"We don't really know. Carlisle has a theory...he believes that we all bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified – like our minds, and our senses. He thinks that I must have already been very sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. And that Alice had some precognition, wherever she was."

"What did he bring into the next life, and the others?"

"Carlisle brought his compassion," I told her. "Esme brought her ability to love passionately. Emmett brought his strength, Rosalie, her...tenacity. Or you could call it pigheadedness." I chuckled at that. "Jasper is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he is able to manipulate the emotions of those around him – calm down a room of angry people for example, or excite a lethargic crowd, conversely. It's a very subtle gift."

Bella considered the impossibilities I described, trying to take it in. I waited patiently, for once.

"So where did it all start," she asked. "I mean, Carlisle changed you, and then someone must have changed him, and so on..."

"Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn't we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Or, if you don't believe that all this world could have just happened on its own, which is hard for me to accept myself, is it so hard to believe that the same force that created the delicate angelfish with the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale, could create both our kinds together?"

"Let me get this straight – I'm the baby seal, right?"

"Right." I laughed and my lips touched her hair.

"Are you ready to sleep?" I asked, interrupting the short silence. "Or do you have any more questions?"

"Only a million or two."

"We have tomorrow," I reminded her. "And the next day, and the next..."

Bella smiled, euphoric at the thought. Even though I wasn't smiling, for once, I felt the same way.

"Are you sure you won't vanish in the morning. You are mythical, after all," she added.

"I won't leave you," I promised.

"One more then tonight..." and she blushed. The darkness was no help – I could feel the warmth under her skin.

"What is it?"

"No, forget it," she said. "I changed my mind."

"Bella, you can ask me anything."

She didn't answer and I groaned.

"I keep thinking it will get less frustrating, not hearing your thoughts. But it just gets worse and _worse_."

"I'm glad you can't read my thoughts. It's bad enough that you eavesdrop on my sleep-talking."

"Please," I asked.

She shook her head.

"If you don't tell me, I'll just assume it's something much worse than it is," I threatened. "Please?"

"Well," she began, and then stopped.

"Yes?"

"You said that Rosalie and Emmett will get married soon...Is that...marriage...the same as it is for humans?"

I laughed in earnest, understanding what she was asking. "Is _that_ what you're getting at?"

She fidgeted, unable to answer.

"Yes, I suppose it is much the same," I said. "I told you, most of those human desires are there, just hidden behind more powerful desires."

"Oh," was all she could say.

"Was there a purpose behind your curiosity?"

"Well, I did wonder...about you and me...someday..."

Instantly I was still. Bella froze too, reacting to me.

The thought _had _crossed my mind in the meadow but I dismissed at once. I would never chance it.

"I don't think that...that...would be possible for us."

"Because it would be too hard for you, if I were that...close?" Bella guessed.

"That's certainly a problem. But that's not what I was thinking of," I told her. "It's just that you are so soft, so fragile. I have to mind my actions every moment that we're together so that I don't hurt you. I could kill you quite easily, Bella, simply by accident."

I moved my palm to rest against her cheek. "If I was too hasty...if for one second I wasn't paying enough attention, I could reach out, meaning to touch your face, and crush your skull by mistake. You don't realize how incredibly _breakable_ you are. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you."

I waited for her to respond, growing anxious when she didn't.

"Are you afraid?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine."

Now my curiosity was spiked. What had prompted her silence?

"I'm curious now, though," I said. "Have _you_ ever...?

"Of course not." Bella's faced was flushed. "I told you I've never felt like this about anyone before, not even close."

"I know. It's just that I know other people's thoughts. I know love and lust don't always keep the same company."

"They do for me. Now, anyway, that they exist for me at all," she sighed.

"That's nice. We have that one thing in common, at least," I replied, satisfied at her answer. Satisfied that maybe she wouldn't want so badly something she'd never experienced.

"Your human instincts," Bella began. I waited. "Well, do you find me attractive, in that way, at all?"

I laughed and lightly rumpled her nearly dry hair.

"I may not be human, but I _am_ a man," I assured her. If she only knew how attractive she was she would not need to pose such questions. If only she had the arrogance or confidence of my golden haired sister, she would know how attractive she really was.

Bella started to yawn and I knew that I shouldn't keep her up any longer.

"I've answered all your questions, now you should sleep," I insisted.

"I'm not sure if I can."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" she said, too loudly.

I laughed. I knew what would make her sleep. I began to hum her lullaby again.

The exhausting yet fulfilling day began to take its toll on Bella. Sleep overcame her quickly. When I was sure she was sleeping peacefully, I laid her on the bed and covered her with her quilt.

"Sleep well, my love," I whispered as I kissed her forehead. She did not move, even as I slipped out of the window into the night.

As soon as I walked into the house I felt six pairs of eyes on me. All six of my family members were gathered into the living room, waiting rather impatiently for me to walk through the door.

"Hello," I said, a sheepish grin on my face.

"Edward, you're back!" Esme exclaimed.

"Goody," was Rosalie's sarcastic greeting.

"How was your…date?" Emmett asked, a bitter scowl on his face. He hated to lose…anything.

"Is Bella...?" Carlisle started.

"She's perfectly fine," Alice chimed in. "In fact, Edward's considering bringing her here."

"Am I?" I asked. The thought had crossed my mind but I never fully decided.

"Well, I can't say for sure when," Alice clarified. "I just saw her visiting us."

"We'll welcome her with open arms, whenever you decided to bring her here," Carlisle stated.

_I hope it's soon._ I could hear the joy in Esme's thoughts.

I sat down on the sofa next to the only member of my family who hadn't spoken a word. Jasper was watching an old war movie and was remembering his own war stories. He turned to me when I sat down.

"So, you did it, huh?" he asked me, more of a statement though. He actually sounded pleased.

"Yes, I did it."

"Was it difficult?"

I chuckled. "More difficult than you would believe. I almost screwed up…more than once."

Jasper shook his head. "This girl…Bella…she makes you happy?"

I nodded.

"Then I'm glad you didn't…mess up."

Suddenly I felt Esme's arm gently around my shoulders. I looked around and the entire family was sitting in the living room, as if we were camping around a campfire and they were waiting for me to tell a ghost story.

"So are you going to tell us about it?" Carlisle asked.

"Sure. What hasn't Alice told you?" I knew she had been watching my every move, before I made it and reporting back to the family.

"Do we really need all the details?" Rosalie said, irritation in her voice. "I just want to know how she dealt with the sparkling."

For all of us, with the exception of Rosalie and Alice, the sparkling was a nuisance that we tried to avoid at all costs. However, the idea that their skin appeared to be embedded with diamonds whenever the sun hit it fascinated the girls. I've seen them stare at each other in the sun…for hours.

"She dealt with it just fine. She really just stared. I'm sure she was just as fascinated as you seem to be."

"This is amazing," Esme gushed. "She knows everything and is okay with it. So no more talk of leaving, right?"

I sighed and leaned back. I knew that Esme would be the happiest but I could also sense the tension in the air. Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie were still on the fence regarding Bella. No matter how we felt about each other, it was still very dangerous.

"What's wrong Edward?" Alice asked me.

"Despite everything that happened today, I'm not making this any better for us. She's still a human…"

"That knows our secret," Rosalie finished. "Look, I'm glad that you finally found someone to love. But you have to do something about her. Have Carlisle do it, or do it yourself. But don't subject us to this _crime, _making us accessories against our will. That's just insane."

"Rose," Carlisle interjected when he saw my temper flaring. "Edward committed no crime. We are not accessories to anything."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. 'Will _they_ understand that?"

No one spoke. We knew what _they_ she referred to were and they most likely would _not_ understand. But I would not do it, no matter what the consequences. I would not end Bella's life, not to make her one of us.

"That doesn't matter to me," Alice spoke up. "Bella is a wonderful girl. Even though I only met her briefly" – she shot me a look – "I think he should bring her here to meet us and whatever happens happens."

"But it's not safe," Rosalie whined.

"Not safe for whom," I asked, "you or Bella? Because if anyone is in any real danger, it would be her."

"No one here will hurt her," Carlisle assured me. "I, for one, would love to meet her."

Rosalie, an expert at knowing when she wasn't going to get her way, rose from Emmett's lap.

"I'm will not be a part of this," she cried, like a spoiled child. "I've said it before and I'm saying it again!"

"Then don't be," I fired back. "We don't know what the future holds for Bella and I but I will be with her and I do not care if you have a problem with it."

If looks could kill, I should have turned into a pile of ashes from the look Rosalie gave me before running up the stairs to her room. Everyone glanced at Emmett, as if he could do something to calm down his mate. He shrugged his shoulders.

"What? I don't feel that way. I'm cool with whatever makes you happy man."

"Well, someone needs to talk to Rosalie," I muttered.

It was a toss up between Esme and Emmett, the only ones who were _always_ able to speak some sense into the pigheaded girl.

"I'll do it. She's not mad at me…yet," Emmett said. "Later…alone."

_Forget her_, Alice didn't dare say aloud. Rosalie was known for being able to hold a grudge.

_I want to hear about the date._ The others were thinking the same thing.

And so I told them what had happened in the meadow and later at Bella's house. I left out the part with the kiss and a lot of the touching. They did not need to know _everything_.

After I finished, I realized that it was later than I'd expected. I quickly changed my clothes – Alice had another outfit laid out for me – and ran back to the Swan house. I wanted to be there when Bella awoke, like I'd never left.


	4. Chapter 4 The Cullens

16. The Cullens

The sun tried to shine through Bella's bedroom window but the thick gray clouds prohibited much of the morning light. Bella stirred, awaking slowly, groggy and confused. I sat in the rocking chair, watching as she moaned and rolled over on her side. Suddenly she was wide awake and a surprised gasp escaped her lips as she sat up.

"Oh."

Her hair was wild and out of control, sticking up in places like long brown spikes.

"Your hair looks like a haystack…but I like it."

"Edward! You stayed!" she yelled and threw herself across the room and into my lap. I wasn't expecting her joyous reaction, however I did appreciate her enthusiasm. It made me feel good inside. I laughed out loud and rubbed her back as she rested her head against my shoulder.

"Of course," I answered.

"I was sure it was a dream," Bella whispered.

"You're not that creative."

"Charlie!" she suddenly shouted, jumping up again and heading to the door.

"He left an hour ago – after reattaching your battery cables, I might add. I have to admit I was disappointed. Is that really all it would take to stop you, if you were determined to go?"

Bella stood by the door, confusion written all over her face. I did not understand why.

"You're not usually this confused in the morning." I held my arms open, an invitation to return to my lap. However she did not. I felt a deep since of rejection and gloom. She had finally come to her senses.

"I need another human minutes," she finally spoke.

"I'll wait." I didn't have a choice. I needed to hear her _say_ that I was no longer welcome in her home…in her life. I waited, knowing that no matter how hard I listened, I would not be able to hear anything except the sounds of her neighbors starting their day.

Soon I heard her half-run in the hallway. Her footsteps were light, not the heavy gait of someone who had very upsetting news. The bedroom door swung open and Bella walked quickly over to me. To my surprise she climbed back into my lap, placing her hand on my chest. I cradled her in my arms.

My assumption had been totally incorrect.

I rocked back and forth in silence, enjoying the serenity of the moment until Bella looked up and touched the collar of my shirt.

"You left?"

"I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in – what would the neighbors think?"

She pouted, reminding me of a child who was told they could not have a new toy.

"You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything. The talking came earlier."

She groaned. "What did you hear?"

"You said you loved me."

"You knew that already," she reminded me, ducking her head shyly.

"It was nice to hear, just the same."

Bella buried her face in the crest of my shoulder. "I love you," she whispered.

A yearning sensation coursed through my body as the breathless words rolled off her tongue with ease. This was no dream. She wasn't sleeping. She was quite conscious.

Isabella Swan was in love with me!

There was only one thing I could say in response, only one phrase that could fully reiterate how much the girl in my arms truly meant to me.

"You are my life now."

There was nothing more to say for the moment. I rocked us back and forth as the room grew lighter with the rising sun.

"Breakfast time," I said eventually, casually – to prove that I remembered all of her human frailties.

Before I could move, Bella clutched her throat with both hands and stared at me with wide eyes. Shock and horror crossed her face. I was stunned to see that she would even think I meant breakfast for me, let alone that she would be my meal.

"Kidding!" she snickered. "And you said I couldn't act!"

"That wasn't funny," I fumed. But I couldn't resist a small chuckle. Her acting was a bit comical.

"Shall I rephrase?" I asked. "Breakfast time for the human."

"Oh, okay."

I flung Bella, like a human sized ragdoll, over my shoulder and carried down the stairs. She protested but I ignored her until we reached the kitchen and I sat her in a chair.

"What's for breakfast?" she asked pleasantly?"

For a second, I was caught off guard. I'd never cooked before. I barely had an idea of what people ate for breakfast. I quickly scanned the kitchen for something that resembled a meal that I could prepare.

"Err, I'm not sure. What would you like?"

Bella grinned and hopped up. "That's alright, I fend for myself pretty well. Watch me hunt."

I obeyed as she retrieved a bowl and box of breakfast cereal. I vaguely remembered breakfast but even so, I knew it was more than what Bella was eating. I remembered my mother serving eggs and bacon and toasted bread, and even hot cereal. Bella cleared her throat to gain my attention.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Just eat Bella."

We sat at the table. I gazed at her as she ate, studying her every movement. There were times when Bella seemed quite graceful. This was one of them.

"What's on the agenda?" Bella asked anxiously. I guessed my incessant staring was making her a tad uncomfortable.

"Hmmm…what would you say to meeting my family?" The question escaped before I really gave it any thought.

Bella swallowed hard.

"Are you afraid now?" I asked. Hopefully she would be afraid and say no…that she wasn't ready.

"Yes."

"Don't worry. I'll protect you."

"I'm not afraid of _them_," she explained. "I'm afraid they won't…like me. Won't they be, well, surprised that you would bring someone…like me…home to meet them? Do they know that I know about them?"

"Oh, they already know everything. They'd taken bets yesterday, you know…on whether I'd bring you back, though why anyone would bet against Alice, I can't imagine. At any rate, we don't have secrets in the family. It's not really feasible, what with my mind reading and Alice seeing the future and all that."

"And Jasper making you feel all warm and fuzzy about spilling your guts, don't forget that," she added.

"You paid attention," I stated approvingly. She was beginning to accept us.

"I've been known to do that ever now and then." But she grimaced. "So did Alice see me coming?"

"Something like that," I said uncomfortably, turning away so that she could not see the lie behind my eyes. But she stared at me anyway.

"Is that any good?" I asked, changing the subject. "Honestly, it doesn't look very appetizing."

"Well, it's no irritable grizzly…" she murmured, ignoring my eyes when I glowered.

Restlessly, I stood up and stared out the back windows. I saw a brief flash of pale white skin and golden hair billowing in the breeze. Rosalie. What was she doing here? Then another flash of white behind her.

_Just passing through,_ Emmett called out soundlessly. _Alice told us you were bringing Bella for sure and Rose flipped out. I'll try to calm her down. See you later!_

I shook my head and turned back to Bella. I smiled as a simple thought came to mind. If she was going to meet my family…

"And you should introduce to your father, too, I think."

"He already knows you," Bella answered, matter-of-factly.

"As your boyfriend, I mean."

She stared at me suspiciously. "Why?"

"Isn't that customary?" I asked. It had been for as long as I remembered. I know it's the new millennium but things hadn't changed that much, had they?

"I don't know," she admitted. "But it's really not necessary, you know. I don't expect you to…I mean, don't have to pretend for me."

"I'm not pretending."

She pushed the remains of her cereal around the edges of the bow, biting her lip, avoiding my question.

"Are you going to tell Charlie I'm your boyfriend or not?"

"Is that what you are?"

"It's a loose interpretation of the word 'boy', I'll admit."

"I was under the impression that you were something more, actually," she finally admitted.

"Well, I don't know if we need to give him all the gory details." I reached across the table to lift her chin with a gentle finger. "But he will need some explanation for why I'm around here so much. I don't want chief Swan getting a restraining order put on me."

"Will you be?' she asked, suddenly anxious again. "Will you really be here?"

"As long as you want me to," I assured her.

"I'll always want you…forever."

_Forever._ Bella's forever and my forever meant two different things. Her's wasn't quite as long as mine. I am immortal. I really would live _forever_. I wondered how I'd ever live without her.

"Does that make you sad?" she asked, noticing my solemn expression.

I didn't answer right away. Instead I stared into her eyes for a moment, contemplating what my life would be like if she wasn't there. It was not a pleasant thought.

"Are you finished," I finally asked, sweeping away the ugly notion of Bella not being around. She was here; she was right where I needed her to be. I'd deal with the future later.

She jumped up in response to my question. "Yes."

"Get dressed – I'll wait here."

Bella climbed the stairs, a mixture of nervousness and excitement in each step. I waited patiently. I was no in rush but this was something that I had to be done, sooner rather than later.

Moments later, Bella bounced down the stairs wearing a long khaki colored skirt and the dark blue blouse that I adored.

"Okay, I'm decent," she called as she bounced right into my arms at the bottom of the stairs.

"Wrong again, I murmured in her ear. "You are utterly indecent – no one should look so tempting, it's not fair."

"Tempting how?" she asked apprehensively. "I can change…"

Shaking my head, I sighed. "You are _so_ absurd." I pressed my lips delicately to her forehead.

"Shall I explain how you are tempting me?" I asked, rhetorically. My fingers traced slowly down her spine. My breathing intensified, coming quicker against her skin. I tilted my head slowly and for the second time I touched my lips to hers, very carefully, parting them slightly.

And then she collapsed.

"Bella?" I was alarmed as I caught her in my arms and steadied her on her feet.

_What had just happened?_

"You…made…me...faint."

"_What am I going to do with you_," I groaned in exasperation. "Yesterday I kiss you, and you attack me! Today you pass out on me!"

Bella tried to laugh but it came out all wrong.

"So much for being good at everything," I mumbled.

"That's the problem. You're too good. Far, far too good."

"Do you feel sick?" I asked. Her face was a very faint greenish in color, like it had been the day of the blood typing.

"No – that's wasn't the same king of fainting at all. I don't know what happened." She shook her head apologetically. "I think I forgot to breathe."

"I can't take you anywhere like this."

"I'm fine," she insisted. "Your family is going to think I'm insane anyway. What's the difference?"

I was lost in admiration, not paying attention anymore to what she was saying. The shade of blue of her blouse was doing wonderful things to her complexion.

"I'm very partial to that color with your skin." She flushed brightly and looked way.

"Look, I'm trying really hard not to think about what I'm about to do, so can we go already."

"And you're worried, not because you're headed to meet a house full of vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you, correct?"

"That's right," she answered immediately.

I couldn't believe it. "You're incredible."

We decided to take her truck. I would have preferred running – it would have been much quicker – but I remembered the near panic attack that struck Bella yesterday and relented to driving.

Bella was impatient as we chugged along the road. I could see it all over her face but she was a quiet impatient. I liked that. We had something else in common.

I barely glanced at the road as I made the turn onto the unpaved road that led to our home. The forest encroached it on both sides but I knew the route perfectly. A few miles later the forest thinned and our large white house came into view. A tiny gasp came from Bella as she stared at the house.

"Wow."

I realized that Bella – like most people – had not seen our house. It wasn't visible from the road – seclusion was the key – and the vampire movies that she had seen certainly didn't depict our turn of the century house. I wondered what Bella had expected. Moats? And old Draconian castle, nestled deep in the woods?

But I couldn't give her anything remotely close to what she – and most imagined. Our house was normal. Its occupants were the only _abnormal_ thing about it.

The hundred year old house wasn't scary by any means. Esme had come across it, nestled in the woods, close to the river, by accident. It was weathered by all the rain and hadn't been taken care of in years. Together, working within Esme's vision, we painted it a faded white and added a third story. Between Esme and Emmett's exemplary craftsmanship, the windows and doors were a perfect restoration of what they were. I remembered the day well, the day that we finished working on the house and were ready to move it. The unveiling was splendid. The house reminded me of the home I shared with my own parents nearly a hundred years ago.

"You like it?"

"It has a certain charm," Bella answered, still staring the house.

I tugged at the end of Bella's ponytail playfully and chuckled.

"Ready?"

"Not even a little bit," Bella answered when she stepped out of the door that I held open for her. "Let's go." She fidgeted and smoothed her hair nervously.

"You look lovely." I took her hand and we strolled up to the porch. I could feel the tension in her palm but I didn't know how to comfort her. I was too nervous myself. I wanted this to go right. I wanted to prove Rosalie wrong….this was _not_ a bad idea. But most importantly I wanted Bella to feel welcome.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. Waiting beside the grand piano were Carlisle and Esme. I should have known they would be the first faces Bella would see.

Esme's soft, unthreatening smile eased Bella's tension at once but she and Carlisle were careful not to move, not wanting to frighten her. They had no idea that Bella was completely comfortable with our abnormalities.

_Oh Edward, she's lovely,_ Esme gushed.

"Carlisle, Esme," I said to break the silence, "this is Bella."

"You're very welcome here, Bella." Carlisle's step was measured, careful, as he approached her. He raised his hand tentatively and Bella stepped forward to shake his hand.

"It's nice to see you again, Dr. Cullen."

"Pleas, call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle," she corrected and smiled. I felt an immediate sense of relief. Bella was no longer afraid of them not liking her.

Esme smiled and stepped forward as well, reaching for Bella's hand.

"It's very nice to know you," she said sincerely.

"Thank you. I'm glad to meet you too."

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" I asked, looking around. No one had to answer because they appeared, like ghosts, at the top of the staircase.

_Here we are!_

"Hey Edward!" Alice called enthusiastically as she ran down the stairs, coming to a sudden, yet graceful, stop in front of Bella. Carlisle and Esme shot warning glances at her which she ignored. I did too. Alice was just being Alice, naturally annoying.

"Hi Bella!" Alice squealed, and bounced forward to kiss her cheek. If Carlisle and Esme had looked cautious before, they now looked staggered. There was shock in my eyes too. I had not expected Alice to get so close to her. It was just her first time.

"You do smell nice, I never noticed before," Alice commented.

"Alice, what's wrong with you?" I scolded. She didn't answer and no one else seemed to know what to say. And then Jasper was there. A feeling of ease spread through all of us. I mouthed 'thank you' to Jasper. All was good in the room again.

"Hello Bella," Jasper spoke. He kept his distance though, not offering to shake her hand. I could see his struggle.

"Hello Jasper." Bella smiled shyly and then at the others. "It's nice to meet you all – you have a very beautiful home."

"Thank you," Esme said. "We're so glad that you came." She spoke with so much feeling that I realized that she thought Bella was brave.

Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere to be seen. But I was happy that Rosalie wasn't around to make the situation even more tense and awkward.

From the corner of my eye I noticed that Carlisle was staring at me, trying to catch my attention. I turned towards him, away from Bella, and listened to what only I could hear.

_Edward, Alice saw us having some visitors to the area soon. She doesn't see that they are dangers, merely curious._

I nodded once, making a mental note to ask Alice _exactly_ what she saw. My first instinct was to take Bella away for a while, to protect her, no matter what the cost. But I did not want to overreact unnecessarily.

"Do you play?" I heard Esme's voice and I turned my attention back to our guest.

Bella was staring dreamily at my grand piano, as if wishing she could play.

"No, not at all," Bella answered wistfully. "Is it yours?"

"No," Esme giggled. "Edward didn't tell you he was musical?"

I smiled innocently as Bella glared at me. I'd neglected to mention that talent since she seemed so opposed to me being good at things, though I had not forgotten to ask her if she played any instruments.

"No," she answered, still glaring at me with narrowed eyes. "Should have know, I guess."

Esme raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"Edward can do everything, right?" Bella explained.

Jasper snickered and Esme gave me a reproachful look.

"I hope you haven't been showing off – it's rude," she scolded.

"Just a bit," I teased. Esme's face softened at the peal of my laughter.

_It's so nice to hear you laugh. _

Esme's expression was smug as she turned back to Bella.

"He's been too modest, actually," Bella told her.

"Well," Esme turned towards me, "play for her."

"You just said showing off was rude," I protested.

"There are exceptions to every rule," was her matronly reply.

Bella looked longingly at me. "I'd like to hear you play," she said, not helping the situation any.

I looked at the other members of my family for help but no one came to my aid. Truthfully, I did want to play for Bella but not in front of my entire family. Unfortunately, it did not appear that they intended to leave.

"It's settled then," Esme said and pushed me towards the piano.

I reached for Bella's hand and pulled her along with me. She took a seat beside me as my hands hovered above the keys. I couldn't decide what to play. Then I looked at Esme and Carlisle. They wore the same blissful expression...so happy to see me happy. I decided to play the song I'd composed for them...for their love. I was so caught up in the melody that I did not notice Bella's reaction until I heard Jasper and Alice snicker. I glanced at Bella, my fingers still flying over the keys, and winked.

"Do you like it?"

"You wrote this?" she gasped.

"Yes," I nodded. "It's Esme's favorite."

Bella closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. At first I thought she was letting the melody take over, absorbing the soft cadences. But through her nearly translucent eyelids, I saw her eyes roll.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm feeling extremely insignificant."

_How could that be,_ I wondered. She was the most significant person my life..._forever._ To prove how _significant_ she was, I slowed the song and eased into the new one I had started composing...the lullaby.

_Bella's lullaby._

"You inspired this one, you know," I said softly in her ear as she recognized the tune.

"They like you," I informed her. "Esme, especially."

Bella glanced behind her but the room was empty now. Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, and Alice had slipped out when I changed the song.

"Where did they go?"

"Very subtly giving us some privacy, I suppose."

"_They_ like me," Bella sighed. "But Rosalie and Emmett..."

She _had_ noticed their absence. I'd been hoping she wouldn't mind.

"Don't worry about Rosalie," I assured her. "She'll come around."

On this matter, Rosalie did not have choice. I made a mental note to remind her of the conversation we had on the rocks, a conversation I know she had not forgotten.

"And Emmett?" she asked skeptically.

"Well, he thinks _I'm_ a lunatic, it's true," I admitted, "but he doesn't have a problem with you. He's trying to reason with Rosalie."

"What is it that upsets her?" Bella asked, sounding unsure that she really wanted to know.

"Rosalie," I started to explain, trying to use the right words and still leave Bella with a decent impression of my sister. "Rosalie struggles the most with...with what we are. It's hard for her to have someone on the outside know the truth. And..." I continued, "She's a little jealous."

"_Rosalie_ is jealous of _me_?" Bella questioned.

"You're human. She wishes that she were too."

"Oh," she muttered, obviously stunned by the realization that the perfect Rosalie that she'd envisioned could be jealous of _anybody_. There weren't many people she was jealous of, but there were a few. Bella fell into the latter category.

"Even Jasper, though...?"

"That's my fault," I confessed. "I told you he was the most recent to try our way of life. I warned him to keep his distance."

I had not wanted to reveal that to Bella, especially since she was so wound up over the Rosalie thing. I saw her shudder at the possibility of what could have happened had she attracted Jasper the way she did me.

"Esme and Carlisle?" she asked quickly to conceal her worriedness. Unsuccessfully, I might add.

"Are happy to see me happy. Actually, Esme wouldn't care if you had a third eye and webbed feet. All this time she's been worried about me, afraid that there was something missing from my essential make up, that I was too young when Carlisle changed me. She's ecstatic. Every time I touch you, she just about chokes with satisfaction."

"Alice seems very..." she searched for the right word, "enthusiastic."

"Alice has her own way of looking at things," I said tightly.

"And you're not going to explain that, are you?"

No. I was not going to frighten her. And I was not going to plant seeds in her head. There was no way I'd ever admit that Alice was confident in the fact that Bella would soon be one of us.

A moment of wordless communication passed between us. I realized that she could see that I was keeping something from her. And she knew that I was not going to give anything away.

Bella changed the subject.

"So what was Carlisle telling you before?"

I wasn't sure that she'd noticed our silent conversation. Again I'd underestimated her. She was much more observant than I realized.

"You noticed that, did you?"

She shrugged. "Of course."

"He wanted to tell me some news – he didn't know if it was something I would share with you."

"Will you?" she asked, pleading with her eyes.

I sighed. "I have to, because I'm going to be a little...overbearingly protective over the next few days – or weeks – and I wouldn't want you to think I'm naturally a tyrant."

"What's wrong?" she didn't even sound slightly afraid.

"Nothing's wrong, exactly. Alice just sees some visitors coming soon. They know we're here and they're curious."

"Visitors?" she asked, a bit of fear seeping into her voice.

"Yes...well, they aren't like us, of course – in their hunting habits, I mean. They probably won't come into town at all, but I'm certainly not going to let you out of my sight until they're gone."

Bella shivered, now I could sense real fear.

"Finally, a rational response! I was beginning to think you had no sense of self-preservation at all."

Bella looked away and offered no comment, letting my snide remark go. Her eyes wondered around the spacious room. I followed her gaze.

"Not what you expected, is it?"

"No."

"No coffins, no piled skulls in the corners; I don't even think we have cobwebs..." I teased, pulling from all the stories and rumors I'd heard in the different cities and schools we'd attended. "What a disappointment this must be for you."

"It's so light...so open," Bella comment, ignoring my ribbing again.

"It's the one place we don't have to hide."

I finished the song I was still playing. The last note lingered poignantly in the silence.

"Thank you," Bella whispered. There were tears in her eyes. It was the first time _anyone_ had cried at my playing. I touched the corner of her eyes, wiping away her tears.

I stared at my finger; the single tear drop glistened on my fingertip. I inhaled. _Even her tears smelled delectable._ Quickly, without thinking twice, I put my finger to my mouth to taste it. _Nothing!_ Just a salty taste. No flavor, no hint of the fire causing scent that I endured

I caught Bella staring at me, questioning my action and I gazed back for a moment, too embarrassed by my action to actually apologize.

"Do you want to see the rest of the house?"

"No coffins?" she asked, her voice full of sarcasm and anxiety.

"No coffins," I promised, leading her away from the piano.

Hand in hand we walked up the stairs and down the wood paneled hallway.

"Rosalie and Emmett's room...Carlisle's office...Alice's room..."I pointed out as I led her past our most sacred places.

I would have continued on to my room but Bella has stopped at the end of the hall, staring incredulously at the one thing I am positive she had not expected to see in a vampire's house. I chuckled at her bewildered expression.

"You can laugh. It is sort of ironic."

But she didn't laugh. She raised her hand, one finger extended as she was going to touch the large wooden cross that hung on the wall.

"It must be very old."

"Early sixteen-thirties, more or less," I guessed. We didn't actually know. Years passed by abstractly for us.

"Why do you keep this here?" Bella wondered, staring at me.

"Nostalgia. It belonged to Carlisle's father," I explained.

"He collected antiques?"

"No. He carved this himself. It hung on the wall above the pulpit in the vicarage where he preached."

My answer shocked Bella, her face betrayed her. She started at the cross again, quickly doing the mental math. She was fast. The silence stretched on as she contemplated that the cross was over three hundred and seventy years old.

"Are you alright?"

"How old is Carlisle?" Bella asked quietly.

"He just celebrated his three hundred and sixty-second birthday," I answered. Bella's eyes were swimming with a million questions.

"Carlisle was born in London, in the sixteen-forties, he believes. Time wasn't marked as accurately then, for the common people anyway. It was just before Cromwell's rule, though."

I scrutinized Bella's face. She was quite composed despite the shock and awe she must have felt.

"He was the only son of an Anglican pastor," I continued. Bella stared intently. She wanted to hear the story.

"His mother died giving birth to him. His father was an intolerant man. As the Protestants came into power he was enthusiastic in his persecution of Roman Catholics and other religions. He also believed very strongly in the reality of evil. He led hunts for witches, werewolves...and vampires." Bella grew still but I went on without pausing.

"They burned a lot of innocent people – of course the real creatures that he sought were not no easy to catch.

"When the pastor grew old, he placed his obedient son in charge of the raids. At first Carlisle was a disappointment; he was not quick to accuse, to see demons where they did not exist. But he was persistent, and move clever than his father. He actually discovered a coven of true vampires that lived hidden in the sewers of the city, only coming out by night to hunt. In those days, when monsters were not just myths and legends, that was the way many lived.

I watched Bella's expression, knowing that I would immediately discontinue the story if she appeared to be too scared. She was fine, so I continued, though I could hear her heart thumping a little too loudly.

"The people gathered their pitchforks and torches, of course, and waited where Carlisle had seen the monster exit to the street. Eventually one emerged."

My voice was quieter now. Bella strained to hear the rest of the tale.

"He must have been ancient and weak with hunger. Carlisle heard him call out in Latin to the others when he caught scent of the mob. He ran through the streets, and Carlisle – he was twenty-three and very fast – was in the lead of the pursuit. The creature could have easily outrun them, but Carlisle thinks he was too hungry, so he turned and attacked. He fell on Carlisle first, but the others were close behind, and he turned to defend himself. He killed two men and made off with a third, leaving Carlisle bleeding in the street."

I paused, mentally editing the story. Bella didn't have to know _all_ of the schematics of Carlisle's transaction.

"Carlisle knew what his father would do. The bodies would be burned – anything infected by the monster must be destroyed. Carlisle acted instinctively to save his own life. He crawled way from the alley while the mob followed the fiend and his victim. He hid in a cellar, buried himself in rotting potatoes for three days. It's a miracle he was able to keep silent, to stay undiscovered.

"It was over then, and he realized what he had become."

Bella's face was forlorn.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she assured me, but I could see the curiosity spiking.

"I expect you have a few more questions for me."

"A few."

I took her hand in mine and started to lead her down the hallway.

"Come on then, I'll show you."


	5. Chapter 5 Carlisle

17. Carlisle

Bella and I walked down the long hallway, back towards Carlisle's office. We paused outside the door. Carlisle was reading a medical journal and I was hesitant to interrupt him.

"Come in," Carlisle spoke through the closed door. I opened heavy door and motioned for Bella to enter first.

Next to my room, Carlisle's office was the most interesting place in the house for me. Bella stared in awe, at the size and décor of the room.

Carlisle's sanctuary looked as if it should have been nestled in an obscure building at an Ivy League school. The walls were dark wood paneling and most of the wall space was take up by towering bookcases that held slightly less books than the Forks library.

"What can I do for you?" Carlisle asked pleasantly. He smiled at Bella.

"I wanted to show Bella some of our history," I explained. "Well, your history, actually."

_Really?_ Carlisle glanced quickly from me to Bella.

"We didn't mean to disturb you," Bella apologized.

"Not at all. Where are you going to start?"

"The Waggoner," I replied, placing my hand lightly on Bella's shoulder and turning her around. Her heart beat a little faster when I touched her. Carlisle heard it and grinned.

_Does that happen often?_ I nodded and grinned as well. Bella did not notice our silent conversation. She was entranced by the paintings on the wall. The wall was crowded with framed pictures, some vibrant and colorful. Some were dull. The paintings were hung with little care, without any type of order, much to Esme's dismay. Carlisle had hung them himself, not allowing Esme to take over the task. She had not been happy.

I steered Bella to the far left side of the wall and pointed in the direction of a small square oil painting in a plain wooden frame. It blended in with the other paintings but it was one of the most important pieces in the room. It depicted a miniature city full of steeply slanted roofs, with thin spires a tops a few scattered towers. A wide river filled the foreground, crossed by a bridge covered with tiny cathedrals.

"London," I described the painting, "in the sixteen-fifties."

"The London of my youth," Carlisle added from a few feet behind us. Bella jumped, startled. She hadn't heard him approach. I squeezed her hand. If there was any place she was completely safe, it was with me and Carlisle in his study.

"Will you tell the story?" I asked Carlisle. Bella twisted a little to catch his answer. He met her glance and smiled, setting her at ease.

"I would, but I'm actually running a bit late. The hospital called this morning – Dr. Snow is taking a sick day. Besides, you know the stories as well as I do."

I looked at Bella, wondering what she must be feeling, hearing Carlisle speak so casually about his work at the hospital and knowing what she knew. It had to be unnerving.

Carlisle patted me on my shoulder, smiled at Bella, and walked to the door.

_I really like her. She's good for you,_ I heard as he left the room.

Bella was staring at the painting, more curious now.

"What happened then?" she finally asked. "When he realized what had happened to him?"

I took my eyes off her and turned towards another painting – a large landscape in dull fall colors – an empty, shadowed meadow in a forest – a thousand times different than my meadow.

I spoke quietly, thinking the softer my voice, the less horrific the tale may sound.

"When he knew what he had become, he rebelled against it. He tried to destroy himself. But that's not easily done."

"How?" Bella matched my tone.

"He jumped from great heights," I told her. "He tried to drown himself in the ocean...but he was young to the new life and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist feeding...while he was so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over everything." I paused for a second, remembering my own transition. It was not a pleasant memory.

"But," I continued, "he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try to kill himself with starvation."

Bella gulped. Her voice was faint when she finally spoke.

"Is that possible?"

I shook my head. "No, there are very few ways we can be killed."

She opened her mouth to ask another question but I stopped her. Her questions were making me uncomfortable.

"So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He stayed far as he could from the human populace, recognizing that his willower was weakening too. For months he wandered by night, seeking the loneliest places, loathing himself.

"One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength had returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared."

This that was the part of Carlisle's story that had made me who I am, who we all are....his realization and later redemption.

"Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again.

"He began to make better use of his time. He'd always been intelligent, eager to learn. Now he had unlimited time before him. He studied by night, planned by day. He swam to France and –"

"He _swam_ to France?" Bella interrupted.

"People swim the Channel all the time, Bella," I reminded her.

"That's true, I guess. It just sounded funny in that context," she replied. "Go on."

"Swimming is easy for us –"

"Everything is easy for _you,_" she griped.

It amused me that Bella thought I was so perfect and good at everything. She was terribly wrong.

"I won't interrupt again, I promise."

I chuckled a little and finished my sentence.

"Because, technically, we don't need to breathe."

"You –," Bella almost broke her promise.

"No, no, you promised," I scolded her, putting my finger to her lips. "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"You can't spring something like that on me, and then expect me not to say anything," she mumbled.

I moved my hand to rest against her neck so she could speak freely.

"You don't have to _breathe?_"

"No, it's not necessary." I shrugged my shoulders. "Just a habit."

"How long can you go...without_ breathing?_"

"Indefinitely, I supposed." I really didn't want to know. "I don't know. It gets a bit uncomfortable – being without a sense of smell."

"A bit uncomfortable," she echoed.

I sopped and dropped my hands to my side. Something about her tone disturbed me. She was uncomfortable now. Disgusted. I'd revealed too much and now Bella was going to leave me.

"What is it?" Bella whispered, reaching up to touch my expressionless face. Her touch warmed me and I was able to speak.

"I keep waiting for it to happen."

"For what to happen?"

"I know that at some point, something I tell you or something you see is going to be too much. And then you'll run away from me, screaming as you go." It was hard for me to admit that. It hurt.

"I won't stop you," I finished. "I want this to happen because I want you to be safe. And yet, I want to be with you. The two desires are impossible to reconcile." I stared at her...waiting.

"I'm not running anywhere," she spoke urgently...confidently.

I smiled. "We'll see."

"So, go on – Carlisle was swimming to France..."

I felt her eyes on me as my eyes flickered to another painting, the anxiousness I felt still the strongest feeling in my body. The painting was the most colorful..._brilliant._..of all of them. The canvas overflowed with figures in swirling robes, long pillars and marbled balconies.

"Carlisle swam to France, and continued on through Europe, to the universities there. By night he studied music, science, medicine – and found his calling, his penance, in that, saving human lives."

I paused. I'm sure Bella could hear my admiration for my father...his hope, his tenacity, his vision.

"I can't adequately describe the struggle; it took Carlisle two centuries of torturous effort to perfect his self control. Now he is all but immune to the scent of human blood, and he is able to do the work he loves without agony. He finds a great deal of peace there, at the hospital."

My mind wandered, thinking about the work that Carlisle does. My father...my creator, fulfilling an unknown purpose, able to find something in this torturous life that gave him peace. I wondered if any of us would ever be as content with our lot in life as Carlisle was with his.

A slight movement by Bella brought me back to the moment. I tapped my finger against the painting she was still gawking at.

"He was studying in Italy when he discovered the others there. They were much more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers."

I ran my fingers along the painting slowly, outlining the pale, god-like quartet of robed figures, stopping at one in particular. Bella examined the men carefully and with a startled laughed she realized that she recognized the only golden-haired figure..._Carlisle._

"Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends," I explained. "He often painted them as gods." I chuckled at the awed expression on Bella's face. She was so amazed at the picture that she was speechless.

"Aro, Marcus, Caius," I pointed to the two dark haired and one white haired figures in the painting. "Nighttime patron of the arts."

"What happened to them?" Bella finally managed to ask a question as her fingered hovered over the canvas as if she was afraid to touch it.

I shrugged. I'd never actually met the three Italians, though I knew of them and their powers. We all were well aware of the Volturi.

"They're still there," I told her. "As they have been for who knows how many millennia. Carlisle stayed with them only for a short time, just a few decades. He greatly admired their civility, their refinement, but they persisted in trying to cure his aversion to his "natural food source" as they called it. They tried to persuade him, and he tried to persuade them, to no avail. At that point, Carlisle decided to try the New World. He dreamed of finding others like himself. He was very lonely, you see."

I looked into Bella's eyes, just to see if she was following along. What I saw there was intense and understanding. She was not just following along...listening to Carlisle's tale...she was empathizing. I had not realized it before. Bella could relate to me and to Carlisle at this point of his journey because she too was lonely.

"He didn't find anyone for a long time," I continued softly. "But, as monsters became the stuff of fairy tales, he found he could interact with unsuspecting humans as if he were one of them. He began practicing medicine. But the companionship he craved evaded him; he couldn't risk familiarity."

I looked down, staring at the light wooden floor. This was the part of Carlisle's story that was most difficult for me, the one part that I always faltered when telling, mainly because this part of his story marked the beginning of mine. Intrigued as she was with my storytelling, of how Carlisle came into this existence, there was still the possibility that Bella would not accept _my story_ so easily. However I was willing to risk everything, every emotion I felt for her, for her to know the truth..._all of it_.

"When the influenza epidemic hit, he was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in his mind for several years and he had almost decided to act – since he couldn't _find_ a companion, he would create one. He wasn't absolutely sure of how his own transformation had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyone's life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. There was no hope for me; I was left in a ward with the dying. He had nursed my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to try..."

I stared unseeingly through the west windows. Images filled my mind, faded memories of my last days as a human boy, sick and writhing with a fever that was killing me. Carlisle's memories – I'd heard them a thousand times – were clearer. His indecision. The helplessness he felt that he couldn't save me from the illness and leave me human. The struggle that he felt. And finally his decision that was a double edged sword.

Bella was watching me patiently, quietly, waiting for me to continue.

"And so we've come full circle," I concluded.

"Have you always stayed with Carlisle, then?" she asked now that she'd heard it all. Her eyes were teaming with questions.

"Almost always," I answered, taking her hand and guiding her out of the room before she insisted on hearing the rest of the tales from that wall of history.

We walked down the hall together.

"Almost?" Bella pushed.

I was reluctant to enter into _that _conversation but her eyes told me that I had no choice.

"Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence – about ten years after I was...born...created, whatever you want to call it. I wasn't sold on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time."

"Really?" Bella was intrigued, to say the least, rather than frightened. Of course I had expected the latter.

I helped Bella up the next flight of steep stairs without looking at her.

"That doesn't repulse you?" I asked.

"No," was her flat answer.

"Why not?"

"I guess...it sounds reasonable."

I laughed, more loudly that I'd intended. Bella never said or did anything that I expected. However, it did please me that she was not completely repulsed by my admission.

We were at the top of the stairs now, in the long hallway that led to my room.

"From the time of my new birth," I murmured as we walked, "I had the advantage of knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and non-human alike. That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle – I could read his perfect sincerity, understand exactly why he lived the way he did."

We walked slowly down the hall. I kept a firm grip on Bella's waist as we walked. I was speaking and she was looking at me, not minding her feet. I did not want her to fall.

"It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and his vision. I thought I would be exempt from the...depression...that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I could pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murderer down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl – if I saved her, then surely I wasn't so terrible."

Bella trembled in my arms. I wondered was she fearful of me or my prey? I remembered, with perfect clarity, the night in Port Angeles....Bella frightened and alone, surrounded by a gang of worthless fiends. Those men could have easily had the same fate as so many other evil men, had I not cared for Bella and my family so.

"But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved."

We'd come to a stop in front my of my bedroom door. I did not remember closing it when I left but my eyes were not deceiving me.

"My room," I announced and opened the door. As soon as I did so, I knew the reason it had been shut. _Esme_.

This room, large and sheltered from the rest of the house, was my personal haven. It faced south, with a window for a wall. Esme had redesigned it when we came to Forks, knowing my infatuation with the natural. I often sat in my room, reading, studying, or writing, and enjoyed the serene view of the winding Sol Duc River and the Olympic Mountain Range.

Bella's eyes roamed over the thick gold carpet and the matching heavy fabric that adorned the walls. I looked around also. The room was much cleaner than I had left it. The pile of clothes that was normally in the corner was gone. My journals and CDs were organized. Esme often complained that no matter how old I got, I still had teenage tendencies. It must be true because I had not met one seventeen year old male who _enjoyed_ cleaning his room. I tried to keep it as neat as possible. Esme picked up my slack.

"Good acoustics?" Bella asked, interrupting my thoughts. I looked where she was staring. My sound system, my pride and joy. Emmett and I had spent months finding exactly the right equipment to make it the best system in the state. It was highly sophisticated and breakable. I quickly steered Bella _far away from it._

I picked up the remote and turned the stereo on. A soft jazz number started to play and it sounded like the band was in the room with us.

Bella gawked at my massive CD collection that was shelved on the western wall. The entire wall was made up of built in shelving unites that housed my music.

While Bella explored I watched her. She moved around my room with ease, extremely comfortable there...in my house with six other vampires lurking nearby. I was impressed.

"How do you have these organized," I barely heard her ask.

"Umm, by year, and then my personal preference within that frame," I said absently.

Bella turned and looked at me, noticing my distracted tone.

"What?"

"I was prepared to feel...relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn't expect to feel more than that. I like it. It makes me...happy."

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. I was finally happy. It was difficult to comprehend.

"I'm glad," Bella replied, smiling back.

Her smile told me that she was genuinely happy and content. My smile faded as I wondered how long it would last.

"You're still waiting for the running and screaming, aren't you?" she guessed correctly.

I nodded.

"I hate to burst your bubble," she said casually, "but you're really not as scary as you think you are. I don't find you scary at all."

I raised my eyebrows in blatant disbelief. Then I realized what she was doing, trying to be brave, trying to pretend for my sake...my dear sweet _kitten_.

"You really shouldn't have said that," I warned her and growled, a low sound from the back of my throat.

_Two could play that game._

I crouched into my hunting stance, like a lion about to pounce. Bella knew something was going to happen. She backed away, glaring at me.

"You wouldn't."

I leapt before the words were completely out of her mouth. I locked my arms tightly around her as we flew through the air and crashed into my black leather sofa. Bella glared at me as she wiggled in my arms. I tightened my arms around her, securing her against my chest.

"You were saying?" I growled playfully.

"That you are a very, very terrifying monster," Bella said, her sarcasm marred by her breathlessness.

"Much better."

"Um, can I get up now?" But now she was my prisoner and I held her close to me.

I heard footsteps stop at the doorway.

"Can we come in," Alice asked from the darkness. I was pleased at her manners. Usually she just bounced right on in.

Bella twisted in my arms, still trying to free herself. I wasn't ready to let her go so I readjusted her so that she was sitting on my lap when Alice and Jasper appeared in the doorway. Bella blushed ferociously.

"Come in," I said to my siblings. Alice walked into the room and nodded her head in approval at our embrace.

_How cute. I swear, Edward, you are so cute together._

Jasper stood in the doorway, giving himself some distance from Bella as I had previously requested. He tasted the atmosphere and marveled how calm Bella and I were. In his lifetime, he'd never seen humans and vampires interact this way.

_Amazing. Utterly amazing, Edward._

"It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch," Alice stated as she folded herself on the floor. "And we came to see if you would share."

She was joking but I could feel Bella stiffen in my arms.

"Sorry, I don't believe I have enough to spare," I replied. Bella relaxed.

"Actually," Jasper said, feeling comfortable enough to enter the room, "Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball. Are you game?"

My eyes lit up. I hadn't played ball with my family in a long time. I'd missed the last game and was still getting hell from Emmett over it. But playing tonight would mean that I'd have to leave Bella. I wasn't sure I was ready to do that. Alice offered the solution to my hesitation when she chirped,

"Of course you should bring Bella."

_Of course._

"Do you want to go?" I asked, excited now.

"Sure. Um, where are we going?"

"We have to wait for thunder to play ball," I explained. "You'll see why."

"Will I need an umbrella?" Bella asked.

Alice, Jasper, and I burst out laughing. We never considered the rain. We didn't mind getting wet when we were playing. Even Rosalie didn't mind messing up her hair.

"Will she?" Jasper asked Alice.

She made a big show of closing her eyes and rubbing her temples like we'd seen many gypsies and fortune tellers doing in the past.

"No. The storm will hit over town. It should be dry enough in the clearing."

"Good then," Jasper said enthusiastically. "Let's go tell Emmett and Rose."

"Let's go see if Carlisle will come!" Alice hopped up and she and Jasper were at the door quickly, not bothering to walk a human pace for Bella's sake.

"Like you don't know," Jasper teased and they were swiftly on their way. Jasper inconspicuously closed the door behind them.

"What will we be playing?" Bella asked me.

"_You_ will be watching," I clarified. "We will be playing baseball."

"Vampires like baseball?"

"It's the American pastime."

Bella laughed and rolled her eyes. But she leaned back against me, resting her head on my shoulder.

"This is nice," she purred.

"Really?" I ached, aching to know what she meant. "What's the nice part?"

"Being here with you, seeing you in your natural environment, with your brothers and sisters," she paused, "and knowing that I'm welcome here. Knowing that I'm safe here."

"I'll never hurt you," I told her.

Bella leaned her head forward and I felt her warm soft lips brushing my cheek.

"I know," she whispered.

We sat like that for a long time, occasionally speaking, listening to the music. I ran my fingers through her long hair as she lightly caressed my arms, my chest, and occasionally, my face. I would have sat like that for hours but the sound of her stomach rumbling reminded me that it was lunch time and we had no food in the house.

"Maybe we should get you home," I suggested.

"Yes," Bella agreed but I could hear the reluctance in her voice. "Gotta have strength for the big game."

I helped her to her feet. "Come on, it won't be so bad."

We walked downstairs, hand in and. Rosalie was lying on the sofa, flipping through the television channels. She looked up sharply when Bella and I entered the living room.

"Um...hello," Bella said timidly.

Rosalie made no move to acknowledge her.

"Rosalie," I spoke sharply. "This is Bella." I hoped that she picked up the warning in my tone. She did.

"Hello...Bella..." Rose said again, adding an overdose of sweetness to her syrupy greeting. "Were you leaving so soon?"

"We'll be back," I said, guiding Bella away from the evil on the couch.

"That was strange," Bella stated uneasily when we were situated in the truck.

"Ignore Rosalie," I advised. "I do. Now, let's get you home and fed and perhaps, a little rest."

"Rest? Why do I need to rest?"

"Did you forget already?" I teased. "You have a big date tonight."


	6. Chapter 6 The Game

18. The Game

It was just beginning to drizzle when I turned onto Bella's street. Despite knowing what she knew about Alice, she looked out the window, doubtful that she wasn't going to get wet tonight.

When I turned my eyes back to the road an overwhelming fury overcame me. The black weathered Ford was back, parked in Charlie's driveway.

"Oh, for the love of God," I uttered under my breath.

Barely protected from the rain on the shallow front porch, Jacob Black stood impatiently behind his father's wheelchair. Billy's expression was impassive as a stone, watching me pull the truck to a stop at the curb. One glance at his father's face and Jacob was mortified.

_Keep it moving bloodsucker. Your time is up here._

I heard the warning clearly though Billy's lips didn't move. I am positive that the Quileutes had no idea of my special gift so Billy's random, angry warning thoughts came freely.

_What is wrong with him?_ Jacob wondered about his father. _And why is it any of our business who Bella dates? Though I wish she didn't have a boyfriend. Maybe if this goes like Dad plans, I'll invite her up to the res to hang out with me._

"This is crossing the line," I hissed furiously. I was so angry that I couldn't tell whose thoughts infuriated me more, Jacob's or Billy's.

"He came to warn Charlie?" Bella guessed, sounding more horrified than angry. But I wanted her to be mad when I nodded my head and stared at the Blacks.

"Let me deal with this," was Bella's suggestion. It was a good idea. I was having a serious problem controlling the rage I felt. It would not be good for me to get out the truck until the Blacks were well on their way back to La Push.

"That's probably best. Be careful, though. The child has no idea."

"Jacob is not that much younger than I am," Bella reminded me.

I grinned at her, my anger fading a little whenever I looked at her.

"Oh, I know." His age was not what I meant. Jacob was a child in other ways, only he and his father were not aware.

Bella sighed. She put her hand on the doorknob, gathering her wits to face the obstacle on her porch. I'm sure she had expected that we'd spend the next few hours together, however that idea was now marred by the presence of her father's best friend.

"Get them inside so I can leave," I instructed her. "I'll be back around dusk."

"Do you want my truck?" Bella offered, most likely because she didn't like the idea of me running in the rain.

"I could _walk_ home faster than this truck moves."

"You don't have to leave," Bella said wistfully.

But I _had _to. There was no way I could maintain any type of composure when I knew what Billy was intending to do.

"Actually, I do. After you get rid of them –," I threw a dark glance in the Blacks direction – "you still have to prepare Charlie to meet your new boyfriend."

Bella groaned at the reminder. "Thanks a lot."

"I'll be back soon," I promised. My eyes flashed to the porch where the Blacks were still staring at me. Both now wore angry expressions. It wouldn't make matters any worse so I leaned in to kiss Bella just under the edge of her jaw. Her heart beat frantically and for a moment, I was satisfied. Jacob would see…he would also see Bella's blush. He would know that she was mine.

"Soon," Bella stressed as she opened the door and stepped out into the rain. I watched as she half-ran through the rain and prayed that she would not trip and fall. There was no way I could not help her if she did.

Thankfully she made it to the porch without incident.

"Hey Billy. Hi Jacob. Charlie's gone for the day."

I listened to every word, spoken and unspoken.

"I hope you haven't been waiting long."

_How come I never noticed how cute she is?_

My hands tightened into fists at Jacob's thoughts. Not only was he admiring my Bella but he was generalizing her beauty. Cute did not describe her. Cute was an understatement.

"Not long," Billy said in a subdued tone. "I just wanted to bring this up." He looked down at the paper bag in his lap.

_And let your Dad know what you've been spending your time with, young lady,_ he added silently.

"Thanks," Bella replied graciously. "Why don't you come in for a minute and dry off?"

_Good girl,_ I thought. I was anxious to get home.

Bella unlocked the front door and waved Jacob and Billy in ahead of her. With one last glance at me, Bella stepped inside the house and shut the door.

Before the door was completely closed I had gotten out of the truck and was running towards the forest.

It only took a few minutes for me to get to my house. I was barely wet. Carlisle's Mercedes was still gone. He was at the hospital. My talk with him would have to wait, yet again.

Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme, though, were all present and gathered in the living room. Though they tried to look preoccupied, it was clear that they were waiting for me. A million reasons why filled my head. But it wasn't too serious. Carlisle wasn't there.

"Edward," Alice spoke first. "What were the Indians doing at Bella's?"

"Breaking the treaty again?" Emmett asked hopefully.

I should have known that Alice had been watching.

I sat down on a chair and looked around at my family. Everyone seemed a little _too_ anxious, preparing for a fight, I supposed.

"It appears that Billy Black thinks Chief Swan's little girl should not be associating with vampires. He went there to warn the Chief that Bella may be in over her head."

"Which she is," Rosalie commented from the same spot on the sofa. "What Bella Swan is doing is dangerous for us all. You may have some kind of super willpower but what about the rest of us? I mean, my God, Edward, did you smell her?"

I growled at Rose. Not long ago she was all for me killing Bella, when we thought she posed a serious threat. To know that Bella's delectable aroma enticed my sister was too much. If given the opportunity, if it came to it, Rosalie would kill Bella and get great pleasure out of doing so.

"Oh, calm down, Edward," Rosalie admonished. "You're overreacting, as usual. No one's going to hurt your little _girlfriend_…on purpose."

"Rose!" Esme scolded. "Do not antagonize your brother. I think we all need to calm down." She looked to Jasper for help and instantaneously we became calmer.

"Thank you. Now," Esme continued, "assuming I am correct, all Billy wants to do is to tell Charlie that Bella should not be hanging out with you. If so, there's no problem. Billy Black is a Quileute elder. He will never willingly break the treaty."

"What are you going to do, Edward?" Jasper asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing. I'm going to let Bella handle it. It's for the best that I don't interfere. Billy's kid drives me nuts."

"And tonight?" Emmett asked. "You're still playing with us, right?"

"Of course."

"But what if Chief Swan uses the good sense that God gave him and forbids Bella to come?" Rosalie questioned, her voice unbelievably obnoxious.

I turned towards Alice for the answer.

"He will. The Blacks will be gone by the time he gets home. Bella's going to cook dinner and tell him about you."

"How come you can see her future?" Rosalie asked.

"Seeing humans isn't so easy but I can do it. It's not as clear as yours, Rose, but a lot of Bella's future is entwined with Edward's. That makes it easier."

Rose made a noise in the back of her throat and turned her attention back to the television.

"Anyway," I said to the others. "What did you think of her?"

"You kinda kept her to yourself, Edward," Alice complained. "We didn't get a chance to spend any time with her. How can I become her best friend if you won't let me?"

"You'll have your chance, pouty," I teased. "It's up to Bella."

"Well I think she's a lovely girl," Esme said. "She's exactly the kind of girl I'd imagined you'd choose."

It was nice to know that out of everyone, Esme had not doomed me to a life of solitude, that she'd envisioned that I'd find someone. No one else had.

"Yeah, she seems nice," Jasper added, "from what I saw."

"This sucks," Emmett griped. "The first time that Edward brings a girl home, I don't get to meet her." He shot a glare at Rosalie who fidgeted on the sofa. She hated for Emmett to be even slightly upset with her.

"It's okay, Em. She's coming to watch us play tonight. You'll meet her later," I promised.

"And no funny business," he said to Rose. "Everyone likes this girl and I want to meet her so be nice."

"I will," Rosalie promised, even though it pained her to say it.

"I'm going to change," I announced. "I have to meet Chief Swan shortly."

I walked, at a regular pace, up to my room. Bella's scent lingered there. I changed into a pair of jeans and sweat shirt quickly, tossing the clothes into a new pile on the floor. I was lacing up my Nikes when Emmett walked into the room and made himself comfortable on the sofa.

"How do you feel kid? Nervous?

"Like you wouldn't believe," I admitted. "I've never met any anyone's parents before. You are so lucky you didn't have to go through this."

Emmett's laughter echoed through the room.

"How do you not remember? When I woke up…after the change, I didn't know any of you. Don't you remember how nervous and uncomfortable I was when I found out that Rose had a brother and that Carlisle was her _father?_"

It had been a long time since I'd thought about what it was like when Emmett joined us. With him it was different than it had been with me and then Esme. Carlisle had chosen us; Emmett was all Rosalie's doing. She pleaded with Carlisle to save him, even threatened to leave if he didn't. Carlisle was reluctant but his desire to save a human life outweighed everything else and he changed Emmett.

When Emmett became aware of what happed, he accepted it, especially since it meant that he could spend eternity with Rosalie. However, for the first few months he was a ball of nerves around Carlisle. Eventually he came around when he saw that Carlisle loved him like a son, he was a part of our family from the moment Rosalie came crashing through the woods carrying him.

"I remember now!" I laughed. "You kept calling Carlisle 'sir'."

"That's what a gentleman does," Emmett stated. "And if you know like I know, that's what you better do. After all, Charlie is the Chief of Police."

"Speaking of which," I started, "I'm going to need to borrow you Jeep."

Emmett's eyes widened. He never allowed anyone to drive his most prized possession, an anniversary gift from Rose.

"Am I coming with you?" he asked.

"No."

"Then why do you need my truck?"

"It's for Bella. She doesn't enjoy running. So the least I have to run with her, the better. And you know the Volvo isn't made for off-roading."

Emmett groaned. "If I let you do this…borrow my jeep and have Bella's scent soaking into the leather, you have to promise me that at least once this week, you'll hang out with me and Jazz instead of running over Bella's to watch her sleep."

Those were terms I could live with. We shook on it and he tossed me the keys.

"See you at the field," he called behind me."

It was still raining when I arrived at Bella's. I parked the Jeep at the curb and walked to the front door. I heard dishes clanging and a few seconds later I heard Charlie's voice.

"Leave the dishes, I can do them tonight. You baby me too much."

I rang the doorbell.

Seconds later heavy footsteps stalked down the hallway, followed by Bella's light ones, a half second behind. The door sung open and Charlie gave me a quick once over.

_Wow, this kid's in high school? What are they eating over there at the Cullens?_

"Come on in, Edward," Charlie opened the door a little wider, allowing me to pass.

"Thanks Chief Swan," I answered, stepping into the foyer.

"Go ahead and call me Charlie. Here I'll take your jacket."

"Thanks sir." I shrugged out of my wet raincoat.

"Have a seat there, Edward." Charlie motioned to the small living room. I looked at Bella, halfway shadowed by her father. She was very red.

I sat down in the only chair in the living room, forcing Bella to sit on the sofa next to her father. Emmett was right. This was uncomfortable.

Bella shot me a dirty look. I couldn't understand why she was so upset. Her father wasn't glaring at her.

"So I hear you're getting my girl to watch baseball."

"Yes sir," I said, remembering Emmett's advice, "that's the plan."

Charlie rubbed his face. Surely he was aware of how funny this situation was. Bella was in no way, athletic.

"Well, more power to you, I guess."

Charlie started to laugh. The idea of Bella even watching a baseball game was hilarious to him. He was also thinking how funny it was to see his daughter behave like such a typical teenage girl, willing to do anything to impress the boy she liked. I laughed too.

Bella did not find this so amusing and huffed as she stood up.

"Okay," she said angrily, "enough humor at my expense. Let's go."

She put on her jacket and walked down the hall. Charlie and I followed. Charlie glanced at me. I could only pick up partial thoughts but I came to the conclusion that he was not thrilled with his daughter going on a date with anyone.

"Not too late, Bell." I wondered if she liked his pet name for her.

"Don't worry Charlie, I'll have her home early," I promised.

"You take care of my girl, alright?" I heard the warning in his tone clearly.

"She'll be safe with me, I promise…sir," I added.

My sincerity was loud and clear. Charlie believed me. However, Bella didn't like being treated like she needed protection, not one bit. Charlie and I both knew better. With a vampire coven who adored her and the Chief of Police as her father, Bella was the most protected girl in the world…I hoped.

I followed Bella to the porch and almost crashed right into her when she stopped dean on the porch, gawking at Emmett's monster Jeep. It was intimidating, parked behind her beat up old truck.

The shiny red Jeep had tires that were almost as tall as Bella. There were metal guards over the headlights and tail-lights and four large spotlights, courtesy of Rosalie, attached to the crash bar.

Charlie was impressed, as any man would be, with Emmett's anniversary gift. I laughed at what his reaction would be if he knew that Rosalie was the one who picked it out.

"Wear your seatbelts," Charlie managed to say.

I nodded and followed Bella to the passenger door and opened it. Bella hesitated, trying to figure out how she was going to climb in. I looked to see if Charlie was watching us but he was too busy wondering about the Jeep's horsepower that he didn't even notice when I lifted Bella, with one hand, into to the truck.

For Charlie's sake, I walked at a normal human pace to the other side. I doubt he would have noticed if I had _flown_ over the Jeep. When I opened the door, Bella was struggling with the buckles of the harness.

"What's all this?" she asked, exasperated by the buckles.

"It's an off-roading harness."

"Uh-oh," was all she said as she continued to fiddle with the harness, making things much worse.

I reached over to help her. Easily I buckled her safely I, knowing the rain was too heavy for Charlie to see my hand linger at her neck and brushing along her collarbone. I grinned when Bella's heart started to race.

The engine roared when I turned the key. Charlie waved as I pulled away. I was excited to get going. Like my brothers, I was competitive but I also needed a release. Baseball would help release some of the pent up aggression I'd been feeling over the last few months. It would feel incredible to just let go and not have to worry about hurting Bella or having to concentrate on not letting my emotions get out of control.

"This is a…um…_big_ Jeep you have," Bella uttered.

"It's Emmett's," I explained. "I didn't think you'd want to run the whole way."

"Where do you keep this thing?"

"We remodeled one of the outbuildings into a garage." I hadn't shown Bella where we housed our cars for a multitude of reasons, mainly because Bella did not seem to be very interested in cars.

"Aren't you going to put on your seatbelt," she asked me.

I shot her a disbelieving look. After all this time she still didn't get that the safety concerns of humans just did not worry me.

Then, judging from her utterly livid expression, something sank in.

"Run the _whole_ way?" her voice raised a few octaves. "As in, we're still going to run part of the way?"

"_You're_ not going to run," was my answer.

"I'm going to be sick."

"Keep your eyes closed, you'll be fine." I leaned over to kiss the top of her head. But I stopped. The smell rising form her damp hair was overpowering. I groaned, the burning in my throat was painful.

"What?" Bella asked, puzzled.

"You smell so good in the rain."

"In a good way, or in a bad way?" she asked me cautiously, leaning slightly away.

"Both, always both."

There wasn't much left to say, nor was a decent conversation even possible as I drove through the downpour up a bumpy mountain path. Bella bounced in her seat like a jackhammer which I found slightly amusing. I'd never spent much time getting to know any humans. Now that I was around Bella so often I found their human frailties were quite funny.

We came to the end of the path and I was glad to see that the rain was a mere drizzle. Even though I'd be running, I didn't want Bella to get wet.

"Sorry, Bella," I said as I put the Jeep in park and cut the engine. "We have to go on foot from here."

"You know what? I'll just wait here."

"What happened to all your courage," I prodded. "You were extraordinary this morning."

Bella winced, recalling her last running experience.

"I haven't forgotten the last time yet."

I got out of the car, snickering to myself. _I could make her forget._ I opened the door and started unbuckling the harness.

"I'll get those," she protested. "You go on ahead."

I finished unbuckling her. "Hmmm, it seems I'm going to have to tamper with your memory."

Before she could react, I pulled her from the Jeep and set her on the ground.

"Tamper with my memory?" Bella asked nervously.

I was watching her reaction carefully. "Something like that," I answered as I placed my hands against Jeep and leaned forward, gently forcing her to back against the door. My eyes never left hers as I leaned forward even closer. Her heart pounded in her chest and the closeness of her body distracted me, but only for an instant. I _had_ to concentrate.

"Now," I whispered, "what exactly are you worrying about?"

It was working, my attempt to dazzle Bella into submission.

"Well, um, hitting a tree –" she gulped – "and dying. And then getting sick."

It was hard not to laugh at her weakening bravado. It only made me want her more.

I bent my head and touched my lips softly to the hollow at the base of Bella's throat. This was definitely my favorite part of her body and the part most sensitive to my touch.

"Are you still worried now?" I murmured against her warm soft skin. My blood was boiling as was Bella's. My plan was working.

"Yes," she struggled to mutter. "About hitting trees and getting sick."

Not quite the answer I was hoping for so I continued my exploration of her neck. I ran my nose over her throat to the base of her chin, inhaling her fiery scent.

"And now?"

"Trees," she gasped. "Motion sickness."

My face rose to kiss her eyelids. "Bell, you don't really think I would hit a tree, do you?" I asked, slightly offended.

"No, but I might." There was no hint of bravado or confidence in her voice.

I'd won!

I kissed slowly down her cheek, the sensation doing much more for me than Bella.

"Would I let a tree hurt you?"

"No." the word was barely audible.

"You see," I whispered, moving my lips across hers. "There's nothing to be afraid of, is there?"

"No," she finally gave in.

_A sweet victory for me!_

I took her face in my hands and kissed her passionately. There was no excuse for my sudden urge but Bella's was much worse. Once again her arms tightened around my neck, pulling me closer to her. A powerful electric current burned through my body, causing me to hold her tighter, to kiss her harder, to move my face from her lips to the pulsating vein throbbing.

_STOP!_

I forced myself away from her.

"Damn it Bella!" I gasped, out of breath, if that was even a possibility. "You'll be the death of me, I swear you will."

She kneeled over, bracing her hands against her knees for support. She was struggling to breathe too.

"You're indestructible," she mumbled.

"I might have believed that before I met you," I grumbled. "Now let's get out of here before I do something really stupid!"

I reached for her and swung her across my back. She locked her legs and arms around me, a gesture meant to show me that she, too, was angry. I felt nothing. She was weightless to me.

"Don't forget to close your eyes."

And I took off. I glided through the mountains at a blinding speed, hoping that Bella had taken my advice and closed her eyes. I did not want a repeat of yesterday, especially in front of my siblings who would tease her about it for days.

When we got near the clearing I stopped, yards away from the clearing where my family was. Bella was still holding on tightly so I reached behind me and brushed her windblown hair.

"It's over Bella."

She stiffly unlocked her stranglehold, refusing my help and slipped to the ground. Her bewildered expression was hilarious and I doubled over in laughter. Bella tried to ignore me but she looked so comical, brushing dirt and bracken off of her jacket, I only laughed harder.

Annoyed Bella began to stalk off in the wrong direction. I grabbed her around the waist before she could get too far.

"Where are you going Bella?"

"To watch a baseball game," she muttered icily. "You don't seem to be interested in playing anymore, but I'm sure the others will have fun without you."

"You're going the wrong way," I informed her.

Without looking at me, Bella turned and stalked off in the opposite direction. I caught her again.

"Don't be mad. I couldn't help myself. You should have seen your face," I chuckled.

Bella raised her eyebrows at me. "Oh, you're the only one who's allowed to get mad?" She was very angry.

"I wasn't made at you," I explained, careful not to laugh or even snicker again.

"'_Bella you'll be the death of me_'?" she quoted sourly.

"That was simply a fact," I told her.

"You were mad," she insisted.

"Yes," I agreed.

"But you just said –"

All teasing aside now, I stared intensely at the small girl beside me.

"That I wasn't made at you," I finished. "Can't you see that, Bella? Don't you understand?"

"See what?" she demanded.

"I'm never angry with you – how could I be? Brave, trusting…warm as you are."

_How could she think it was her? It is never her._

Yes, sometimes I was impatient with her weaknesses, her clumsiness, her unruly human reactions, but they were the same qualities that I adored about her. But never could those things make me angry with her.

I looked at her, softening my eyes as I cupped her face in my hands.

"I infuriate myself," I told her gently. "The way I can't seem to keep from putting you in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes, I truly hate myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to –"

Out of nowhere, Bella placed her hand over my mouth, cutting me off.

"Don't," she whispered.

I moved her hand to my cheek, feeling the warmth permeate my cold skin. I looked deep into her lovely brown eyes and saw the love she felt for me reflecting back at me.

"I love you," I whispered. It was the first time I'd actually said, not implied, those three words.

"It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing but it's still true."

I didn't wait for her to return the expression. I could already see it in her eyes. Instead I leaned forward.

"Now, please try to behave yourself," I said and I bent to kiss her again. This time she held perfectly still. When it was over she sighed longingly.

"You promised Chief Swan that you would have me home early, remember? We'd better get going."

I stood straight and still. "Yes, ma'am."

I released her but held on to one hand as I led her thought the tall wet ferns and draping moss, around a massive hemlock tree into the enormous field, nestled in the lap of the Olympic mountains that we used for baseball and football.

Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie were already there, sitting on a bare outcropping of rock. Jasper and Alice were playing catch and Carlisle was marking bases. I noticed the awed look on Bella's face as she stared at Carlisle. I admit, he was placing the bases about five times farther apart than regulation but there was no need to explain. In a few minutes Bella would understand why.

When we came into view, the three on the rocks rose. Esme walked towards us. Rosalie strolled off toward the field without even an acknowledging glance. I felt Bella quiver at Rosalie's obvious snub. Emmett, after a long look at Rosalie's back, followed Esme.

"Was that you we heard, Edward?" Esme asked – out loud for Bella's benefit – as she approached.

"It sounded like a bear choking," Emmett added.

Bella smiled at my mother. "That was him."

"Bella was being _unintentionally_ funny," I replied.

Out of the corner of my eyes I saw an annoying flash of white and within seconds Alice was by Bella's side, grinning happily.

"It's time," she announced, just as a deep rumble of thunder shook the forest.

"Eerie, isn't it?" Emmett said with an ease of familiarity and winked at Bella.

_I never had a little sister before. This is gonna be fun. She's cute too. Nice choice, Edward._

"Let's go," Alice chirped, reaching for Emmett's hand. They took off towards the field. Bella smiled after them.

"Are you ready for some ball?" I asked, eager to join my team on the field.

"Go team!"

I mussed her hair and took off after my brother and sister, quickly overtaking them. Emmett was big and strong but I am much faster than them all.

Bella was staring at us as we ran and I could still hear her and Esme's voices. I listened to what they were talking about as they walked down to the playing field.

Esme kept a few feet between them, not wanting to frighten her. I wanted to yell across the field that it wasn't necessary but I didn't have to. Bella closed the gap between them on her own.

"You don't play with them?" I heard Bella ask shyly.

"No, I prefer to referee – I like keeping them honest," Esme answered.

"Do they like to cheat then?"

Emmett heard Bella's question and waited for Esme to rat him out since he was the main one. But Esme remained diplomatic and neutral.

"Oh yes – you should hear the arguments they get into! Actually I hope you don't, you would think they were raised by a pack of wolves."

Bella's laughter rang like a bell through the field.

"You sound like my mom."

"Well, I do think of them as my children in most ways. I could never get over my mothering instincts – did Edward tell you I had lost a child?"

I listened for Bella's surprised response. I had chosen not to elaborate with Esme's extremely personal misfortune when I told Bella that Esme had _fallen_ from a cliff.

The truth – which Esme was telling Bella now – was that Esme, brokenhearted at the early death of her first and only son, had in fact, _leaped_ from the cliff on her own accord. She had not wanted to live in a world where an infant could be taken, just days after his birth. However, Carlisle gave her a new life and in it she had five children.

"Edward…" I paused after catching the practice pitch that Alice threw to me when I heard Esme say my name.

"…was the first of my new sons. I've always thought of him that way, even though he's older than I, in one way at least.

"That's why I'm so happy that he's found you dear." The endearment sounded very natural on Esme's lips. "He's been the odd man out for far too long; it's hurt me to see him alone.

"You don't mind then?" Bella hesitantly asked. "That I'm….all wrong for him?"

_Edward, come on! Focus!_ Alice practically yelled in her head. I ran to my position, deep in left field, still listening for Esme's response. I had no idea that Bella felt that she was wrong for me when, in fact, it was just the opposite.

"No," Esme answered thoughtfully. "You're what he wants. It will work out somehow."

I smiled, thankful that no one was looking at me, as another peal of thunder clapped.

"Alright," Esme called. "Batter up!"

Alice stood on the mound, pitching while Carlisle played the bases and I covered the field. She certainly wasn't the best pitcher but it made the most sense. Carlisle and I were much faster than my dainty little sister.

Jasper was catching and Emmett was at bat, swinging the bat like he was a professional. Showing off for our guest was more accurate.

Rather than wind up, Alice held the ball in both hands – we didn't use baseball gloves and mitts – at her waist, and then – like the strike of a cobra, her right hand flicked out and the ball slammed into Jasper's hand.

"Strike!" Alice cheered. Emmett scowled.

"If they don't hit it, it's a strike," Esme explained to Bella.

Emmett, now more poised at the plate, was waiting on the next pitch. This time he connected with the ball. The crack was thunderous and echoed off the mountains. Immediately Bella understood the necessity of the thunderstorm.

The ball rose and flew deep into the forest as Emmett raced around the bases. I took off into the woods at full speed ahead of the ball. Seconds later I sprang from the forest, the ball in my upraised hands.

"Out!" Esme called. She turned to Bella, whose eyes were wide with shock.

"Emmett hits the hardest but Edward runs the fastest."

The inning continued and Bella soon experienced the other need for the thunderstorm. Jasper hit a ground ball towards Carlisle. Carlisle fielded the ball and raced Jasper to first base. When they collided it sounded like two massive boulders crashing together. Bella jumped and stared at them with concern.

"Safe!" Esme called as Carlisle brushed dirt from his pants.

"Don't worry, Bella, I didn't hurt the old guy. He's okay," Jasper joked.

Carlisle hissed playfully. "I'll show you old."

The game continued on. The other team was up by one after Rosalie tagged up and ran the bases after Emmett tried to hit one out of the forest. He tried again but I caught it for the third out.

I ran to Bella first. She seemed to be enjoying herself.

"What do you think?" I asked the first and only spectator of Cullen baseball.

"One thing's for sure, I'll never be able to sit through dull old Major League Baseball again."

"And it sounds like you did so much of that before," I teased.

"I am a little disappointed," she replied.

"Why?"

"Well, it would be nice if I could find just one thing you didn't do better than everyone else on the planet."

That would be difficult to do. I've had almost a century to perfect my talents but I didn't say that. Esme would be outraged.

"I'm up," I said instead and kissed her forehead.

"Come on batter!" Emmett called. "Stop gossiping with your girlfriend and play ball!"

I rolled my eyes and stepped to the plate. Jasper's pitch was right down the middle and I was able to hit it hard and low, away from Rosalie playing the bases. I made it to second before Emmett could get the ball back into play.

"Hurry up slowpoke," I ribbed. "Storm's not going to last all night!"

"Be quiet Edward. Just hope you get to third."

On Jasper's next pitch Carlisle knocked one so far that I jogged into home plate, irritating both Rosalie and Emmett. Carlisle came around the bases right behind me. We were up by one! Alice slapped us girly high fives.

"Try it again," Rosalie called. "I bet you don't get to first!"

"Yeah, right, who's gonna beat me there? You?" I fired back.

"Hell yes!" she hollered back.

"Yeah right, Rose," Alice joined in. "You know if you run too fast, you'll slip and get mud in your hair."

"That's enough," Esme scolded us. "Play nice or we're going home!"

Alice was at bat and turned around to make a playful face at Esme. She and Bella laughed. Esme mouthed 'I told you' to Bella who nodded in agreement.

The game continued in much of the same manner, with the score changing constantly. The thundered rumbled on, and we continued to play, never tiring.

Carlisle was up to bat; I was catching, when Alice suddenly gasped. I looked back at her and saw in her mind the one thing I had feared. I ran to Bella before the others noticed something was wrong.

"Alice?" Esme spoke.

"I didn't see – I couldn't tell," she whispered. The others ran in from the field and we were all gathered around Alice.

"What is it, Alice?" Carlisle asked with the calm voice of authority.

"They were traveling much quicker than I thought. I can see I had the perspective wrong before," she murmured mournfully.

Jasper leaned over her, protecting her, assuring her that it wasn't her fault.

"What happened?"

"They heard us playing, and it changed their path," Alice answered, contrite, as if she was responsible for the visitors Carlisle had informed me of earlier changing their minds. All eyes were on Bella for a second then back on Alice.

"How soon?" Carlisle asked me.

I concentrated, trying to see if I could hear them in the forest.

_Hurry, they've stopped. I want to play! _

"Less than five minutes," I answered grimly. "They're running – they want to play."

"Can you make it?" Carlisle asked me, his eyes flickering towards Bella.

"No, not carrying –" I stopped short, not wanting to frighten her unnecessarily. "Besides, the last thing we need is for them to catch the scent and start hunting."

"How many?" Emmett asked Alice.

"Three," she answered tersely.

"Three!" he scoffed. "Let them come." As usual Emmett welcomed a fight.

For a split second Carlisle deliberated. We wouldn't make a move before he decided what we would do. We all, with the exception of Emmett, stared at Carlisle with anxious eyes.

"Let's just continue the game," he decided. "Alice said they were simply curious."

The others made their way back to the field, much slower than before. We all were a bit apprehensive. We'd had others come through our territory, curious about our nature. Usually it ended well, only once was there a problem. I didn't want any problems now, especially since there was a human present.

"You catch, Esme," I said. "I'll call it now." I planted myself in front of Bella. My one goal was to keep her safe and I'd failed.

"Take your hair down," I said, keeping my voice low. She was pale in the fading light and with her hair down she could possibly pass for one of us, if the others didn't stay too long.

"The others are coming now?" she asked even though it must have been obvious.

"Yes, stay very still," I ordered, "keep quiet, and don't move from my side, please." I brushed her hair forward, around her face, hoping that the illusion would be enough.

"That won't help," Alice said softly. "I could smell her across the field."

"I know," I said, more frustrated than I'd ever imagined.

The others started the game back up while I listened for the newcomers.

"What did Esme ask you?" Bella whispered in my ear.

I didn't want to tell her but I had no choice. "Whether they were thirsty."

The seconds ticked by; the game progressed with apathy now. No one dared to hit harder than a bunt, and Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper hovered infield. I kept my eyes on the forest.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I muttered with all the remorse and disgust I felt. "It was stupid, irresponsible, to expose you like this. I'm so sorry."

I wanted to say something else but my words caught in my throat and my eyes automatically zeroed in on right field. I took a half step in front of Bella. Carlisle and the others turned in the same direction, hearing the sounds of their passage the same as I.


	7. Chapter 7 The Hunt

19. The Hunt

They emerged one by one from the forest, about a dozen meters apart. The first male into the clearing fell back, allowing the other male to take the front, an act that clearly displayed who led the pack. The third was a woman, stealth and cat-like with a head full of shocking red hair.

"Do you know them?" Esme whispered to Carlisle.

"Never seen them before," was his answer.

They closed ranks before they continued cautiously towards the eight of us, exhibiting the natural respect of a troop of predators as it encounters a larger, unfamiliar group of its own kind. They were dressed like backpackers in jeans and button down shirts. Their clothes were frayed, proving that they were nomads, an uncivilized bunch. Their sharp, blood red eyes carefully took us in, our more polished and urbane stance. The sight of their eyes caused Rosalie to inhale sharply. It had been a long time since we'd seen those eyes.

Carlisle, flanked by Emmett and Jasper, stepped guardedly forward to meet them. Without any seeming communication between them, they each straightened into a more casual, erect stance.

The dark haired one, smiling, stepped toward Carlisle.

"We thought we heard a game," he said in a relaxed, non threatening voice. I detected a slight French accent.

"I'm Laurent," he continued. "These are Victoria and James."

"I'm Carlisle. This is my family, Emmett and Jasper, Rosalie, Esme and Alice, Edward and Bella." He pointed us out in groups, deliberately not calling attention to us as individuals. He intended to show them right off, that we were together. We were one.

"Do you have room for a few more players?" Laurent asked.

"Actually, we were just finishing up," Carlisle matched Laurent's friendly tone. "But we'd certainly be interested another time. Are you planning to stay in the area for long?"

"We're headed north, in fact, but we were curious to see who was in the neighborhood. We haven't run into any company in a long time."

"No," Carlisle replied, "this region is usually empty except for us and the occasional visitor, like yourselves."

_So far, so good_, Esme thought.

But I barely heard her. I had my eyes trained on the other two vampires. I felt a sense of calm wash over me and I knew that Jasper was trying to keep control of the situation.

"What's your hunting range?" Laurent asked casually. He was assuming that we hunted like they did.

Carlisle ignored the assumption behind the inquiry. Most assumed this…before they noticed our eyes.

"The Olympic Range here, up and down the Coast Ranges on occasion. We keep a permanent residence nearby. There's another permanent settlement like ours up near Denali."

Laurent staggered back slightly in surprise.

"Permanent? How do you management that?" _I've never heard of such a thing!_

"Why don't you come back to our home with us and we can talk comfortably," Carlisle suggested. "It's a rather long story."

_Say yes,_ I thought. It was a long story that would allow me to get Bella far away from the danger the three savage monsters created.

James and Victoria looked at one another in astonishment at the mention of the word "home" but Laurent was much more controlled.

"That sounds very interesting, and welcome. We've been on the hunt all the way down from Ontario, and we haven't had the chance to clean up in a while," he said while appraising Carlisle's dapper appearance.

"Please don't take offense, but we'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from hunting in this immediate area. We have to stay inconspicuous, you understand," Carlisle explained.

Laurent nodded. "Of course. We certainly won't encroach on your territory. We just ate outside of Seattle anyway," he laughed.

_Disgusting! _Rosalie thought. _Why don't you just leave?_

"We'll show you the way if you'd like to run with us – Emmett and Alice, you can go with Edward and Bella to get the Jeep," Carlisle added, taking his eyes off me.

_Hurry and get her out of here while things are going well._

Three things happened while Carlisle was speaking. A light breeze ruffled Bella's hair, swirling her scent across the field like a deadly gas. The other male, James, whipped his head towards Bella, nostrils flaring and took a deep breath. And I stiffened, and tightened my grip on Bella's waist.

James took one step forward and all seven of us Cullens prepared for a vicious fight. I bared my teething, crouching defensively, a feral snarl ripped from my throat.

"What's this?" Laurent exclaimed. James leaned slightly to the left and I shifted with him. There was no way he was getting past me.

"She's with us," Carlisle steered his answer towards James.

Laurent seemed to catch the scent less powerfully than James but awareness now dawned on his face.

"You brought a snack?" he asked, taking an involuntary step forward.

I snarled, even more ferociously. I knew their kind well. I'd ripped each of them to shreds if either of them took one more step towards Bella. Laurent stepped back.

"I said she's with us," Carlisle stated in an even more harsh tone.

"But she's human," Laurent protested, astounded at the idea.

"Yes," Emmett challenged from Carlisle's side, his eyes on James. James slowly straightened out of his crouch but his eyes never left Bella. I stood protectively in front of her, daring him to make another move.

_Give it up kid, she's mine._

I growled deep inside my throat.

Laurent finally spoke, his tone soothing – trying to defuse the sudden hostility emanating from me and Emmett. Even Rosalie was crouched in her fighting stance glaring at the female.

"It appears that we have a lot to learn about each other.

"Indeed," Carlisle said coolly.

"But we'd like to accept your invitation." Laurent's eyes flicked towards Bella and I moved a step forward. "And, of course, we will not harm the human girl. We won't hunt in your range, as I said."

James glanced in disbelief and aggravation and exchanged a quick look with Victoria that none of missed.

_That's what he thinks. He's not _my _leader._

Carlisle read the anger on my face. He knew that all was not well. How I wished someone else could hear what I heard.

"We'll show you the way. Jasper, Rosalie, Esme?" he called. They gathered together, blocked the others' view of Bella. Alice was instantly at our side and Emmett fell back slowly his eyes on James as he backed towards us.

"Let's go," Bella.

The whole time Bella had not roomed, her feet were planted in the ground, terrified into absolute immobility. I had to pull her sharply to break her trance. We took off in a slow jog with Alice and Emmett close behind us, hiding Bella from view.

Once we were into the trees I slung her over my back without breaking stride. I took off, Alice and Emmett on my heels. The sense of exhilaration I usually felt while running was absent. In its place was a fury that consumed every inch of me and drove me to run faster than I ever have.

We reached the Jeep within minutes and I barely slowed as I flung Bella in the backseat. I didn't have time to be gentle. I had to get her away...far away.

"Strap her in," I ordered Emmett when he slid in beside her.

Alice was already in the front seat when I started the engine and swerved backward, spinning around to face the winding path. A string of profanities flew out of my mouth so fast that even Alice looked startled.

Behind me, Emmett expressed the same sentiments. With Alice and Emmett watching the road, I hit the gas and sped down the main road, south...away from Forks...away from the evil sadistic vampire that insisted that she was his...and would do anything to get her.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked but no one answered. I would not, could not bear to reveal my plan. Not with James running so close behind us.

"Dammit Edward!" she yelled. "Where are you taking me?"

"We have to get you away from here – far away – now." I didn't look back, fearful that her pleading eyes would change my plan.

"Turn around! You have to take me home!" Bella shouted unreasonably and struggled with the harness, tearing at the straps.

"Emmett," I said grimly and he held her harms in a tight grasp to keep her from fighting.

It pained me to hear her plead, to have to go to these measures. But I had no choice. I'd placed her in harm's way and it was my duty to make her safe.

"No! Edward! No, you can't do this!"

"I have to, Bella, now please be quiet."

"I won't," she insisted stubbornly. "You have to take me back – Charlie will call the FBI! They'll be all over your family – Carlisle and Esme! They'll have to leave, to hide forever!"

"Calm down, Bella," I told her coldly. "We've been there before."

"Not over me, you don't. You're not ruining everything over me!"

Alice spoke for the first time. "Edward, pull over."

I glared at her and sped up. I was not slowing down.

"Edward, let's just talk this through."

"You don't understand," I roared, frustration taking over. "He's a tracker, Alice, did you see that? He's a tracker!"

The silence from the backseat told me that Emmett knew exactly what I meant. A tracker was the worst kind of vampire. He lived for the hunt and there was only one way to get one off the trail of the thing that he wanted.

"Pull over, Edward." Alice's tone was authoritative. But I sped up and the speedometer inched passed one-twenty. I didn't have to listen to her. She was not Carlisle.

"Do it Edward."

"Listen to me, Alice. I saw his mind. Tracking is his passion, his obsession – and he wants her, Alice – her specifically. He begins the hunt tonight."

"He doesn't know where –"

"How long do you think it will take him to cross her scent in town?" I interrupted her. "His plan was already set before the words were out of Laurent's mouth!"

From the backseat, Bella gasped. "Charlie! You can't leave him there! You can't leave him!"

"She's right," Alice said.

I slowed the car. I hadn't even thought about Bella's father. The tracker was sure to head to his house first.

"Let's just look at our options for a minute," Alice tried to reason with me.

I slammed on the breaks and the Jeep screeched to a stop on the shoulder of the highway.

"There are no options!" I hissed.

"I'm not leaving Charlie," Bella yelled.

"We have to take her back," Emmett said.

"No!"

"He's no match for us, Edward. He won't be able to touch her."

"He'll wait.

Emmett smiled. "I can wait too."

"You didn't see – you don't understand," I told all of them. "Once he commits to a hunt he's unshakeable. We'd have to kill him."

That was Emmett's plan. "That's an option.

"And the female. She's with him. If it turns into a fight, the leader will go with them, too."

"There's enough of us."

"There's another option," Alice said quietly and a quick flash of Bella, a newborn vampire, flashed through Alice's mind.

"There – is – no – other – option," I snarled at her.

_Why not? It's going to happen Edward. Why not now? The tracker won't want her then._

I glared at Alice and she glared back. The silence in the car lasted for a long minute as we stared at each other.

"Does anyone want to hear my plan?"

"No," I growled. Alice had had enough and hissed at me.

"Listen," Bella pleaded. "You take me back..."

"No."

"You take me back," she continued. "I tell my dad I want to go home to Phoenix. I pack my bags. We wait until this tracker is watching, and then we run. He'll follow us and leave Charlie alone. Charlie won't call the FBI on your family. Then you can take me any damned place you want."

All eyes were on Bella. Emmett and Alice actually looked stunned.

_Good plan,_ Emmett thought.

"It's not a bad idea, really," he said aloud.

"It might work – and we simply can't leave her father unprotected. You know that," Alice said.

Everyone looked at me, waiting for my response. I shook my head.

"It's too dangerous – I don't want him within a hundred miles of her."

"Edward," Emmett said, now exasperated by stubbornness, "he's not getting through us."

Alice thought for a minute. "I don't see him attacking. He'll try to wait for us to leave her alone."

"It won't take long for him to realize that's not going to happen," I protested.

"I _demand_ you take me home," Bella said, trying to sound firm and unafraid. It didn't work; instead it drove me more insane. It went against everything that I was trying to do. How could I appease her and yet, keep her safe. It wasn't possible.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my fingers to my temples, attempting to block the incessant thoughts of my brother and sister.

"Please," I heard Bella say in a much smaller voice.

I didn't look up. "You're leaving tonight, whether the tracker sees or not. You tell Charlie that you can't stand another minute in Forks. Tell him whatever story works. Pack the first things your hands touch, and then get in your truck. I don't care what he says to you. You have fifteen minutes. Do you hear me? Fifteen minutes from the time you cross the doorstep."

I started the Jeep, angry that I had no choice but to give in to Bella's insane demands. I spun the vehicle around, tires squealing.

_Watch it man, this isn't your car!_

A few minutes passed in silence as I sped back towards Forks.

"This is how it's going to happen." If we were going to go along with Bella's absurd plan, we were going to do it my way.

"When we get to the house, if the tracker is not there, I will walk her to the door. Then she has fifteen minutes. Emmett, you take the outside of the house. Alice, you get the truck. I'll be inside as long as she is. After she's out, you two can take the Jeep home and tell Carlisle."

"No way," Emmett cut in. "I'm with you."

"Think it through, Emmett. I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"Until we know how far this is going to go, I'm with you."

_I'm stronger than you, little brother. Keep that in mind. You're going to need me._

I sighed. "If the tracker is there," I continued, "we keep driving."

"We're going to make it there before him," Alice spoke with confidence.

I saw that she was right.

"What are we going to do with the Jeep?" she asked.

"You're driving it home," I told her. It was bad enough that I had Emmett tagging along. Jasper would never forgive me for taking Alice away. Rosalie's wrath I could deal with, after all, Emmett was strong and most likely the least of us to be in any danger. Alice on the other hand, was too small and too precious.

"No, I'm not," Alice replied calmly.

The stream of profanities rolled off my tongue again. This was too much!

"We can't all fit in my truck," Bella whispered. I pretended not to hear.

"I think you should let me go alone," she said even more quietly. This I could not ignore.

"Bella, please just do this my way, just this once.

"Listen, Charlie's not an imbecile," she protested. "If you're not in town tomorrow, he's going to get suspicious.

"That's irrelevant. We'll make sure he's safe, and that's all that matters."

"Then what about this tracker? He saw the way you acted tonight. He's going to think you're with me, wherever you are."

"Edward," Emmett insisted, "listen to her. I think she's right."

"Yes, she is," Alice agreed.

"I can't do that."

"Emmett should stay too," Bella continued. "He definitely got an eyeful of Emmett."

"What?" Finally a reasonable reaction from my brother.

"You'll get a better crack at him if you stay," Alice agreed with Bella again. This was nerve-racking in unfeasible ways.

"You think I should let her go alone?" I asked Alice, unable to believe that everyone in the car was turning against me and taking _Bella's _side.

"Of course not," Alice answered. "Jasper and I will take her."

"I can't do that," I repeated.

"Hang out here for a week –" Bella started but amended her statement when she saw the expression on my face "– a few days. Let Charlie see you haven't kidnapped me, and lead this James on a wild-goose chase. Make sure he's completely off my trail. Then come and meet me. Take a roundabout route, of course, and then Jasper and Alice can go home."

"Meet you where?"

"Phoenix."

"No," I said impatiently. "He'll hear that's where you're going."

"And you'll make it look like that's a ruse, obviously. He'll know that we'll know that he's listening. He'll never believe I'm actually going where I say I'm going."

"She's diabolical," Emmett chuckled.

"And if that doesn't work?" I asked, ignoring Emmett's comment.

"There are several million people in Phoenix."

"It's not that hard to find a phone book."

"I won't go home."

"Oh?" This was too much, too dangerous.

"I'm quite old enough to get my own place."

"Edward, we'll be with her," Alice reminded me.

"What are you going to do in Phoenix?" I asked her scathingly.

"Stay indoors."

"I kind of like it," Emmett was thinking about cornering James.

"Shut up Emmett."

"Look, if we try to take him down while she's still around, there's a much better chance that some will get hurt – she'll get hurt, or you will, trying to protect her. Now, if we get him alone..." he trailed off with a menacing grin.

We were back in Forks now and the Jeep crawled slowly through town as I considered the plan. It had to work. It actually _was _the best plan.

"Bella," I said softly. Emmett and Alice looked out their windows. "If you let anything happen to yourself – anything at all – I'm holding you personally responsible. Do you understand that?"

"Yes," she answered softly.

I turned to Alice. "Can Jasper handle this?"

"Give him some credit, Edward," she rolled her eyes. "He's been doing very, very well, all things considered."

"Can you handle this?"

Alice bared her teeth at me and let loose a guttural snarl that left poor Bella cowering in the back sear. I just smiled at her.

"But keep your opinions to yourself."


	8. Chapter 8 Goodbyes

20. Goodbyes

_I should have let Emmett drive. _

That was my one thought as I drove down the road to Bella's house. Though we – Alice, Emmett, and I – were acutely alert and highly tense, I wished I could do more. Luckily I knew the street well and could scan the woods often without hitting anything or anyone.

Although, I did wish that James would dart out into the road. I would not hesitate to hit_ him_.

Alice and Emmett were concentrating on listening for the tracker and his mate. But Bella...poor Bella...was on the verge of losing it.

I pulled slowly up to Bella's house, a few yards away from truck. If the tracker was watching, he wouldn't be able to tell it was us at first. For a few moments, I stared out the window, search through every shadow, listening to every sound. The night was quiet, the loudest thing was the sound of the crickets. That meant little to me. Vampires by nature – especially a tracker – are immensely quick and silent. No, I did not expect to hear anything. What I was hoping for was to catch his scent. Though he could move like lightening, he'd be sure to stir the air. If or when that happened I'd be ready. Still, I couldn't sense anything amiss. Neither could Alice or Emmett.

I looked towards the house. All the lights were on. I didn't have to strain to hear what was going on inside of the Swan house.

Charlie was waiting on his daughter.

He was watching television, SPORTSCENTER, to be exact, catching the highlights of the real baseball games

_I know I heard that big Jeep pull up...couldn't mistake that kind of engine. I wonder what's taking her so long._

For a millisecond, Charlie actually considered stepping out on the porch to investigate but decided against it, thinking that Bella would never forgive him for embarrassing her that way.

I cut the engine and the neighborhood was eerily silent.

"He's not here," I came to the conclusion. "Let's go." I motioned for Emmett to undo Bella's harness.

She looked fearful and upset.

"Don't worry, Bella," Emmett said in a low but cheerful voice, "we'll take care of things here quickly."

The stress of the night and what was still to come finally caught up with Bella and her eyes filled with tears.

"Alice, Emmett..." I looked towards the forest. They climbed out of the car, taking my silent command like soldiers, moving like thieves in the night. No one was watching so there was no need to...no way we could...move at human speed. I opened Bella's door and took her hand, helping her down and then walked her swiftly towards the house.

"Fifteen minutes," I warned, speaking so only she could hear.

We stopped at the porch. Bella turned to me and took my face in her hands.

"I love you," she said in a low, intense voice. "I will always love you, no matter what happens now."

I didn't understand why she thought that I'd let her get hurt. I would not.

"Nothing is going to happen to you, Bella," I told her, just as fiercely.

"Just follow the plan, okay? Keep Charlie safe for me. He's not going to like me very much after this, and I want to have the chance to apologize later."

I knew what I was to do. No one, not Charlie, not Bella....no one, was going to be hurt on account of me and my feelings for her. I would not allow it. I only wished Bella realized that.

"Get inside, Bella. We have to hurry," I said urgently.

"One more thing," she whispered passionately. "Don't listen to another word I say tonight." I didn't have time to decipher the meaning behind her words before she stretched up on her toes and kiss me with as much force as she could. Then she turned and kicked the door open.

"Go away, Edward!" she yelled, and slammed the door in my face.

For a second I was surprised and hurt but only for a second. Realization of what she was doing hit me and I took my cue.

I raced across the lawn and scaled the house. I climbed through her bedroom window just in time to hear her yell at Charlie to leave her alone and her footsteps pounded up the steps. She burst into her room, slamming the door shut behind her. She locked it and dove for her bed, where she retrieved a large duffel bag. I was impressed. Bella had never been so quick and somewhat graceful in my presence.

"Bella, are you okay? What's going on?" Charlie questioned from the other side of the door.

_I'll kill him dead if he hurt her._ I heard that loud and clear.

"I'm going _home_!" Bella screamed.

"Did he hurt you?"

"NO!"

I tried not to let her words distract me – I was told not to listen, after all – so I started going through her drawers, tossing handfuls of random clothes to her, which she threw into her bag.

"Did he break up with you," Charlie's voice was frightened now.

"NO!"

"What happened, Bella?"

"I broke up with _him!_"

_Ouch._ I didn't want to hear this after all. I had to get out of there.

"I'll be in the truck," I whispered. "Go."

I slightly pushed Bella to the door and disappeared out of the window. A quick scan of the area told me that Emmett and Alice were running...looking...hunting. Something was amiss.

I saw and heard the problem at the same time.

_He's here, Edward!_ Emmett called as he raced through the woods. _I'm going after him. Get Bella to the house first!_

I ran to Bella's truck, prepared to drive it straight to the door if she was in any danger. Charlie would just have to deal with knowing the truth. We could decide what to do about that later.

Soon Bella was standing on the porch; bag in hand, her face a mask of defiance, though I knew that beneath it, she was hurting badly for the words that she was saying to Charlie.

"Just let me go, Charlie. It didn't work out, okay? I really, really _hate_ Forks."

Her words finally sunk in as Charlie stood on the doorstep, stunned and motionless.

_What did I do wrong? She's never coming back, is she?_

The man's thoughts, the heartbreaking words of a father losing his only child, rang familiar in my ears. They were practically the same thoughts Carlisle had when I left.

Bella literally streaked to the truck, wildly and fearful, as if any minute some unseen force could snatch her. She threw her bag in the bed and got in.

"I'll call you tomorrow!" she yelled then gunned the engine and peeled out of the drive, faster than I'd ever seen her drive the relic.

She was driving way too fast, with too much emotion. Tears were pouring down her face, clouding her vision.

"Pull over," I said as her house and father disappeared behind us.

"I can drive."

I knew better. I gripped her waist and pushed her foot off the gas pedal, replacing it with mine. Pulling her across my lap and taking the wheel took skill but I had no other choice. I would not allow Bella to kill herself, trying to drive and cry.

"You wouldn't be able to find the house," was the excuse I made up for taking over.

Bella tried to remain composed, though I could see she was terrified, especially when she turned to stare out the back window, in horror, as the lights from Emmett's Jeep lit up the street.

"It's just Alice," I assured her, taking her hand again.

She glanced back, still terrified. "The tracker?"

Not willing to scare her even more but unwilling to keep the truth of the situation from her, I admitted,

"He heard the end of your performance."

"Charlie?" she practically yelled. But it wasn't Charlie that the tracker was interested in. He would only go near her father if it meant getting closer to her.

"The tracker followed us," I spoke grimly. I could hear the gush of wind that accompanied a running vampire and could smell his woodsy scent.

"He's running behind us now." I sped up as Bella stared at Alice's headlights.

"Can we outrun him?"

"No."

Suddenly, and ill timed, Emmett sprang from the woods and was right at Bella's window. She let out a blood curling shriek as he climbed into the bed of the truck. I clamped my hand over her mouth, silencing her terror.

"It's Emmett!"

She shuddered a little and stared back out the window. Highlighted by the headlights of his Jeep and flushed with fight anticipation, Emmett looked much more intimidating than Bella had ever seen him.

_He ran the other way,_ Emmett told me. _He's a coward and afraid of us._

I looked over Bella, trembling with my arm around her waist. I was afraid she was cold and my cool skin did not help but I was wrong. She was just scared. I had to distract her.

"It's okay, Bella. You're going to be safe."

She relaxed...slightly... and turned her eyes back to the road ahead of us.

"I didn't realize you were still so bored with small-town life," I started conversationally. "It seemed like you were adjusting fairly well – especially recently. Maybe I was just flattering myself that I was making life more interesting for you."

"I wasn't being nice," she answered, looking down at the little hole in her jeans. "That was the same thing my mom said when she left him. You could say I was hitting below the belt."

Now I understood the expression on Charlie's face. It was déjà vu for him.

"Don't worry," I assured her. "He'll forgive you." _What father wouldn't?_

But her eyes weren't convinced as she stared at me...panicked and desperate.

"Bella, it's going to be alright."

"But it won't be alright when I'm not with you," she whispered.

"We'll be together again in a few day. Don't forget that this was your idea," I added. I had a whole other plan that didn't call for us being apart.

"It was the best idea – of course it was mine." Finally a slight smile.

"Why did this happen?" her voice broke on the last word. "Why me?"

I stared straight ahead, knowing that if she could see the anguish I was feeling, it would only complicate matters.

"It's my fault – I was a fool to expose you like that."

"That's not what I meant," she insisted. "I was there, big deal. It didn't bother the other two. Why did this James decide to kill _me_? There are people all over the place, why me?"

The answer to her question was my fault too but I could not say that. Taking blame for being a god-awful creature whose very existence ruined the possibility of her ever having a normal life, seemed to bother Bella.

"I got a good look at his mind tonight," I said, keeping my voice low as I could. I did not want to take a chance that the tracker was close by and could hear me. It would not bode well if he knew that I could hear his every thought.

"I'm not sure if there's anything I could have done to avoid this, once he saw you. It is partially your fault. If you didn't smell so appallingly luscious, he might not have bothered. But when I defended you...well, that made it a lot worse. He's not used to being thwarted, no matter how insignificant the object."

I scowled then. "He thinks of himself as a hunter and nothing else. His existence is consumed with tracking, and a challenge is all he asks of life. Suddenly we've presented him with a beautiful challenge – a large clan of strong fighters all bent on protecting the one vulnerable element. You wouldn't believe how euphoric he is now. It's his favorite game, and we've just made it his most exciting game ever," I told her, disgusted by the thought. "But...if I had stood by, he would have killed you right then."

"I thought...I didn't smell the same to the others...as I do to you," Bella hesitated to ask.

"You don't." Thank God. "But that doesn't mean that you aren't still a temptation to every one of them. If you _had_ appealed to the tracker – or any of them – the same way you appeal to me, it would have meant a fight there in the meadow."

Bella shook slightly in her seat.

"I don't think I have any choice but to kill him now," I guessed. Not that it mattered much to me....but... "Carlisle won't like it."

We crossed over the bridge, getting closer to the house. In the distance I could see the off road.

"How can you kill a vampire?" Bella asked.

All I knew was from Jasper's tales. He was the only one of us with experience in that field.

"The only way to be sure is to tear him to shreds, and then burn the pieces."

"And the other two will fight with him?"

It was the same question that plagued me. I was strong enough...fast enough to take care of James, though I was hesitant about killing the woman. It just didn't seem right. But would I last if there were two others, equally as fast and strong?

"The woman will. I'm not sure about Laurent. They don't have a very strong bond – he's only with them for convenience. He was embarrassed by James in the meadow..."

"But James and the woman – they'll try to kill you?"

_They can try but they won't succeed_, Emmett thought. I hadn't realized that he was listening.

"Bella," I scolded, don't you dare waste time worrying about me. Your only concern is keeping yourself safe – and please, please – _trying_ not to be reckless."

"Is he still following?"

A loud stream of profanity laced thoughts overcame Emmett. The tracker had picked up our trail again.

"Yes, but he won't attack the house, though. Not tonight."

_Not ever! He won't live through the night! _ Emmett's mind was viscious.

Finally the drive came into view. I sped straight up to the house, Alice right behind me. The house was lit up, something that Esme rarely did and I was not comfortable that she had chosen to turn on every light in the house, making our house very easy for James and Victoria to find, as if they needed any additional help.

Before I pulled the truck to a complete stop Emmett had swung Bella's door open and pulled her out of the seat.

"They're out here," he explained as he tucked Bella under his arm, like a football and ran into the house. I was close behind him and Alice was right next to me. We burst into the living room. Jasper, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle were already there, on their feet, waiting for us. Laurent stood in their midst. Low growls rumbled deep in Emmett's throat as he set Bella down next to me. Emmett was prepared for a fight and Laurent was the enemy.

"He's tracking us," I informed my family, while glaring at Laurent, the fury in my eyes matching Emmett's. I'd heard him as we were running. His thoughts were aggressive and calculating.

"I was afraid of that," Laurent said unhappily. I couldn't believe his tone. He was _unhappy_ that his friend now posed the one threat for Bella that I had no control over! Unhappy! I was enraged.

Alice slipped over to Jasper.

"We're going to Phoenix," she whispered quickly. "Let's go pack."

Together, without any questions on Jasper's part, they flew up the steps. Rosalie watched them and then moved quickly to Emmett's side. He put his arm protectively around her but no one could mistake the fury in her eyes.

"What will he do?" Carlisle spoke to Laurent in the most chilling tone I'd ever heard him use.

"I'm sorry," he answered. "I was afraid, when your boy there, defended her, that it would set him off."

"Can you stop him?"

Laurent shook his head. "Nothing stops James when he gets started."

"We'll stop him," Emmett promised. Rosalie nodded.

But Laurent stared at them, unconvinced. "You can't bring him down. I've never seen anything like him in my three hundred years. He's absolutely lethal. That's why I joined his coven."

"His coven?" Rosalie snarled. "So what was that in the meadow? Why pretend that you're in charge?"

She looked like she was ready to rip him to pieces if Emmett hadn't tightened his grip on her.

Laurent was shaking his head. He actually looked scared, as he should. He was just as responsible for this mess as the tracker. He glanced at Bella, perplexed, and back to Carlisle.

"Are you sure it's worth it?"

My enraged roar filled the room. At the same time Emmett dropped his arm from Rosalie's shoulders and was ready to pounce. I had done the same. Carlisle stepped in front of us, blocking any attempt to shed any blood in his house.

"I'm afraid," he said to Laurent, "you're going to have to make a choice."

_I can't hold them back forever,_ he silently added.

Laurent understood that his life was in danger. He was alone in a house with seven vampires that had no qualms about taking his life. It only took a moment for him to make a decision.

"I'm intrigued by the life you've created here. But I won't get in the middle of this. I bear none of you any enmity, but I won't go up against James. I think I will head north – to that clan in Denali."

He looked at me, his blood red eyes showing all the fear that no three hundred year old vampire should possess. It disgusted me, his weakness. I was much younger than him, with the exception of Carlisle, we all were, yet we did not exhibit such spinelessness.

"Don't underestimate James. He's got a brilliant mind and unparalleled senses. He's every bit as comfortable in the human world as you seem to be, and he won't come at you head on...I'm sorry for what's been unleashed here. Truly sorry."

"Get out!" Rosalie snarled through clenched teeth. "Get out of our home, out of our town!"

"Go in peace," was Carlisle's more formal, less threatening goodbye.

Laurent took another long look around the room. Three sets –and mine – of gleaming, venomous teeth were bared in his direction and he hurried out the door.

"How close?" Carlisle asked me.

Esme was already on the move. She touched an inconspicuous keypad on the wall, and the metal shutters began sealing the windows.

"About three miles out past the river," I answered Carlisle. "He's circling around to meet up with the female."

"What's the plan?"

"We'll lead him off, and then Jasper and Alice will run her south."

"And then."

I could feel the ice coldness of my blood as I looked into my father's eyes.

"As soon as Bella is clear, we hunt him."

"I guess there's no other choice," Carlisle agreed.

As it should be, I was given the task of leading the family in this fight. I turned towards Rosalie.

"Get her upstairs and trade clothes. We need to confuse her scent, temporarily." She stared back at me, livid, like I just told her that I'd trashed all her make-up.

"Why should I?" she hissed. "What is she to me?" Except a menace – a danger that you've chosen to inflict on all of us."

Bella flinched at Rosalie's words. There was no time for this!

"Rose," Emmett warned, he saw in my eyes that I could have ripped her to shreds. But Rosalie didn't care.

"Let me go. I'm here, for this family, about to be involved in a fight that doesn't concern me and now he wants me to do more? Jesus!"

Rather than expending any amount of energy arguing with her, I turned my back to my sister, as if she hadn't uttered a word, or better, _like she wasn't even there_.

"Esme?"

"Of course," she murmured and swung Bella into her arms. She dashed up the stairs.

With Bella out of earshot, I took the opportunity to speak to my sister.

"This isn't about you," I said through clenched teeth. "But if you were in trouble, there's no way I would not help you without complaint. Is it so hard for you, my sister who claims to love me, to do this without griping? If so, stay here! But know I'll never forgive your betrayal."

"Edward," Carlisle interjected. "She's just upset."

"That's no excuse," I grumbled. "I'd do anything for her. She knows that."

"If that was the case," Rosalie sneered, "we wouldn't be in this situation now. I asked you to handle this problem months ago."

"Rose, Edward..." Carlisle forced himself between us. "If you're going to fight, do it after this is all over. Until then, know this, Rosalie. Bella is with Edward. She is part of this family and we protect our family. End of story."

"Fine, but this isn't over, Edward," she promised.

_Oh boy, now that's a fight I can't wait to see. If you mess up her hair, you're a dead man,_ Emmett didn't dare say out loud.

Emmett went to the closet and began stuffing a large backpack with hunting clothes and matches for the fire we'd have to start. Esme and Alice came down the stairs, each holding onto Bella's elbows and half carrying her down the stairs. Esme and Bella had switched clothes. At the bottom of the stairs Carlisle handed them each small silver cell phones so that we could remain in constant contact. We would not use anything that we already used. We too, were very adaptable in the human world. Aliases and untraceable phones were a must.

The entire family was gathered in the living room. It was time to go.

"Esme and Rosalie will be taking your truck, Bella," Carlisle said as he passed Bella.

"Alice, Jasper," Carlisle said, taking over the role of leader because it was clear that I could not, "take the Mercedes. You'll need the dark tint in the south."

They nodded and Jasper caught the keys in the air that Carlisle tossed to him.

"We're taking the Jeep," Carlisle stated, meaning me, Emmett, and himself...the hunting party.

"Alice," Carlisle asked, "will they take the bait?"

Everyone watched Alice as she closed her eyes and became incredibly still.

"He'll track you," she finally answered when she opened her eyes. "The woman will follow the truck. We should be able to leave after that."

"Let's go."

I was at Bella's side at once. I knew that this would not be the last time I would see her but still, I did not want this to happen, to be away from her for an undetermined amount of time.

I didn't care that my family was watching as I pulled her face to mine and pressed my lips against hers. I could not make my lips form words as I had to turn and walk away. I would not say goodbye.

I met Carlisle and Emmett at the Jeep and climbed in. Emmett was behind the wheel, struggling to keep his excitement to a minimum.

"We'll take the Jeep deep into the woods," he said out loud. "Stupid tracker probably will think it's only you and Bella,. Then we ambush him."

Emmett was right. I could hear the tracker, faintly from a distance. He was running behind us, following the truck.

_Ha! He thinks he's clever, sending the girl with the weakest of the bunch. He'll never find me and meet up with Victoria. She'll have the girl and it will be too late. This is going to be fun._

"Not exactly," I told Emmett. "Keep driving. He's following us but he has Victoria following Bella's truck. He thinks that Rosalie is with Bella. He confused the scents."

I picked up my phone and dialed the number for Alice. She answered right away.

"The woman is on Esme and Rosalie's trail. It won't last long. Leave now," I ordered. And the line went dead.

I trusted Alice. She would keep Bella safe. I had to believe that in order to focus on the job at hand.


	9. Chapter 9 Impatience

21. Impatience

Emmett was driving. Carlisle sat in the front passenger seat, anxiously calm. I, however, was not calm. Hours had gone by and I had not heard a sound from the tracker, not a single thought. He was still running behind us but something was off. I should have been able to hear something.

Our plan was to lead him as far north as possible since Bella, Alice, and Jasper were heading south. So far, it was working. He was following the Jeep. But that's all. I couldn't believe that he wasn't thinking about anything.

Staring out the window, the dark trees flashing past as Emmett sped through the forest. I gripped the door handle tightly, eager for the exact moment the tracker had caught up to us. I was ready to spring out of the car.

"Edward," Emmett said. "Loosen your grip on the door please. I can't have you wrecking my car."

Carlisle looked back at me. I took my hand off the handle.

"How far do you think they've gone?" I asked Carlisle.

"The way Jasper drives, they're probably halfway there."

"Do you think this will work? Do you think Bella will be alright? I cannot lose her, Carlisle, I cannot..."

"OH GOD EDWARD!" Emmett bellowed. "You're worse than Bella! You, of all people, know that this is going to work. Bella's fine. She's with Jazz and Alice."

"He's right, Edward," Carlisle agreed. "You have to calm down and be rational. We understand that you're upset but everything's going to be fine."

"What if everything isn't fine, Carlisle?" I asked.

"It will be, son."

Emmett glared at me in the rearview mirror.

"Man, we really need Jazz right now. To calm you down. Maybe we should have sent Edward with Bella and kept Jasper here."

I was slightly offended by Emmett's comment. This was my problem and I'd fight the battle, alone if I had too.

"I'm fine," I said, just to quiet him.

We all were quiet then. No words were actually spoken. We drove for hours. Emmett was thinking about what he would do when he got a chance to corner the tracker. He was hoping that the tracker was at least a decent fighter, especially since Carlisle and I were there.

Carlisle was thinking about Bella. I listened carefully, as if he had said her name out loud. He was thinking how nice it would to have another daughter, a human daughter that could enjoy a life that we couldn't. He wondered if Esme would be willing to learn how to cook and shop for groceries since Bella would probably be spending a lot of time with us.

I leaned forward with interest. Carlisle caught my movement from the corner of his eye and smiled.

"You heard that?"

"Of course," I answered. "I'm shocked that you feel that way."

"Heard what?" Emmett asked, easily frustrated by not being in the loop. "Feel what way?"

"I was thinking that Bella makes a rather nice addition to our family. Wouldn't it be nice to have another sister?"

Emmett laughed. "Human Bella or vampire Bella?"

My hand shot out before I knew it and hit Emmett in the back of the head. He lurched sideways; his head hitting the driver's door window, a small crack appeared in the glass at the impact but chuckled anyway.

"You will pay for that," he said. "And yes, it would be nice having Bella as a sister, human or otherwise."

"I'm wondering..." Carlisle started.

"How I can be so close to her?" I finished. "Is that strange for you? You do it all time," I reminded him.

"Yes, but that's different. I've had over two centuries to perfect my skill. You, my son, have not."

"I've been wondering the same thing. Bella does smell...good...," Emmett stated cautiously. "When I was carrying her –," he looked at me "– don't worry, I wasn't thinking about doing_ that_. I would never hurt Bella. I just noticed, that's all."

"Well, we both know what happened the last time you just noticed something like _that_," I replied grimly.

"That's low, Edward. I'm strong enough _not to kill_ your girlfriend."

"Boys," Carlisle interrupted. "Let's not go there."

My behavior was uncalled for. I knew that Emmett wouldn't dare hurt Bella. It would kill him just as much as it would kill me. I wasn't thinking clearly, my emotions were taking over. I was being irrational. I forced myself to calm down.

"What is that you really wanted to know, Carlisle?" I asked, returning to the previous subject.

"How difficult is it to be that close to her?" he asked. "Esme and I have noticed that it seems so easy for you to touch her, then tonight, in the house, when you..."

"Kissed her," Emmett finished with a chuckle. "How'd you do that?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's not easy...well, let me rephrase. Kissing her and not hurting her is the easy part. It's everything else that is the problem."

"How so?" Carlisle was intrigued, and though I didn't want to have this conversation with him right now, with Emmett around, I knew it would provide the best distraction for me.

"When I'm close to her or when I'm touching her, I don't feel that need to...feed. It's something totally different. It's more like..."

"Lust?" Emmett guessed. "Like your body is on fire and the only thing that will get rid of it is being as close to her as possible?"

I stared awkwardly at him. How could he know?

"I guess so," I answered slowly and he burst out laughing. Carlisle snickered too.

"What? What is it?"

"It is lust, Edward," Carlisle answered. "Typical male lust."

I groaned. I was afraid of that.

"Well, what do I do about it?" I couldn't very well act on it. In all of my existence, I've never acted on that.

"There's nothing you can do about it," Carlisle answered. "It will get easier to deal with time. You just have to focus and try to limit the amount of...touching...that goes on between the two of you."

"Or...you could just change her and do whatever you want," Emmett joked. "That way I can have a sister that my wife can't kill."

"Speaking of Rosalie," Carlisle stated, his voice full of concern now. "What is going on with you and her?"

I cringed. I had a feeling that eventually I would have to betray her and tell Carlisle the reason for her animosity.

"Rosalie is a pain," I said instead. "She's selfish and very insecure."

"Rosalie? Insecure?" Emmett questioned. "No, that's not it. She just hates you, man.

"That's not it," Carlisle insisted. "She's only been like this for the past few months. It has everything to do with Bella, doesn't it?"

I nodded slowly. Might as well get it over with.

"Rosalie's jealous, not just because Bella's human, but because Bella is more appealing to me than she ever was."

The news shocked Emmett, to the point where he actually slowed the car down.

"What? She's mad because you chose Bella over her? Are you serious?"

Carlisle placed his hand on Emmett's shoulder. "Emmett, calm down. It's not like that. Let me explain."

Emmett glared at me, then Carlisle.

_What is that you can say? That the woman I live for, wants to be with Edward?_

"Explain."

"You know Rosalie's story. But I never told you why I chose Rose," Carlisle said to Emmett. "At the time, I had Esme and finally felt complete. I was so thrilled to know that our kind can find complete happiness that I wanted Edward to experience the same joy. I had no idea that it wasn't just a matter of creating another female."

"And?"

"Well, it didn't work out as I had planned. From the moment Rosalie awoke in her new state she and Edward have been at odds. I never understood why, all I know is that my plan backfired. They are much better as brother and sister than they'd ever be as a couple."

"But then Rose found you," I added. "And it really didn't matter that I was even around. That's when we realized that it's a matter of choice. You choose who you want to be with. No one can choose that person for you."

"That doesn't explain her being jealous of Bella."

I looked at Carlisle, pleading for him to let me explain.

"In a way it does," I said. "You know Rose better than anyone. Think about this, she's the vainest creature on the planet and I didn't want her. Instead I chose a human who, in her eyes, pales in comparison. What do you think goes on in Rose's mind when she thinks about that?"

"I see," Emmett answered thoughtfully. "So, it's not like she wants you. She's happy with me. It's just that she can't understand why you picked Bella when you could have had her, _if she wanted you_."

"Basically," I nodded.

"Well, that's an easy fix. Rose won't stay mad at that idea very long. She has me after all, and we both know I'm better than you." The teasing rolled off his tongue easily. Emmett hardly ever stayed angry for long.

We drove on; the sun was starting to rise. I looked at my watch. They should be in Phoenix by now. We were easing out of the forest now, onto the main roads. It was the easiest way to get the tracker to continue to follow us.

I thought about Bella and how sad and frightened she'd been when we parted. I hoped that Alice was taking care of her. I had reminded her that Bella had to eat at regular intervals. I hoped that Alice and Jasper could find a way to feed and still keep Bella safe. I'd notice that both of their eyes were getting darker.

"Edward?" Carlisle interrupted my thoughts. "You should check on Bella."

Before I could take out my own, indiscrete silver phone, Carlisle's rang. It was Esme and Rosalie.

Carlisle put the phone on speaker.

"What happened? Where is the woman?"

"She left town," Esme answered. "She picked up on the ruse early and stopped following us. But we knew it wouldn't last long."

"She's been everywhere, all over town," Rosalie added. "That woman...she's wild, almost crazed. She has an uncanny ability to avoid me, like she knew I was there but I was careful to stay out of sight."

"Where, specifically, did she go?" I asked.

"When she left us, I followed her. She went to Charlie's but he wasn't there then she went to the high school. She ran through most of the town, Edward, but it was sporadic. There was no method to her madness."

This news was disturbing. First the tracker and now the woman was digging around town. There was only one reason why. Information.

"So," Rosalie finished, "I finally traced her through the airport. But she didn't get on a plane. I'm sorry, but I lost her."

"It's okay, babe," Emmett assured her. "We know how good you are."

Everyone, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, was talking at the same time. Other than their voices I was hearing out loud I also heard something else, the mental voice I'd been waiting for.

"Be quiet! I hear him."

_There's too many of them to be with the girl. This is a set-up. DAMN IT! _

_ Gotta give him credit. He's slick but not better than me. Game on Cullen. _

_ Airport...good idea... I'll take a plane. It'll get me there quicker._

My blood boiled. The tracker turned around – he was already miles away from us – and ran towards Forks.

"He knows," I said sullenly. "He's turned around. He's thinking something about a plane. He didn't say where he's going. I think he's going back to Forks."

"Then so are we," Emmett said calmly. He swung the big Jeep across the median and sped in the opposite direction.

"I'll call Alice and see if she saw anything," Carlisle volunteered.

Carlisle disconnected from Esme and Rose and dialed Alice's number.

"Carlisle," Alice breathed into the phone.

"Alice, we lost the tracker. Did you see anything?"

"Yes," she answered. "I just saw him. He was in a room, a long room with mirrors everywhere. It's strange because he was in two different places, the mirror room, and a very dark room. The dark room is where he waits. I can't see what he's waiting for."

"Anything else?" I asked.

"Yes. He got on a plane. Whatever made him get on that plane...it was leading him to those rooms."

"I need to speak with Bella."

Carlisle handed me the phone and I took it off the speaker, holding it close to my ear.

"Hello." The word was like music.

"Bella."

"Oh, Edward," she gushed. "I was so worried."

"Bella," I sighed in frustration. "I told you not worry about anything but yourself." It was so unbelievably good to hear her voice, though it was filled with worry.

"Where are you?"

"We're outside of Vancouver. Bella, I'm sorry – we lost him. He seems suspicious of us – he's careful to stay just far enough away that I can't hear what he's thinking. But he's gone now – it looks like he got on a place. We think he's heading back to Forks to start over."

"I know," she said. "Alice saw that he got away."

"You don't have to worry though. He won't find anything to lead him to you. You just have to stay there and wait till we find him again."

"I'll be fine. Is Esme with Charlie?" she asked, ever concerned about the wrong things.

"Yes – the female has been in town. She went to the house, but while Charlie was at work. She hasn't gone near him, so don't be afraid. He's safe with Esme and Rosalie watching."

"What is she doing?" Bella wondered.

"Probably trying to pick up the trail. She's been all through eh town during the night. Rosalie traced her through the airport, all the roads around town, the school...she's digging, Bella, but there's nothing to find."

"And you're sure Charlie's safe."

"Yes," I assured her. "Esme won't let him out of her sight. And we'll be there soon. If the tracker gets anywhere near Forks, we'll have him."

"I miss you," she whispered.

I groaned. "I know, Bella. Believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self away with you."

"Come and get it, then," she challenged. I wanted to but it wasn't possible...not yet.

"Soon, as soon as I possibly can. I will make you safe first."

"I love you," she spoke quietly.

"Could you believe," I said smiling for the first time in a day and a half, "that despite everything I've put you through, I love you, too?"

"Yes, I can, actually."

"I'll come for you soon," I promised.

"I'll be waiting."

As soon as the phone went dead, the cloud of doom and dread began to creep over me again. I had known that this wouldn't be easy. It wasn't right, to do this to her, to put her in this type of danger. But with me, with what I am, this would always be her life. I would do everything to avoid it and if it ever got too dangerous, no matter how much it hurt either of us, I'd leave. I'd destroy myself to make sure she wasn't hurt, that she was safe.


	10. Chapter 10 Phone Call

22. Phone Call

_Two days._

That's how long I'd been agonizing, drowning in my own despair. That's how long I've felt like dying every sing e time I took a breath.

_Forty-eight long still hours._

Not every long in most people's eyes. It felt like a lifetime. Still, it was not long enough to decide what I would do if I never saw Bella again. There was a chance that I really would have to destroy myself and I didn't know how to do it.

The tracker had eluded us, far better at hunting than we'd ever be. And the woman, the fiery red-headed woman with the uneven temperament, was able to maneuver her way past Rosalie and Esme

_Where were they? What were they planning?_

Questions I did not have answers to swam in my head.

I did not fear that Bella wasn't safe. She was with Jasper and Alice. One phone with Jasper had cleared up any inhibitions I had about Bella's safety.

Jasper, my brother who spent most of his life – before and after – living a life riddled with war; my brother who so rarely showed any emotion, had been the one to calm Bella's irrational fears. And he did it with his loving words.

So, as I sat in my room, there was nothing else to ponder except the whereabouts of James and Victoria. I was alone. The others had gone hunting. I could not eat. I was not even thirsty. There was only one thing on my mind.

I heard the others before I saw them. They came through the forest, all four running at full speed.

Something was wrong!

I raced down the stairs and out of the door, meeting them at the river. Their golden eyes sparkled, but not with excitement. With something else, an emotion I didn't immediately recognize.

Anticipation? Maybe.

Carlisle had his phone in his hand.

"What's wrong? What happened?" I asked with a deep sense of gloom. "Is she alright?"

"Alice called," Carlisle stated grimly. "She had another vision."

"What?" I asked cautiously. "What did she see?"

"He's been to her house, Edward," Rose answered.

"We know that!" I nearly shouted.

"I meant her house in Phoenix."

"What?" I exploded. "When? Why?"

"He hasn't been there yet," Carlisle corrected. "That's where he's headed."

My eyes tightened, my hands balled into fists on their own accord.

"How long?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Alice couldn't tell for sure. Today or tomorrow."

"Carlisle, what is the plan?"

"You, me, and Emmett are going to catch the next flight out to Phoenix. Esme and Rose will stay here and continue to watch over Charlie."

"When do we leave?"

Carlisle looked at his watch. "Now. We'll take your car. Esme, Rosalie, check on Charlie at the station, then run a route from the treaty line to Seattle, see if you can pick up any sign of the woman. Alice says that she isn't with the tracker in her vision. Let's go."

I started running, like a sprinter at the blast from the starter gun. I'd started my car and pulled out of the garage before my family had reached the house.

Esme and Rosalie gave their companions long lingering kisses. I turned away.

"Be safe," Esme said to Carlisle. "Give Alice and Jasper my love."

She walked around to the driver's side window and leaned in.

"You too, Edward. Stay in control," she advised. "Everything's going to be alright."

I looked at my mother with love. This was extremely hard for her. Her entire family was leaving her, off to fight an unknown force. She had to trust in Alice's confidence, in my ability, in Emmett's strength. It would be difficult for her to be in Forks and if there was any way to avoid this, I would have done it days ago.

_I'm hurting so many people_, I thought as I stared at Rose and Emmett saying goodbye. The look in my sister's eyes was unmistakably pain.

"You take care of yourself," Emmett said softly, brushing her hair away from her eyes. "If you run into that woman, don't try and fight her unless Esme is with you."

Rosalie clung to him and pouted. "I can fight. I'm tough."

"Yeah, you're tough, alright." And kissed her forehead affectionately. "I love you babe. See you in a couple of days."

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," he said. "And when I get back, we'll go away for a few days, okay?"

Rose's eyes lit up. "Great. Now go so you can hurry up and get back home to me!"

They kissed again. I averted my eyes. Still, I couldn't help to feel a bit jealous of Emmett. I've never felt that way before. After all, he was stuck with Rosalie for all of eternity. Not that he minded.

The jealousy stemmed from the fact that Rose wasn't in any danger. She was not worried that he might get hurt either. He was not worried that she could die. Every fear and worry that Bella and I shared was lost on them. They only thing about this trip that upset either of them was not being together. I wished I could say the same.

We boarded the plain at Sea-Tac amidst a throng of weary eyed strangers, too tired to take notice of a father traveling with his two teen sons. The flight attendants did notice.

_Wow, they are gorgeous. What I wouldn't give to be a part of that family._

We made our way to our first class seats. To most, traveling first class was a luxury. To three vampires, it was a necessity. It provided seclusion and lessened the opportunity to happen across an unsuspecting human that was equally appealing as my Bella.

"Can I get you anything?" the head attendant asked Carlisle. "For you or your sons?"

"No, we're fine. Thank you. I think we'll probably nap the entire way."

Emmett made a big show of yawning and stretching, even took the liberty of requesting a pillow. He was a far worse actor than Bella.

_He's a big guy. I wonder if he's in college,_ a younger attendant who eerily resembled Rosalie, wondered as she handed him his pillow.

"Thanks hon," Emmett said, flashing a bright smile.

_What a beautiful smile! Such gorgeous teeth!_

I elbowed Emmett in the ribs.

"Make her go away," I ordered, my lips barely moved. "She's getting on my nerves."

"Can I get you anything else? A blanket, a soft drink, perhaps?"

"No thank you." Emmett propped the pillow against the window.

"Okay," she smiled flirtatiously. "Enjoy your flight."

Then she walked away.

"Thank you."

"You're just jealous she wasn't checking you out. Can I at least get some of the attention for once?"

"Ugh! I can't believe we're having this conversation," I mumbled while Carlisle and Emmett chuckled.

"Get some rest boys," Carlisle advised, mainly for the other passengers to hear. We would pretend to sleep, of course, to avoid any disturbances.

The flight to Phoenix was long, tedious, and boring.

I was concentrating on blocking out the other passengers on the plane. Only Emmett thoughts were of any amusement. For the most part, he was thinking of where he and Rose would go when we got back to Forks. He thought about capturing and killing James and Victoria too. But occasionally, he would think of something really silly or rather ironic and I had to force myself to keep from laughing out loud. I was supposed to be sleeping.

For instance, when the flight attendants were going over the safety procedures and what to do in case of a crash, a rather comical, image played in his mind as he imagined jumping out of the exit doors and reaching the ground before the plane hit it. With a Superman-esque power he'd stop the plane, saving the hundred or so humans on board.

_If Edward can stop a van, I could probably stop a plane. I _am_ stronger than him. Too bad I wouldn't be able to take any credit for it. Damn Volturi._

After this ordeal was over and things were normal again, I would definitely tell the others about Emmett's Superman fantasy. He deserved it after the weeks of ribbing he and Jasper did to me.

I felt the plane beginning to descent. Just a few more minutes and we'd be in Phoenix. I would take Bella in my arms and hold her tightly. I'd feel calmer and once I had her to myself again, when I knew that she wasn't in danger….when I was there to protect her.


	11. Chapter 11 The Fight

23. The Fight

We stepped through the gate into the largest, most confusing terminal I've ever seen. Throngs of passengers waiting for departing flights. Happy families, smiling boyfriends, girlfriends, waiting eagerly for their arriving loved ones.

I quickly scanned the unfamiliar terminal for two dark haired girls but did not see Bella or Alice anywhere.

"We have to meet them on the third-level garage," Carlisle spoke from behind me.

Our pace was quicker than normal human pace but it went unnoticed. After all, we were in an airport. We probably had a connecting flight to catch.

There were people everywhere, slowing up the way. I was getting impatient as their loud thoughts flooded my head. I didn't care if they would make their flight or how expensive the food was. And I couldn't ignore them. It was one of the main reason I hated airports. I wondered if I could convince Carlisle that we needed a private plane.

We finally reached the parking garage. Jasper and Alice stood, miserably, by Carlisle's Mercedes.

_Uh-oh_, Alice thought and then I saw on that Bella was not with them.

"Where is she?" I demanded.

"She's gone, Edward," Alice answered. A low growl escaped my lips. Jasper stepped protectively in front of her.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't know," Alice wailed. "In the hotel I saw her with the tracker. It scared me. We tried to keep our eyes on her…"

"What is she doing with him? How does she get with him?"

"She meets him, at the ballet studio," Jasper answered.

"There's a ballet studio? I thought we were going to her house," Emmett inquired.

"The room with the mirrors," Alice spoke. "Bella recognized it as her old ballet studio…though I can't imagine Bella taking ballet. She's so…"

"Alice, focus!" I yelled. "How did she get past you and where is this ballet studio?"

"I don't know how she did it. I see the future, not the past," she yelled back.

I slumped against the sleek car, my entire world crashing down around me. I put my hands to my head and groaned.

"Why? Why would she go _to_ him?"

Alice reached her hand out to me. In it was an envelope.

"This might explain it. She told me it was for her mother but now, I don't think it is."

I ripped the envelope open. Alice was right. It was a letter to me. The handwriting was hardly legible. Bella's hand had been shaking as she wrote.

"No!" I yelled. "I won't let her do this!" I threw the letter to the ground. I would not honor such a ridiculous request. It was suicide. I would not let Bella die because of me.

Alice caught the letter before it hit the ground. She quickly stuffed in back in the envelope.

"Where is the ballet studio?"

"58th and Cactus," Alice answered. "It's near her house."

I spotted a nondescript grey corvette parked two cars down. I ran towards it. The door was unlocked. I removed the wiring cover, touched two wires together and it started right away. I peeled out of the spot and stopped at the Mercedes.

"Go to her house. See if her mother is okay. I'm going to the ballet studio."

"Edward, wait!" I heard Emmett yell but I did not stop. I sped out of the parking deck and on to the highway. Luckily the car had a GPS system. I plugged the address into the system and it spat out the directions.

The sun shone brightly, reflecting off of the tiled rooftops in the Valley of the Sun, only slightly subdued by a thin layer of smog. This was dangerous. The windows of the Corvette were tinted but nowhere as dark as I needed them to be. I looked at my arms. Not sparkling yet but I knew I would be as soon as I stepped out of the car. I could not wait until dusk. Bella would be dead by then.

The road flew by. How I wished I could take the time to enjoy the passing palm trees, the scrubby creosote, the green swaths of the golf courses…all the things that Bella had once told me she loved.

_Finally! My exit!_

I swerved the car expertly off the freeway. A few miles later I was in a small residential neighborhood. This was the place! I rolled down the windows, trying to catch Bella's scent. Was it possible? Could I have made it before her?

I pulled the car to a four way stop at 58th and Cactus, waiting impatiently for the other two drivers ahead of me to go. Then I heard it, the mental voice I'd been searching for!

_That's a very nice effect. I thought this room would be visually dramatic for my little film._

A woman pushing a baby carriage was crossing the street, holding up the progress at the stop sign. Swearing, I maneuvered the car up the sidewalk and cut through somebody's lawn, frightening the little old lady who was pruning her bushes. I pulled onto Cactus at full speed.

The noises were getting closer as I searched for any building that could have been a ballet studio.

_Poor little girl. I bet that hurts._

I heard a piercing scream. I realized it belonged to Bella and came from the building I was right in front of. I put the car in park and jumped out.

I heard glass break and another bloodcurdling scream. I ran faster.

Bella was in pain.

I threw my body against the locked studio door and crashed through it. The smell of blood – Bella's blood – jolted me like a wave of fire.

I ran down the hallway and crashed through another door. The mirror room!

The tracker was crouched over Bella, her hand dangerously close to his face. Outrage coursed through me as I slammed into him, knocking him about thirty feet away from her.

I knelt down beside her. There was blood in her hair from a deep gash. Her leg was twisted underneath her.

A wave of shock…then relief washed over Bella's face.

"Edward," she whispered.

"I'm sorry." Anguish filled my voice.

I reached for her but I was pushed from behind with such force that I flew into a wall of mirrors. The glass scraped across my skin, ripping my shirt.

James held me against the mirror, snarling.

"You're alone…because you're faster than the others."

His red eyes shown with pure evil as he bashed my head into the mirrors. That was painful.

"But not stronger," he added.

"I'm strong enough to kill you," I growled as I stretched my leg out and kicked him. Glass shattered as he flew into a freestanding mirror. For a second he was immobilized. I tried to run to back to Bella, to move her to a safer location until I finished off the tracker.

I didn't make it.

James ran over to me and grabbed the back of my shirt. It ripped when he flung me in the air, away from Bella. I crashed through a second story window. I reached for the window pane and held on tightly to keep from crashing to the sidewalk below. The glass screeched across the palms of my hands as I swung myself back through the now glassless window.

An animalistic roar left my throat as I leapt from the window sill. I was no longer Edward. I was a predator attacking his prey. A painful yell came from James when I slammed into him, hurtling us both across the wooden floor, ripping up floorboards that would make great kindling for the fire I would have to start.

The tracker was not a good fighter. He relied mainly on his strength. I wondered how old he was. It didn't matter though because his life was going to end.

With another growl I hurled him into a wooden column. It cracked upon impact and the building seemed to rumble. I lunged for his neck. He shrieked in pain as I bit down. My sharp teeth sliced through this granite skin and I spat a piece of him on the floor.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, restraining me.

_Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, and Alice had arrived._

"Son, enough," Carlisle ordered. When I turned to look at him, a wild, crazed animal reflected in his eyes.

"Remember who you are."

I looked around. The tracker was panting in pain. The only thing that can really hurt a vampire is another vampire.

Carlisle was staring at me, urging me to release my grip on the monster. Emmett and Jasper were in control, each had a hand on the tracker's arms.

"Your brothers will take care of him," Carlisle said to me and looked towards Bella.

Alice was kneeling over her, holding her head in her arms. I could see that Bella was losing consciousness.

I forgot about James.

I ran to Bella's side. Carlisle was right beside me. She was bleeding profusely.

"Bella, please!" I yelled. "Bella, listen to me, please, please, Bella, please."

I pleaded with her to keep her eyes open. It was too hard for her. Her eyelids kept fluttering closed.

"Carlisle!" I needed him. I couldn't fix her, not by myself. In a second Carlisle was lifting Bella's head as I sobbed tearless sobs. She was dying…and so was I.

"Bella, Bella, no, oh please, no, no!" I wept as she slowly drifted away.

Carlisle touched the tender area around the gash in her head. Bella screamed in pain.

_She wasn't dead!_

"Bella!"

"She's lost some blood but the head wound isn't deep," Carlisle said with the calm and ease of a seasoned professional.

"Watch out for her leg, it's broken."

A howl of rage strangled me as I angled myself away from her twisted leg.

Carlisle moved his hand along Bella's side, concerned about her raspy breathing.

"Some ribs, too, I think," he informed me.

"Edward," Bella moaned. I leaned down towards her face.

"Bella, you're going to be fine. Can you hear me, Bella?" I asked. "I love you."

"Edward," she moaned again. A little ray of hope began to shine dimly in my soul.

"Yes, I'm here."

"It hurts," she whispered.

"I know, Bella, I know." I turned to Carlisle. "Can't you do anything?"

"My bag, please…" I slid him medical bag across the floor.

"Hold your breath, Alice, it will help."

I had completely forgotten Alice was there. I glanced around. Jasper and Emmett had started a small bonfire. I heard the cackling of rocks and fire. They were destroying a vampire.

I saw Alice close her eyes. The smell of Bella's blood had to have been driving her crazy. I could tell she was holding her breath.

"Alice?" Bella groaned.

I turned my attention back to her.

"She's here. She knew where to find you."

"My hand hurts."

I knew it did. Everything was probably hurting her.

"I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something…it will stop."

"My…hand…is…burning!" she screamed so loud that everyone stopped for a second. Her eyes fluttered open. She looked around, panicked.

"Bella?" What was she talking about? Was she delirious? She was nowhere near any fire?

"The fire!" she continued to scream. "Someone stop the fire!"

"Carlisle!" Alice yelled. "Her hand!"

We both looked down at the same time. Teeth marks, bloody, venomous teeth marks, were on the space between her thumb and forefinger.

I gasped in horror! I now knew why she screamed. The venom was spreading through her hand, burning…killing…everything it touched.

"He bit her," Carlisle stated, appalled.

"Edward," Alice leaned close to me, "you have to do it."

Her vision was coming true. I couldn't do it. I couldn't bite her again. I could not turn Bella into one of us.

"No!" I bellowed in anguish.

"There may be a chance," Carlisle said.

I looked at him with pleading eyes.

"See if you can suck the venom back out. The wound is fairly clean."

"Will that work?" Alice's voice was strained.

"I don't know but we have to hurry," Carlisle answered.

I looked down at my beautiful Bella, writhing on the floor. I'd sworn I'd do anything to save her. But this? I was almost immune to her smell, even with all the blood surrounding me. And now they were asking me to what I'd vowed I'd never do again, especially to her.

"Carlisle, I…I don't know if I can do that."

"It's your decision, Edward, either way." His voice was hurried. "I can't help you. I have to get this bleeding stopped here if you're going to be taking blood from her hand."

"Edward!" Bella screamed my name again, searching the room blindly. Finally her eyes locked with mine. She was pleading with me to stop the pain…to put out the fire. I had to help her.

"Alice," Carlisle yelled. "Get me something to brace her leg. Edward, you must do it now, or it will be too late."

All doubt in my mind had been replaced by fierce determination. I braced myself, placing her hand tightly in mine and held it securely. I had to do this. I had to focus. If I didn't, Bella would die.

I bent over and pressed my lips against the wound, not needing to bite down, and sucked.

_Her blood was the most heavenly thing I'd ever tasted!_

It was the venom mixed with her blood that made me completely aware of my task. It stung as it flowed down my throat. Still…I didn't want to stop.

I was lost, floating in a world where the warm liquid flowed freely. I was vaguely aware of Carlisle on one side of me, Alice on the other, ready to _try_ to stop me if I couldn't stop myself.

Slowly, Bella's writhing and screaming calmed.

"Edward," she tried to say, snapping me back to reality.

"He's right here," Alice assured her.

There was no more venom, replaced by the medicinal taste of the morphine Carlisle had injected her with. Still, I did not stop.

_Stop, Edward. She's lost too much blood, already._

Carlisle's voice was in my head. But could I?

_Stop, Edward,_ Alice begged. _Please stop._

I opened my eyes. Bella was still, motionless like a corpse. I dropped her hand.

She was still breathing!

"Stay, Edward, stay with me…" her voice was soft, her words slightly slurred.

"I will."

I'd done it! I saved her! I hadn't killed her. I hadn't bitten her. I felt triumphant!

"Is it all out?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded. "Her blood tastes clean," I answered quietly. "I can taste the morphine."

He leaned over her head.

"Bella," he called.

"Mmmm?" was her incoherent response.

"Is the fire gone?"

"Yes," she sighed. "Thank you, Edward."

"I love you."

"I…know."

Alice smiled. My laugh was quiet, weak with relief.

"Bella," Carlisle asked again.

"What?"

"Where is your mother?"

Renée! The reason Bella had fled to the tracker in the first place. My eyes flashed to Alice for an explanation.

_She wasn't at the house. There was no trace that she'd even been there. The only fresh scents were Bella's and his_…her eyes pointed to the bonfire.

"In Florida," Bella answered. Her voice was tried. The morphine was working.

"He tricked me, Edward. He watched our videos."

"Alice!" Bella yelled suddenly, as if she was remembering something. "Alice, the video – he knew you, Alice, he knew where you came from." She was babbling, her slurred words made no sense.

"I smell gasoline."

"It's time to move her," Carlisle said.

_We'll take her to the hospital. The others will take care of this mess._

"No, I want to sleep," Bella complained.

"You can sleep, sweetheart, I'll carry you." I gingerly lifted her into my arms and walked towards the broken door.

"Sleep now, Bella."


	12. Chapter 12 Truth and Lies

24. Truth & Lies

We burst through the Emergency Room doors, Carlisle talking to a nurse on this cell phone, me carrying an unconscious battered and bruised Bella.

The ER was rather empty, it being a Wednesday afternoon and all. The few patients stared at us with curious eyes.

_I wonder what happened to her._

_Wow, they're pale. They can't be from around here. Must be tourists._

Carlisle pointed to set of tan double doors.

_That way. The nurse is coming through those doors in a few seconds._

We turned and waited. A few seconds later two nurses dressed in burgundy scrubs quickly spotted us.

"Dr. Cullen?"

"Yes. This is my son, Edward…and his…err...friend, Bella."

"What happened?" one of the nurses asked. Her name tag read Jackie.

"She tripped and fell down some stairs at our hotel, crashed right through a plate glass window."

I was surprised to hear that Carlisle had conjured up a story so quickly. I hadn't been paying much attention to Carlisle as we drove to the hospital. I was more worried about Bella's ragged breathing and still bleeding head wound.

Not to mention, the sweet taste of her blood that lingered in my throat.

"We'll take good care of her, Doctor," Jackie promised as an orderly showed up with a stretcher. I delicately laid Bella on it.

"I gave her a shot of morphine," Carlisle explained as he followed the nurse through the doors. I was two steps behind him when I felt the other nurse's hand on my shoulder.

"You'll have to wait here, son. Only medical personnel behind those doors. Your Dad will let you know when you can see her."

I nodded slowly as the doors shut. I sat in the farthest corner of the waiting room, grateful that it was windowless. I concentrated on the news program playing on the television. I did not want to hear the people around me.

I was staring mindlessly at the television. The volume was so low, I couldn't understand how any human in the room could hear. I practiced reading the lips of the newscasters, the fight with the tracker replaying itself continuously in my head, when I heard a familiar voice.

"There he is!" Alice shouted and practically danced across the room to me. She threw her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Oh Edward! Are you okay? Where's Bella?"

"She's in the back. Carlisle is with her. We have to wait here." I shrugged. "Hospital policy."

"But she's okay? She's going to be okay, right?" Alice looked at me with pleading eyes. But she could probably see the answer better than me.

"I think so."

She hugged me again. "I'm so glad you got there in time!"

"Me too, Alice…me too."

"Before you guys get all mushy on us, don't forget me and Jazz here. We kinda helped," Emmett teased.

Alice let me go and Emmett gave me a high-five.

"We got him! Man, we got that son of a gun!"

Jasper only smiled smugly and nodded.

We sat down and keeping our voices so low that only the three of us could hear, talked about what happened at the ballet studio.

"Man, Edward, I know you had to see about Bella and all, but you missed all the fun!"

"Hey," I protested. "What about what I did? I'm the one who got to him first. I pretty much handed him to you on a silver platter!"

Emmett laughed, as quietly as possible, which wasn't all_ that_ quiet.

"I guess you did take some of the fight out of him. But man, he was strong."

"Yes, but he wasn't highly skilled," Jasper added. "I've had to fight our kind before. I fought a _newborn_ with better skill."

Alice groaned. "Oh yeah, big tough macho guys, huh? You couldn't even stay in the room afterwards. At least I stayed with Bella. I'm just as strong as Edward," she grinned smugly, "maybe even Carlisle."

Jasper reached over and playfully mussed Alice's spiky hair.

"Strong as Carlisle, you wish!"

"Well, maybe not Carlisle," she amended, ducking away. "But definitely Edward."

I enjoyed their playful banter. For them it was all over. Everything was fine. But I still struggled with immense guilt. We were in a hospital in Phoenix because I'd put Bella in harms way. No matter how I tried to spin it, Bella was not safe with me and sooner, rather than later, I'd have to figure out a way to leave her.

"Edward?" Alice noticed my saddened expression.

_It's going to be okay. She's going to be fine._

I nodded. It would be okay, once I decided what to do.

We heard Carlisle's approach and we all looked expectantly in his direction.

_Those are his kids? Can't be. He doesn't look old enough to have four teenagers._

"Carlisle, how is she?"

Carlisle's expression remained sullen. He hated delivering bad news.

"She's in surgery."

Alice gasped.

"That bad, huh?" was Emmett's comment but he did look saddened by the news.

"Her leg's broken in a couple of places," Carlisle continued. "The X-rays showed she has four broken ribs, multiple skull fractures. Plus she's lost a lot of blood so they may have to give her a transfusion."

Anger mixed with unimaginable despair tore through me. How could I have let this happen?

Carlisle, sensing my devastation, put his arm around my shoulders.

"It's okay son. She's going to be fine. You did a great job in there. I'm proud of you."

Carlisle's words were slightly comforting but even his satisfaction did not completely eliminate the disgust I felt for the situation.

"Yeah," Jasper agreed. "You were great with her. Don't feel so bad."

"We should go get a hotel room," Carlisle suggested. "We'll need to call Bella's parents. The hospital will call when she's out of surgery and awake."

Forty-five minutes later we were checked into the Arizona Biltmore and sitting around the suite, waiting for the call from the hospital and getting our story together before we called Renée and Charlie.

"I like Carlisle's idea," Alice argued with Emmett. "Bella falling down the steps is much more believable than her getting in a car accident. Bella is a fairly good driver."

"Let's just go with that," I said in order to put an end to the ongoing bickering. "But why is Bella even in Phoenix when she knows that her mother is in Florida? And better yet, why are we here? That's what we need to decided."

"Easy," Jasper answered. "She already told Charlie why she was leaving. I'm sure he's already spoken to her mother. Let's just say that you, Carlisle, and Alice came here to convince her to come back to Forks. She comes to the hotel to talk to you, slips, falls, and ends up in the hospital. Doesn't sound that hard to fathom to me."

It was a good story, simple and incredibly believable.

"The ballet studio?" Carlisle inquired.

"Ashes and rubble," Emmett stated proudly.

"I'll be glad to go back to the other hotel and fabricate some evidence, you know…just in case Charlie wants to sue," Alice volunteered.

"So, who wants to be the one to call Chief Swan and tell him that we broke his daughter? Edward?" Emmett asked.

Thought I knew he was only joking, Emmett's words stung a little.

"I will call him," Carlisle answered. "After all, I am the only adult on this trip.

Our inside joke. Emmett was technically the oldest. Only Alice, Rosalie, and I were actually _teenagers._

Carlisle went into the bedroom to call Chief Swan. I understood why he needed privacy. It would not be a pleasant conversation.

"Hey guys," Alice said, her voice was grave now. "I found this" – she reached into her purse and pulled out a digital video camera – "at the ballet studio. I think the tracker recorded everything.

The look on my face must have been horrific as a low hiss slipped from my throat. James was even more evil and sadistic that I'd ever imagined.

"I don't know if we need to watch it," Jasper stated uncomfortably. "We pretty much have an idea of what happened."

"But Jazz," Emmett argued, "what if he said something about that red-head? Like where she's hiding. She's a part of this mess too."

"He's right, Jasper," Alice whispered. "I don't want to see it and I'm sure Edward doesn't either, but…I think we should."

"Let's at least wait for Carlisle."

"Wait for me for what?" Carlisle asked as he returned to the living room.

"What did Charlie say?" I couldn't tell by his expression whether the conversation had gone well.

"He's upset of course. But he's quite grateful that I was here to see over Bella. I called her mother too. Renée said she'd be here first thing tomorrow."

_But he's terribly upset with you, Edward. I tried to explain that it wasn't your fault but he's a father and Bella is his only child, his daughter._

"So, what are you waiting for me to do?"

"Watch the video the tracker made," Emmett told him. "I want to see if he gives any clues that'll lead to the female."

Carlisle nodded and looked at me as he spoke.

"Good idea. Edward, I know this is hard for you. You don't have to watch. We can fill you in on the details."

I shook my head. "Press play." I wanted to know where to find the red-head, just as bad as my brothers.

We all gathered around Alice. She pushed the PLAY button. Bella's terrified face filled the small screen. The tracker's smooth calm voice played in the background.

"_I'm sorry, but I just don't think he'll be able to resist hunting me after he watches this. And I wouldn't want him to miss anything. It was all for him, of course. You're simply a human, who unfortunately was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and indisputably running with the wrong crowd, I might add."_

I felt a curl of nausea in the pit of my stomach as he spoke. I'd been right. It was me he wanted all along.

"_I would just like to rub it in, just a little bit. The answer was there all along, and I was so afraid Edward would see that and ruin my fun. It happened once, oh, ages ago. The one and only time my prey escaped me._

_ "You see, the vampire who was so stupidly fond of this little victim made the choice that your Edward was too weak to make. When the old one knew I was after his little friend, he stole her from the asylum where he worked – I never will understand the obsession some vampires seem to form with you humans – and as soon as he freed her, he made her safe. She didn't even seem to notice the pain, poor little creature. She'd been stuck in that black hole of a cell for so long. A hundred years earlier and she would have been burned at the stake for her visions. In the nineteen-twenties, it was the asylum and the shock treatments. When she opened her eyes, strong with her fresh youth, it was like she'd never seen the sun before. The old vampire made her a strong new vampire, and there was no reason for me to touch her then…"_

He sighed. "_I destroyed the old one in vengeance."_

The look of realization on everyone's face was clear. _Alice._

I turned slowly to my little sister. Her face was paralyzed. I noticed that she was not breathing. Shock and dismay clouded her beautiful face. Jasper put his arm around her but she did not budge.

The tracker continued his narrative.

"_Yes, your little friend. I was surprised to see her in the clearing. So I guess your coven ought to be able to derive some comfort from this experience. I get you, but they get her. The one victim who escaped me, quite an honor, actually._

_ "And she did smell so delicious. I still regret that I never got to taste….she smelled even better than you do. Sorry – I don't mean to be offensive. You have a very nice smell. Floral, somehow…"_

Then the screen went black. Carlisle had slipped the camera out of Alice's tight grip and turned it off.

"We don't need to see this."

We sat in silence. Jasper was gripping the wooden arm of Alice's chair so tightly it was starting to splinter.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie."

Alice blinked rapidly. "I…don't…I …can't…"

"It's okay, honey," Jasper attempted to comfort her. "It's okay."

"No it's not!" Alice screamed. "Can't you see? It's not okay! Shock treatments! Insane asylum! I am not crazy!" She pushed Jasper's hand off her shoulder and ran out of the room. Jasper followed behind her.

It was uncomfortably silent. And I could hear every word. I tried not to listen to the distress that Emmett and Carlisle were feeling and focus more on my concern for Bella. But I, too, was heartbroken inside for Alice. Tossed away, unwanted, into mental hospital for a gift that she was born with. Locked in a dark cell and given shock treatments. She was so young.

Moments later, I stood up and announced that I was going back to the hospital. Carlisle volunteered to go with me. It was much easier to deal with Bella's pain than Alice's anguish.


	13. Chapter 13 Impasse

25. An Impasse

Three days later and I was still sitting next to Bella's hospital bed. I'd memorized every line and crack in the bright white pain, every shadow the sun made as it tried to peep through the long vertical blinds.

Bella was propped up on the bed, covered in bandages, clear tubes across her hands that hooked her to the monitors next to the bed. An oxygen tube was taped under her nose.

The first day, Bella didn't open her eyes once. I'd studied enough medicine to know that the drugs she'd been given were designed to make her sleep. It was a peaceful sleep. No talking.

The next to days were more eventful. Bella floated in and out of consciousness. She received more medication. The second day her mother arrived.

Though Bella had talked to me about her mother, I was not prepared for the frantic whirlwind that was Renée. Like any mother would be, Renée was distraught to see her daughter lying on the hospital bed, bruised and broken. She barely looked at me, Alice, Carlisle, or the ER doctor as he tried to explain Bella's condition. More than once, she cried.

Alice, who'd made a full recovery of her own, took it upon herself to befriend Renée. She had lunch with her in the hospital cafeteria; she helped her get settled at home. She even brought her food and coffee during the long hours that Renée sat bedside, beside me.

Together, they huddled in the corner and giggled like school girls at the tales Renée told of Bella's awkward childhood. Alice also took it upon herself to reveal some of the details of my and Bella's relationship, only because Renée asked.

Now the room was without any visitors, just me and Bella. I watched as she opened her eyes, very disoriented. She gazed around the room trying to figure our where she was and what had happened. I leaned closer, hoping she'd sense my presence and calmed down a bit. Instead she tried to remove her oxygen tube.

I caught her hand gently. "Oh, no you don't."

She turned her head at the sound of my voice. Shock and…_happiness_ flooded her face. Bruises and all, Bella was still beautiful.

"Edward! Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry!"

I put my finger to her lips. "Shhh, everything's alright now."

All the elation I felt that she was awake faded slowly when she looked into my eyes, almost black now with real thirst, only a tinge of red still showed, but still, I was embarrassed for her to see them like that.

"What happened?" Bella asked.

I moved back to my chair, dredging up the still clear memory.

"I was almost too late. I could have been too late." The words came out a tormented whisper.

Bella tried to speak. Her voice was raspy, breathless – a side effect of four broken ribs.

"I was so stupid, Edward. I thought he had my mom."

"He tricked us all," I advised her.

"I need to call Charlie and my mom," Bella realized, ever the responsible kid.

"We already did. Renée is here – well, here in the hospital. She's getting something to eat right now."

"She's here?" Bella was anxious now, struggling to sit up on the bed. I placed my hand on her shoulder and eased her back down onto the pillows. She didn't put up a fight, not that she could have if she tried.

"She'll be back soon," I promised. "And you need to stay still."

"But what did you tell her? Why did you tell her I'm here?"

"You fell down two flights of steps." I paused. "You have to admit, it could happen.

She sighed, then winced. Even breathing hurt.

"How bad am I?"

"You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin, and you've lost a lot of blood." The words came out angrier than I meant them to. I softened my voice.

"They gave you a few transfusions. I didn't like it – it made you smell all wrong for a while."

"That must have been a nice change for you."

"No, I like how _you_ smell."

"How did you do it," she asked, looking down at her hand. I knew what she meant at once.

I looked away from her eyes. Her face yellow with fading bruises but her eyes were just as expressive as ever, as curious and deep as they had been before. Though I was not looking at her, I could feel her stare.

"It was impossible...to stop," I whispered. "Impossible. But I did." I finally was able to look at her, knowing that I'd done the impossible.

"I_ must_ love you."

Bella smiled, a slight half smile. "Don't I taste as good as I smell?"

"Even better – better than I'd imagined."

"I'm sorry."

I raised my eyes to the ceiling in frustration. What was she apologizing for? _For tasting good?_

"Of all the things to apologize for."

"What _should_ I apologize for?"

"For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever," I scolded her. Because as much as I wanted to, I could not take full responsibility for her being nearly killed.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again.

"I know why you did it," I explained. I didn't want to her to think that I was angry with her. "It was still irrational, of course. You should have waited for me, you should have told me."

"You wouldn't have let me go," Bella stated.

"No, I wouldn't."

Bella closed her eyes for a moment. It was a relief to not have her questioning eyes gazing at me.

However, I began to worry when I saw her wince in pain.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

She moved her head slowly from side to side. "Nothing, just bad memories."

Then she opened her eyes again. "What happened to James?"

"After I pulled him off you," – not going into details of _our _fight – "Emmett and Jasper took care of him," I answered. Even I could hear the tinge of regret in my voice. I had really wanted to finish him off myself, or at least helped.

"I didn't see Emmett and Jasper there."

_There was a lot she hadn't needed to see_, I wanted to tell her but I didn't.

"There was a lot of blood. They had to leave the room."

"But you stayed."

"Yes, I stayed."

"And Alice and Carlisle..."

"They love you too, you know.

Bella closed her eyes again...thinking...remembering. Her eyes popped open, as if she remembered something frightening, yet important.

"Did Alice see the tape?"

"Yes."

"She was always in the dark, that's why she didn't remember," Bella uttered.

"I know." I gritted my teeth. Alice's pain came rushing back, making my stomach curl. It wasn't right that she had to feel that way. She was a good person. She didn't deserve any type of pain.

Bella tried to reach out, to comfort me from the black look on my face, but the IV pulling at her hand stopped her.

"Ugh!"

"What is it?"

"Needles," she explained, looking away from the one in her hand.

_Wow, Bella could be truly a remarkably frustrating individual_.

"Afraid of a needle," I muttered under my breath. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An _IV_, on the other hand..."

I looked at Bella, gauging her reaction to my sarcasm, smiling when she rolled her eyes.

"Why are _you_ here?" she asked, suddenly.

_Ow, that hurt. _

But I could understand why she asked, why she would question my presence by her bedside, after all I'd done.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Her reaction was not what I expected.

"No!" she yelled, horrified. "No, I meant," she calmed herself a little, "why does my mother think you're here. I have to have my story straight before she gets back."

"Oh," I said, relaxing a little. The clarification made a lot more sense that what I'd been thinking.

"I came to Phoenix to talk some sense into you, to convince you to come back to Forks. You agreed to see me, and you drove out to the hotel were I was staying with Carlisle and Alice – of course I was here with parental supervision..." I paused, smiling at the concentrated expression on Bella's face. Was the story we'd concocted so good that even she believed it?

"But," I finished, "you tripped on the stairs on the way to my room and...Well, you know the rest. You don't need to remember any details though; you have a good excuse to be a little muddled about the finer points."

Bella was thoughtfully silent for a moment. "There are a few flaws with that story. Like no broken windows."

"Not really, I laughed. "It's all been taken care of very convincingly. Alice had a little bit too much fun fabricating evidence. You could probably sue the hotel if you wanted to. You have nothing to worry about," I assured her, running my finger along her bruised cheek.

Bella, despite her fogginess and being highly medicated, responded to my gentle touch _exactly _as I thought she would. Her heart monitor beeped erratically.

"That's going to be embarrassing," she grumbled. Now I wouldn't be the only one who could hear her heart's irrational responses to me.

"Hmmm, I...wonder," I hummed. Bella's heart always beat faster when I was _about_ to kiss her. I wondered what it would do when I _actually_ kissed her. I tended to get caught up in the moment as well and didn't pay attention during that part.

So I leaned towards Bella slowly. The beeping of the heart monitor accelerated wildly before my lips even touched her. However, when I pressed my lips against hers, with the most gentle of pressure, _the beeping stopped all together_.

I pulled back abruptly, relieved when the monitor started to beat again.

Bella _would _take the term heart-stopping to an entire new level.

"It seems that I've going to have to be even more careful with you than usual."

"I wasn't finished kissing you," Bella pouted. "Don't make me come over there."

Grinning, I did as the invalid wanted and kissed her again. Much to my amusement, the monitor went wild.

Only too quickly I had to pull away.

"I think I hear your mother."

"Don't leave me!" Bella panicked unnecessarily. I wasn't going anywhere.

"I won't," I promised then smiled. "I think I'll take a nap."

I moved from the chair next to her bed to the turquoise leather – Alice referred to it as pleather – chair at the foot of the bed. I leaned it all the way back and closed my eyes.

Renée was in the hallway now, talking to a nurse. Her voice was tired. I knew why. She rarely left the hospital, competing with me for the right as Bella's caretaker. I heard the door crack open.

"Mom!" Bella whispered.

Though my eyes were closed, I could feel Renée's eyes on me. She always looked at me when she came in the room.

_He never leaves, does he?_

"Mom, I'm so glad to see you!"

Renée placed her can of soda next to the bed and hugged her daughter.

"Bella, I was so upset!"

"I'm sorry, Mom. But everything's fine now, it's okay," Bella comforted her mother.

Renée sat on the edge of the bed and straightened Bella's blankets.

"I'm just glad to finally see your eyes open."

"How long have they been closed?"

"It's Friday, honey," Renée informed her. "You've been out for a while."

"Friday?" Bella sounded shocked. But she should not have been. I'd explained her gravity of her injuries.

"They had to keep you sedated for awhile, honey," Renée replied. "You've got a lot of injuries."

"I know," Bella said miserably.

"You're lucky Dr. Cullen was there," Renée stated. "He's such a nice man..."

_Very young though. And he looks more like a model than a doctor._

I grinned to myself. I'd forgotten to tell Bella about her mother's small crush on Carlisle.

"You met Carlisle?"

"And Edward's sister Alice. She's a lovely girl."

"She is," Bella agreed.

"You didn't tell me you had such good friends in Forks."

Bella didn't say anything. What could she say about her 'friends'? Instead she moaned.

My eyes flashed to her face. Thankfully Renée's back was to me.

"What's hurts?" Renée demanded anxiously.

"It's fine," Bella assured us. "I just have to remember not to move."

I lapsed back into my phony slumber. I wanted Bella to be able to have a private moment with her mother but I was not willing to leave the room. So I did my best _not_ to listen to their conversation.

Instead, I let my mind wander. I started thinking about every thing that was important to me and realized there was only my family and Bella that I honesty cared about. I was eternally in debt to every member of my family for risking everything for the girl that I loved.

Even Rosalie had been helpful. The female could have just as easily turned on her instead of running away. The situation with Rosalie was strained enough and I was treading on very thin ice with her. But I made up my mind to do something to make our relationship better. I had to.

I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I missed the entire conversation between Bella and Renée until Renée's mental voice, now alarmed, caught my attention.

_Why is she staring at me like that? Is she okay?_

"Wait, Mom," I heard Bella shout. "What are you talking about? I'm not going to Florida. I live in Forks."

With my eyes closed, I paid close attention to every word now, hoping to catch up.

"But you don't have to anymore, silly," Renée laughed. "Phil will be able to be around so much more now...we've talked about it a lot, and what I'm going to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half the time with him."

"Mom," Bella hesitated, perhaps trying to let her mother down easy. "I'm already settled in at school, and I have a couple of girlfriends...and Charlie needs me. He's just all alone up there, and he can't cook at _all_."

"You _want_ to stay in Forks?" Renée was bewildered. The idea was inconceivable to her. "Why?"

"I told you – school, Charlie."

"Bella, honey, you hate Forks," Renée reminded her.

I had been expecting this conversation. Renée had been thinking of it for hours, about the house that she and Phil had found, how Bella would love Jacksonville because it was always so sunny and she would have her own bathroom again. And I'd almost missed it.

"It's not so bad," Bella told her mother.

"Is it this boy?" Renée whispered.

I waited eagerly for Bella's answer. This was not the type of conversation she wanted to have with either of her parents.

"He's part of it," she admitted. "So, have you had a chance to talk with Edward?"

"Yes," Renée answered. "And I want to talk about that."

"What about?" Bella asked.

"I think that boy is in love you," she said it like it was a bad thing. To Renée, it was.

"I think so too," Bella stated.

"And how do you feel about him?" Renée poorly concealed the raging curiosity in her voice.

_Please don't say you love him too. Please, oh, please._

"I'm pretty crazy about him," was Bella's simple response. It sounded like something a teenager with her first boyfriend would say.

"Well, he _seems_ very nice, and my goodness, he's incredibly good-looking, but you're so young, Bella..." Renée's voice was unsure and sad. Since Alice first introduced me as Bella's boyfriend, Renée had been hoping that things were not that serious.

It was as if Bella was reading her mother's mind when she answered,

"I know that, Mom. Don't worry about it. It's just a crush."

_Crush?_ I laughed to myself. She wishes.

But I guess it was the right word to use for Renée's benefit. She would have been devastated to know that her daughter was in love at age seventeen. Renée had fallen in love with Charlie at a young age. Married and pregnant before the age of twenty was not the future she'd envisioned for her own child.

_She doesn't have to worry about that second part,_ I thought as I resumed listening to their conversation. Renée had mention that she had been spending the night at the hospital which had upset Bella.

"Crime?" I heard Bella ask in alarm.

"Someone broke into that dance studio around the corner from the house and burned it to the ground – there's nothing left at all! And they left a stolen car right out front. Do you remember when you used to dance there, honey?"

"I remember," Bella answered.

"I can stay, baby, if you need me."

"No, Mom, I'll be fine. Edward will be with me."

_That's probably why I should stay._

"I'll be back tonight," Renée stated. It sounded as much like a warning as it did a promise.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Bella. Try to be more careful when you walk, honey. I don't want to lose you."

My eyes stayed close but I was laughing hard inside. Emmett would get a kick out what Renée said as well, when I told him.

I waited until the room was empty again and sat back in the chair next to the bed.

"You stole a car?" Bella inquired, raising her eyebrows. The antics of teenage vampires took some time to get used to.

"It was a good car, very fast."

"How was your nap?"

I stared down at her, a bit of pink showing behind the yellowing bruises on her face.

"Interesting," I answered.

"What?"

"I'm surprised. I thought Florida and your mother...well, I thought that's what you would want."

Bella stared at me, confused. "But you'd be stuck inside all day in Florida. You'd only be able to come out at night, just like a real vampire."

_A real vampire. _ It was cute the way she said it. But that wasn't what I was curious about, it wasn't what bothered me.

"I would stay in Forks, Bella. Or somewhere like it," I explained. "Someplace where I couldn't hurt you anymore."

My words did not register at first. She continued to stare blankly but as the words I spoke began to make sense the beeping of the heart monitor increased and Bella's face became pained. Her mouth moved but no words formed.

I was beginning to think that she was in more physical pain than I'd realized. Once again I found myself wishing that not only could I take away the pain, but I could hear what she was thinking.

A nurse, her regular RN, walked purposefully into the room. I stayed still, watching as she took in Bella's expression with a practiced eye before turning to the beeping monitors.

"Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?" she asked kindly, tapping the IV feed.

"No, no," Bella mumbled. "I don't need anything."

"No need to be brave, honey. It's better if you don't get too stressed out; you need to rest."

Bella shook her head and the nurse sighed.

"Okay. Hit the call button when you're ready."

The nurse gave me a stern look, -- she had a feeling that I was the source of Bella's discomfort – then left the room.

As soon as she did, I slid closer to Bella and touched her face. "Shhh, Bella, calm down."

"Don't leave me," she pleaded.

"I won't. Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate you."

But the monitors kept beeping and her heart kept racing.

"Bella," I spoke soothingly, trying to calm her gasping and her racing heart. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me."

"Do you swear you won't leave me?" she whispered.

How could I leave now? Not when she needed me to stay with her. Not when she still wanted me. I could bring that type of hurt on her. She did not deserve it. And I did not deserve her.

I placed my hands on either side of her face and bent closer until we were eye to eye.

"I swear."

Beneath my cold hard hands, she began to relax. Finally the beeping returned to a normal pace.

"Better?"

"Yes," but there was a hint of caution in her voice.

I shook my head. "Should have expected a complete overreaction," I said to myself in a low enough pitch that Bella couldn't have heard me.

"Why did you say that?" Bella whispered. "Are you tried of having to save me all the time? Do you _want_ me to go away?

This wasn't about what I wanted. What I wanted was for her to be with me forever, as long as her forever was. What I wanted was to be able to touch her and hold her without fear of killing her. What I wanted, I could not have.

"No," I said to her. "I don't want to be without you, Bella. Of course not. Be rational. And I have no problem saving you, either – if it weren't for the fact that I was the putting you in danger...that's I'm the reason that you're here."

She frowned at my words. "Yes, you are the reason...the reason I'm here – _alive._"

"Barely. Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move."

"Why must you do that, Edward?" she asked, somewhat irritated. "Why must you blame yourself for _everything_? Because I wasn't referring to my most recent near-death experience. I was thinking of the others – you can take your pick. If it weren't for you, I would be rotting away in the Forks cemetery."

I winced at her words. The van...Port Angeles...no, those incidents had nothing to do with me. But this one...this was the very thing that showed me that Bella, no matter how much either of us loved one another, was not part of my world. No matter how much I tried, she would always be in danger if she stayed with me. It was clear that she'd never understand that.

Not to mention the taste, her blood now flowed through me. I'd carry that memory forever and what if, after tasting it, I was not strong enough to resist?

"That's not the worst part," I explained. "Not seeing you there on the floor...crumpled and broken. Not thinking I was too late. Not even hearing you scream in pain – all those unbearable memories that I'll carry with me for the rest of eternity.

"No," I choked out. "The very worst was feeling...knowing that I couldn't stop. Believing that I was going to kill you myself."

"But you didn't."

"I could have. So easily."

She needed to stay calm but my words were having the opposite affect. I could see the panic in her wild eyes.

"Promise me," she whispered.

I feigned like I'd forgotten what she asked. I could not make such a promise. I would leave before I killed her. There was no other way.

"Promise you what?"

"You know what," she said angrily.

I looked down at the broken but beautiful girl that I loved. I felt my muscles tighten. I had to be strong, to convince her that she'd won, if only to get her to calm herself.

"I don't seem to be strong enough to stay away from you, so I suppose that you'll get your way...whether it kills you or not."

"Good," she sighed. I don't know if she realized that I had not promised. But at least she was calmer, though still angry.

"You told me how you stopped...now I want to know why."

"What?" I repeated warily.

"_Why_ did you stop? Why didn't you just let the venom spread? By now I would be just like you."

Two emotions hit me at the same time, surprise and infuriation. The way Bella spoke of her life ending, of being a monster like me was upsetting, to say the least. At first I was angry at her but then I realized that someone must have explained how it happened. How else would she have known about the venom? I was always extremely careful not to discuss that with her.

_And I refused to answer such a ridiculous question._

"I'll be the first to admit," Bella spoke again when she realized that I had no intentions of answering. "But it just seems logical...a man and woman have to be somewhat equal...as in, once of them can't always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other _equally_."

I folded my arms on the side of the bed and rested my chin against them. This conversation was slowly killing me and Bella couldn't see it.

"You _have_ saved me," I said quietly.

"I can't always be Lois Lane," she insisted. "I want to be Superman, too.

I stared at the edge of the pillowcase, not willing for her to see the hurt in my eyes. I wanted to kill Alice and/or Jasper for filling her head with this nonsense.

"You don't know what you're asking."

"I think I do."

I sat up. This was absurd. She had no idea no idea what she was asking for. An eternity of being a freak, an undead creature, doomed to drink blood and walk the earth forever. A lifetime of never changing. Endless nights. And if there was such a thing as an end to our kind, it meant being condemned to burn for the _rest _of eternity.

"Bella, you _don't_ know. I've had almost ninety years to think about this, and I'm still not sure."

"Do you wish that Carlisle had not saved you?"

"No! I don't wish that. But this is different. My life was over. I wasn't giving anything up."

"You _are_ my life," Bella stated, using my own words against me. "You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose."

I shook my head. "I can't do it Bella. I couldn't do it in the ballet studio and I won't do it ever. I won't do that to you."

"Why not?" she questioned, now more angry than frustrated. But what she was asking was a crime. "Don't tell me it's too hard. After today, or I guess it was a few days ago...anyway, after _that_, it should be nothing!"

"And the pain?" I asked, glaring at the gauze and her cast, remembering how she screamed. No, Bella would not be able to endure three days of burning. Even if she could, I could not.

"That's my problem," she said bravely. "I can handle it."

"It's possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity."

She rolled her eyes. "It's not an issue. Three days. Big deal."

There was no way, now, that I wasn't going to have a really severe talk with my little sister. She had no right to divulge that information to Bella. None, whatsoever.

"Charlie?" I asked curtly. "Renée?" Was she so ready to leave her family to join a family of vampires? Was she so ready to give up the love of the only two humans in the world who truly cared about her? Minutes passed as she struggled internally with my question. I was right. She wasn't ready.

"Look, that's not an issue either," Bella muttered but her voice was unconvincing as it always was when she lied. "Renée has always made the choices that work for her – she'd want me to do the same. And Charlie's resilient. He's used to being on his own. I can't take care of them forever. I have my own life to live."

"Exactly!" I snapped. "And I won't end it for you!"

"If you're waiting for me to be on my deathbed," Bella fired back, "I've got news for you! I was just there!"

"You're going to recover."

We started at each other, neither of us relenting. But I would not compromise on the subject of Bella's life.

"No," she said slowly. "I'm not.

"Of course you are. You may have a scar or two..."

'You're wrong," she cried. "I'm going to die."

_For the love of God!_ Was it the pain medicine that was making her this irrational?

"Really, Bella...you'll be out of here in a few days. Two weeks at most."

"I may not die now," she said, her teeth clenched. "But I'm going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And I'm going to get old."

I frowned as what she was saying started to sink in. This was irritating for lack of a better word. But she wasn't understanding me. I never thought of Bella as dramatic, but I was wrong.

"That's how it's supposed to happen. How it should happen. How it would have happened it if didn't exist – and _I shouldn't exist._"

"That's stupid," she snorted. "That's like going to someone who's just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying 'Look, let's just go back to how things should be. It's better that way.' And I'm not buying it!"

"I'm hardly a lottery prize," I growled.

"That's right. You're much better."

I rolled my eyes, deciding that it was the pain medication or lack of it that was making her talk to so foolishly.

"Bella, we're not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that's the end of it."

"If you think that's the end," she asserted, "then you don't know me very well. You're not the only vampire I know."

"Alice wouldn't dare," I told her. Alice wouldn't defy my wishes like that.

"Alice already saw it, didn't she? That's why the things she says upset you. She knows I'm going to be like you...someday."

I shook my head. Bella had no idea what she was talking about.

"Alice is wrong. She also saw you _dead_, but that didn't happen either."

"You'll never catch _me_ betting against Alice," Bella said decidedly.

_And you'll never get the chance_, I thought.

We stared at each other for a very long time. It was quiet except for the whirring of the machines, the beeping, the dripping, the ticking of the clock on the wall. Finally Bella spoke.

"So where does that leave us?"

"I believe it's called an _impasse_." Stuck between a rock and a hard place. But Bella had no idea who she was dealing with. On this issue, I would not be moved.

She sighed. "Ouch," she muttered.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine," she lied.

"I don't believe you."

"I'm not going back to sleep," she insisted but I could see the pain in her eyes.

"You need rest. All this arguing isn't good for you."

"So give in."

"Nice try," I said and reached for the nurse call button.

"No!" Bella protested but I ignored her. She wasn't winning this one either.

"Yes?" the speaker on the wall squawked.

"I think we need more pain medication," I spoke aloud, ignoring Bella's furious expression.

"I'll send in the nurse."

"I won't take it," Bella declared, more like a defiant three year old than a seventeen year old hospital patient.

I pointed to the IV beside her bed. "I don't think they're going to ask you to swallow anything.

Her heart rate started to climb. I read the fear in her eyes and sighed in frustration. Was she really scared of a little needle?

"Bella, you're in pain. You need to relax so you can heal. Why are you being so difficult? They're not going to put any more needles in you now."

"I'm not afraid of the needles," she mumbled. "I'm afraid to close my eyes."

Again, I leaned close to her and placed both of my hands on her face.

"I told you, I'm not going anywhere. Don't be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, I'll be here."

She tried to smile back but it was painful. "You're talking about forever, you know."

"Oh, you'll get over it. It's just a crush."

"I was shocked when Renée swallowed that one," she shook her head. "But you...I know _you_ know better."

"That's the beautiful thing about being human," I told her. "Things change."

"Don't hold your breath."

Her anger was amusing. She was so serious about something that was never going to happen. I was still laughing when the nurse came in, brandishing a syringe. I got up and crossed to the end of the small room, leaned against the wall, waiting for the nurse to finish. Bella, still unnecessarily apprehensive, kept her eyes locked on me.

"Here you go, honey," the nurse smiled as she injected the medicine into the IV tube. "You'll feel better now."

"Thank you," Bella mumbled, unenthusiastically. The morphine started to work instantly.

"That ought to do it," the nurse muttered as Bella's eyelids began to close.

"She'll be sleep in a few seconds," the nurse informed me before leaving, as if I couldn't already see that.

When the room was clear I went back to the bed, to Bella.

"Stay," she whispered. The single word was slurred.

"I will," I promised. "Like I said, as long as it makes you happy...as long as it's what's best for you."

"'S not the same thing," she slurred.

I laughed. "Don't worry about that now, Bella. You can argue with me when you wake up."

That brought a strained sort of smile to her face. "Kay."

I bent to her face and whispered in her ear. "I love you."

"Me too."

"I know," I laughed quietly.

She turned her head slightly, searching for me. My lips touched hers gently.

"Thanks," she sighed.

"Anytime.

"Edward," she struggled to say my name. Sleep was overcoming her.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I'm betting on Alice."

I gazed at Bella as sleep overcame her and soon she was in a deep, restful slumber.

"Is she asleep?" Alice whispered from the door.

I nodded and my entire family, Esme and Rosalie included, entered the room, as quiet as church mice. I was surprised to see them all.

"Surprise!" Esme whispered, smiling. "How is she?"

I stood up and hugged Esme, then Rose.

"She's alive. Why are you guys here?"

"Carlisle said that you were going to be down here for at least a week," Rosalie answered. "Ten days is a rather long time for us to be away from you all." She smiled and glanced down at Bella's sleeping face.

"Plus, we wanted to see that she really was okay...with our own eyes."

"That's very sweet of you," I replied.

Alice slipped beside me and put her arm around my waist.

"We heard what Bella asked," she confessed. "I know you didn't want her to know. I'm sorry, Edward."

But I couldn't be stay angry at Alice, especially after all she'd been through.

"It's okay," I replied. "I'm not angry. I could never be angry at any of you after what you did for me. Thank you so much."

"Happy to do it, bro," Emmett answered for everyone.

I turned to Alice.

"Alice, I'm going to need you to watch out for Bella, rather closely," I added. "She tends to be magnet for trouble and since you're going to be her best friend and all..."

She smiled brightly. "Got you covered, brother."

"You know," Esme spoke softly, running her fingers lightly over Bella's bandaged head. "You and Bella are like Romeo and Juliet."

Take it for Esme, a true Shakespeare fanatic, to identify us with that pair of star-crossed lovers. To this day, she still wishes that she had been alive to meet the infamous playwright.

I grinned at Esme and placed my hand on top of hers. I looked down at Bella.

""Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow...That I shall say good night till it be morrow."


	14. Epilogue: An Occasion

Epilogue: An Occasion

The sun was just beginning to set as I helped Bella into my recently washed and waxed Aston Martin. It was a special occasion that called for my favorite car.

Bella looked ravishing, more than beautiful. Alice had spent hours styling her long dark hair into elaborate curls. She and Rosalie had spent hours on the Internet picking out the perfect dress and shoes.

It was their gift to me. The blue silk and chiffon dress, the delicate stiletto shoes- well, shoe; Bella's leg was still encased in a bulky walking cast – held on by wide satin ribbons, the expertly applied makeup, all of the things the three us knew that Bella would not do for herself, especially if she knew my plans for the evening.

We waved goodbye to Charlie standing on the porch. After I had Bella settled comfortably in the leather seat, we headed down the narrow street.

"At what point exactly are you going to tell me what's going on?" Bella asked grumpily. I had been trying to ignore the angry set of her mouth. I did not want her to ruin my moment.

"I'm shocked that you haven't figured it out yet," I smiled mockingly at her. Bella _hates _surprises.

"I did mention that you looked very nice, didn't I?" Bella asked. I remembered the awed expression she wore when I showed up at her doorstep in my black tuxedo. I've always had a fondness for black, especially on my sisters and Esme. The color contrasted extremely well with our pale skin. I experienced a rare bit of conceit when I wore black. It did make me look like a male model.

"Yes," I grinned.

Bella blushed brightly and stared uncomfortably at her shoe. Alice had told me all about Bella's makeover. I was proud of Alice, drawing on her own misfortune of not having any human memories and having to live vicariously through Bella, in order to get Bella to cooperate. There wasn't anything Bella wouldn't do for Alice.

"I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do," Bella griped.

Before I could respond, my cell phone range. I pulled the small phone out of my jacket pocket and checked the caller ID.

"Hello, Charlie," I said into the phone.

"Charlie?" Bella frowned.

Since our return from Phoenix, Charlie had been somewhat difficult. He had compartmentalized Bella's experience into two very definite reactions. He was grateful towards Carlisle for being there and helping Bella through her emergency. I was a different story. He wasn't entirely convinced – neither was I – that I wasn't at fault. If not for me, Bella would have never left and would not have gotten injured. I fully agreed with him. However, upon her return, Charlie had put new rules in place for his only child: curfews…visiting hours.

"Edward," Charlie said. "I believe there has been a miscommunication. Tyler Crowley is here. He said he was supposed to take Bella to prom."

"You're kidding!" I howled in amusement.

"What is it?" Bella demanded but I didn't answer.

"Why don't you let me talk to him?" I said to Charlie instead.

"Sure," Charlie said slowly. A few seconds later Tyler was on the line.

"Hello, Tyler," I said, in a very friendly tone. But I'm sure he could hear the edge to my words. "This is Edward Cullen. I'm sorry if there's been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight."

"What do you mean 'unavailable'?" Tyler asked. "We're supposed to be going to prom. What are you up to, Cullen?"

He was angry and had no right to be. I remembered the conversation he had with Bella. No, she had not outright turned him down, but what type of person waits until the day of prom to confirm his date?

"To be perfectly honest, Tyler, she'll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And I'm sorry about your evening." I snapped the phone shut with a huge smirk on my face. _Kids._

I glanced at Bella. She was no longer sitting in her seat quietly…comfortably. Her face and neck flushed crimson with anger. I was afraid that my response to Tyler had infuriated her. Was I wrong?

"Was that last part a bit too much? I didn't mean to offend you," I told her.

"You're taking me to _the prom_!" she yelled.

I was unsure about her reaction. Surely, it wasn't that difficult to guess what the occasion was. The formal attire and the posters that decorated every inch of the walls at school were obvious clues. Well, it was too late to do anything about it now. We were halfway at the high school.

"Don't be difficult Bella."

"Why are you doing this to me?" she demanded in horror.

"Honestly, Bella, what did you think we were doing?"

"I'd guessed there was some kind of special occasion brewing. But prom!" she cried.

Angry tears rolled down Bella's cheeks. I was tempted to stop the car and turn around. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. But then again, it was just a little dance. And every teenager should experience their prom.

"This is complety ridiculous. Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm _mad_!"

"Bella," I turned my face towards here, using my dazzling powers to calm her.

"What?" she muttered obviously distracted.

"Humor me."

"Fine," she gave in, though she pouted like a child. "I'll go quietly. But you'll see. I'm way overdue for more bad luck. I'll probably break my other leg. Look at this shoe! It's a death trap!" She held out her good leg as evidence.

But I wasn't paying attention to her rant. I stared at her milky white leg, toned and shapely from holding the bulk of her weight for weeks.

"Hmmm…remind me to thank Alice for that tonight."

"Alice is going to be there?" That seemed to comfort her slightly.

"With Jasper, and Emmett…and Rosalie," I admitted.

Though Rosalie had been cordial in the hospital while we were in Phoenix and was not evil or rude to Bella, there really had been no progress in their relationship. Actually, they didn't have a relationship because the way Rosalie chose to cope with Bella was to pretend as if she didn't exist.

"Is Charlie in on this?" Bella asked, suddenly suspicious.

I grinned. "Of course. Apparently Tyler wasn't though."

We were at the school now. I pulled my car next to Rosalie's BMW. I got out first, hoping that Bella would stay put until I got there. The clouds in the sky were thinning, a few streaks of sunlight escaped but not enough to cause any trouble. I opened Bella's door and held out my hand. She remained stubbornly in her seat with her arms folded across her chest.

I looked around the crowed parking lot. There were too many people around for me to just lift Bella out of the car; she would definitely put up a fight, just to draw attention.

"When someone wants to kill you," I sighed, "you're brave as a lion. And then when someone mentions dancing…" I shook my head.

"Dancing…" Bella gulped.

"Bella, I won't let anything hurt you – not even yourself. I won't let go of you once, I promise."

She looked up at me, for the first time, she actually looked happy.

"There now…it won't be so bad." I leaned down and wrapped one arm around her waist. She took my other hand and I lifted her willingly from the car. I kept my arm tightly around her waist, supporting her as she limped.

I've been to plenty of proms before. Rosalie and Alice insist on attending them at every high school we attended. Usually they were held in huge, beautifully decorated ballrooms. However, Forks High School, held it's prom in the school gymnasium. It was the only room in town big enough for a dance.

I was pleased to hear Bella's bell like giggle when we stepped inside.

"What's so funny?" I asked. She was looking around at the balloon arches and twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper. I had to admit, the décor was not tasteful but then again, this was Forks, not Seattle.

"This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen," Bella snickered.

"Well," I muttered as we approached the ticket table, "there are _more _than enough vampires present."

I followed Bella's gaze to the dance floor where two couples – Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie – whirled around gracefully. The other dancers had moved to the side to give them space.

Emmett and Jasper looked quite dapper in their classic tuxedos, though Rosalie had almost a hard enough time convincing Emmett to wear his, as Alice had with Bella. Alice was quite striking in her black satin dress with geometric cutouts that bared large triangles of her snowy white skin. I overheard her telling Esme that she and Rosalie's dresses were being specially made; an unknown French designer was dressing them for this special event. And Rosalie, well, she was usually the prettiest girl in any room. Her scarlet dress was backless, tight to her calves and then flared into ruffled train. She and Esme argued about her plunging neckline. It was a useless argument.

"Do you want me to bolt the doors so that you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?" Bella whispered.

I glared at her. "And where do you fit into that scheme?"

"Oh, I'm with the vampires."

I smiled. "Anything to get out of dancing."

"Anything."

I paid for the tickets and turned my date towards the dance floor. She cringed against my arm and dragged her feet.

"I've got all night," I warned.

Slowly we made our way to the dance floor, close to my family.

"Edward," Bella whispered a hint of horror in her voice. "I _honestly_ can't dance!"

"Don't worry, silly," I whispered back. "I _can_." I placed her arms around my neck and lifted her slightly. When I set her down, she was standing, weightlessly, on my feet.

"Shall we?" I said. Without waiting for an answer I began to dance across the dance floor.

I've been told that I'm an excellent dancer. Moving across the floor, I felt like we were Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. We waltzed effortlessly on the dance floor. Bella giggled and enjoyed herself.

"I feel like I'm five years old," she laughed.

"You don't look five," I murmured. She looked amazing and for a second I could not help pulling her as close to me as possible. A fire burned within me, desire, not for her blood – I'd already had that – but a yearning for a certain closeness that I could not seem to capture. Still, it felt wonderful, holding her in my arms.

"Okay, this isn't half bad," Bella admitted. Smiling, I brushed my lips gently over the web of curls, the softness of her hair burning my lips.

_There she is,_ a familiar voice sounded in my head. I looked towards the gymnasium doors. Anger flowed through me. We couldn't massacre the student body, but one treaty breaking Quileute wouldn't be that bad, would it?

"What is it?" Bella asked. I hadn't noticed that she was aware of the angry set of my jaw. She followed my gaze.

Jacob Black was standing by the door, in his off-beat version of formal attire: a long sleeved white shirt and tie. He was crossing the floor towards us.

_This is awkward_, Jacob thought as he approached us. _Why is he staring at me like that? He doesn't even know why I'm here. If he knew, he'd be really upset._

A low snarl escaped. Bella glared at me.

"_Behave_," she hissed. I had to remember that Jacob was her friend.

Jacob reached us then. Embarrassment was even more evident on his face.

"Hey, Bella, I was hoping you would be here," he said, unconvincingly.

"Hi, Jacob," Bella smiled back. "What's up?"

"Can I cut in?" he asked tentatively.

_NO!_ I wanted to yell but didn't. I felt Jasper and Emmett watching, ready to take action if necessary. I did not answer the boy's question, opting to just set Bella back on her feet and step back.

"Thanks," Jacob said amiably. In a way, I felt sorry for the boy. His recent growth spurt had made him just as uncoordinated as Bella. It was painful to watch them dance. I walked away, towards my family.

"What's going on Edward?" Rosalie asked. "Why is he here?"

"I don't know yet," I answered, taking Rosalie's hand. "Come on. Let's go find out."

We waltzed out to the dance floor, close enough to Bella and Jacob to hear but not close enough for her to be suspicious.

"Can you believe my dad paid me twenty bucks to come to your prom?" Jacob asked, slightly ashamed.

"Yes, I can," Bella muttered. "Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself, at least. Seen anything you like?" she teased, nodding towards a group of formally dressed girls lined up against the wall.

"Yeah," he sighed. "But she's taken."

"Ow, Edward," Rosalie shrieked. "Why are squeezing my hand like that?"

"Sorry," I mumbled, loosening my grip on Rosalie's hand. But her outburst had caused me to miss something.

"He's not here to cause any trouble," Rosalie insisted. She'd been listening too. "His father sent him. Be mad at him, not the kid."

I ignored her and concentrated on Jacob.

"Anyway, he said that if I told you something, he would get me that master cylinder I need…"

"If he hurries and tells her," Rosalie griped, "I'll build his car for him. Geez kid, can you be anymore of a klutz at this?"

"Tell me, then," Bella grinned at her friend. "I want you to get your car finished."

"Don't get mad, okay?"

"There's no way I'll be mad at you, Jacob," she assured him. "I won't even be mad at Billy. Just say what you have to."

Ha. Even Bella knew that Billy was the culprit.

"Edward," Rosalie said, interrupting my concentration. "Have you noticed that we're just standing in the middle of the dance floor? Now this does look suspicious."

"Sorry, but this makes me mad. Billy Black is starting trouble when he has no right to."

"Well, imagine how he feels, Edward. Put yourself in the Quileute's shoes. Bella leaves town with a bunch of vampires and comes back broken up. What would you think?"

It wasn't like Rosalie to be so rational, especially when there were other people's feelings to consider.

"Since when are you on their side?" I asked as we started to dance again.

"I'm not. I'm just stating the obvious."

"Just spit it out, Jacob," I heard Bella say.

"It's so bad," Jacob moaned.

"I don't care. Tell me," Bella insisted.

"Okay…but geez, this sounds bad." He shook his head. "He said to tell you, no, to _warn_ you, that – and this is his plural, not mine" – he lifted his hands and made air quotes – "we'll be watching."

Bella laughed. So did Rose and I.

"Poor Jacob Black," she said. "That really is awkward."

"Yeah, I can't be so hard on the kid. He really didn't want to do this."

The song ended and Rosalie floated back to Emmett. I walked towards my date and her intruding friend.

Jacob's hands hesitated at Bella's waist as he glanced down at her cast. "Do you want to dance again? Or can I help you get somewhere?"

I answered for Bella. "That's alright, Jacob. I'll take it from here."

Jacob flinched and stared wide-eyed at me.

_Where'd he come from?_

"Hey, I didn't see you there," he mumbled. "I guess I'll see you around Bella." He stepped back and waved halfheartedly.

Bella smiled. "Yeah, I'll see you later."

"Sorry," Jacob said again before he turned for the door.

I watched him exit then wrapped my arms around Bella as the next song started. She leaned her head against my chest.

"Feeling better?" she teased.

"Not really."

"Don't be mad at Billy," Bella said. She knew I was listening. "He just worries about me for Charlie's sake. It's nothing personal."

"I'm not mad at Billy," I corrected her. "But his son is irritating me."

She pulled back, noticing the seriousness of my face.

"Why?"

"First of all, he made me break my promise."

She stared at me in confusion.

"I promised I wouldn't let go of you tonight," I explained.

"Oh. Well, I forgive you."

I frowned. "Thanks. But there is something else."

"What is that?" she asked.

"He called you _pretty_. That's practically an insult, the way you look right now. You're much more than beautiful."

She laughed. "You might be a little biased."

"I don't think that's it. Besides, I have excellent eyesight."

We danced across the floor, me holding Bella close as possible. I would not let her go for the rest of the night. I don't care if the entire Quileute tribe walked through the doors.

"So are you going to explain the reason for all of this?" she asked.

I was baffled for a minute until I caught her looking at the crepe paper. Ah yes, prom.

I considered her question for a moment. This was not the place for the answer I had in mind. So I changed our direction and we spun through the crowd, to the back door of the gymnasium. I saw her real friends staring at us. Jessica…Mike Newton. Angela was there too, looking blissfully happy in the arms of little Ben Cheney. And then we were outdoors, in the cool, dim light of a fading sunset.

As soon as we were alone, I swung her into my arms and carried her across the dark grounds to a bench, shadowed by the madrone trees. I cradled her in my arms, wishing the night would never end. This was almost perfect.

"The point?" Bella asked softly, gazing up towards the pale moon.

"Twilight, again," I uttered. "Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end." The story of my life.

"Some things don't have to end," Bella stated. I felt her body go tense and I wondered why.

I exhaled a deep breath.

"I brought you to the prom," I said slowly, "because I don't want you to miss anything. I don't want my presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it. I want you to be _human_. I want your file to continue as it would have if I'd died in 1918 like I should have."

Bella shuddered in my arms, then shook her head angrily.

"In what strange parallel dimension would I _ever_ have gone to prom of my own free will? If you weren't a thousand times stronger than me, I would never have let you get away with this."

A brief smile washed over my face. "It wasn't so bad, you said so yourself."

"That's because I was with you."

I stared at the moon. I didn't want to ruin this remarkable night. I didn't want to fight.

"Will you tell me something?" I asked.

"Don't I always?"

"Just promise you'll tell me," I insisted.

"Fine."

"You seemed honestly surprised when you figured out that I was taking you here," I began.

"I was," she interjected.

"Exactly. But you must have had some other theory. I'm curious – what did you _think _I was dressing you up for?"

Bella pursed her lips. She didn't want to answer. I knew I shouldn't have asked.

"I don't want to tell you."

"But you promised."

"I know."

"What's the problem? Is it really that bad, Bella?"

"I think it will make you mad…or sad," she answered.

Hmmm, now I had a hint of what it was. "I still want to know. Please?"

She sighed. I waited.

"Well…I assumed it was some kind of…occasion. But I didn't think it would some trite human thing…_prom_!" she scoffed

"Human?" That was the key word.

She stared bashfully down at her dress, fiddling with a stray piece of chiffon.

"Okay," she confessed, rushing to get her explanation out. "So I was hoping that you might have changed your mind…that you were going to change _me_, after all."

Anger, pain, confusion…then amusement is what I felt as she spoke.

"You thought that would be a black tie occasion, did you?" I teased.

She scowled, unsuccessfully trying to hide her embarrassment. The idea was rather ludicrous.

"I don't know how these things work. To me, at least, it seems more rational than prom does."

I was still grinning, unable able to contain my amusement.

"It's not funny," she scolded me.

"You're right," I said seriously. "But I'd rather treat it like a joke, than to believe that you're serious.

"But I am serious."

I knew that this conversation hadn't ended in the hospital room. I anticipated having to have it again. But not tonight. I refused to let my anger get the best of me. This would be a night to remember and it would not be because of a ridiculous fight.

"I know," I exhaled deeply. "And you're that willing?"

Bella bit her lip and nodded.

"So ready for this to be the end," I said, almost to myself. Couldn't she see how clearly this pained me? "So ready for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You're ready to give up everything."

"It's not the end, it's the beginning," she said under her breath.

"I'm not worth it." Sad to say but it was true.

Bella sat up and stared into my eyes.

"Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly? You obviously have the same blindness."

"I know what I am."

Bella sighed and I saw that my words were not registering with her. It was what she wanted. I was what she wanted and nothing would change that. I examined the sullen expression on her face for a moment.

"You're ready now, then?" I asked.

"Um…yes?"

Slowly I leaned my head towards her, feeling the warmth radiating off her skin. My lips brushed the corner of her jaw. Her heart began to race.

"Right now?" I whispered.

"Yes." She wasn't. Her body was rigid, her hands balled into fists, bracing herself for my kiss of death.

I leaned away. "You can't really believe that I would give in so easily."

"A girl can dream," she said but her body relaxed.

"Is that what you dream about," I asked, raising my eyebrows. "Being a monster?"

"Not exactly. Mostly I dream about being with you forever."

The subtle ache in her voice broke my heart. We shared the same dream. But I refused to believe that this was the only way.

"Bella," I traced the outline of her lips with my fingers. "I _will_ stay with you. Isn't that enough?"

She smiled. "Enough for now."

I frowned at her. We were at that same place; no one was going to surrender tonight. I exhaled but it came out a growl.

Bella straightened up and touched my face. Her fingertips left a warm trail on my cool face.

"Look," she said, "I love you more than everything else in the world combined. Isn't that enough?"

"Yes, it is enough," I smiled. "Enough for forever."

She moved closer, her eyes penetrating my heart. No decision was made, not tonight, not ever, if I could help it. Tonight would end perfectly, the way I'd always planned.

_The joy of first love. The promise of love forever._

"I love you," I told her and pressed my lips against her throat.


End file.
